A little hope is effective
by Kiki-or-Coco
Summary: The 74th hunger games. Looking from the perspective of a mentor from district 4. At the age of 15 Ayda won her hunger games but now she has a whole different battle at 18 she now has to be mentor. Her games have never been over but now she has to take a tribute into the arena, having locked herself away since her victory, she's in for a shock as the light is firmly back on her.
1. Chapter 1

My scream wakes me as I fight too free myself from my drug fuelled sleep- sweat beads on my neck and my hands grip the duvet till my knuckles are white. My eyes open violently and I breathe heavily…

How did it all change? The Hunger Games…the barbaric, blood hungry games; who ever thought that it was a good idea? Who ever thought I'd win it?

Not me.

And now I have to be a mentor… yet I still can't forget my games… and still can't forget the horrors…

 _When my name was picked from the ball my heart stopped, I couldn't breathe; for me it was a death sentence. I'd never really watched the games; they were on in the background of my life. I was 15 and coming from District Four agile in water and that's about it. I was small although muscled from the sea, and pretty much unremarkable apart from my luminous emerald eyes and my mothers' fortunate looks- at 5-foot-tall and not even 100 pounds my chances were none... I was the youngest girl to ever be reaped from district four, and when I left on the train I thought I'd never come home._

 _My mentor was a woman named Mags, a lovely older lady who was so very kind; she held me like my mother when I sobbed, brokenheartedly on the train. She hummed to me under her breath, and despite everything she made me feel so very, very safe. She spoke softly and soothingly, murmuring sweet words to me. My District partner was an 18-year-old, called Marsh; he was huge all 6-foot- 5' of him was heavily muscled and he was lethal as a killer- almost instantly he was a favourite to win._

 _The capital was like nothing I'd ever seen before in my life. The grotesque disguises of those mutilated by the capital were enticing, I'd never seen anything like it and it was made all the more extreme and all the more wonderful. The colour; the vibrancy; I was in awe of the peculiar match work that was life in this bustling city, that had never known what it was like to work hard and go hungry. As much as I hated that it had sentenced me to death, driving to the training centre made me envious of the safety and fun that seemed to ooze from every pore of every citizen, of every building…_

 _My prep team were outrageous but mostly more than complimentary. Polly, a plump young woman with spiked magenta hair and gold patterns inked into her forehead 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at my eyes, rambling away about how such a beautiful thing could come from a 'district'. Elsa, a small willowy character with inch long golden nails kept touching my long curtain of naturally curly blonde hair; almost unintelligible as she spoke in glee about all the things the capital could do. My hair covered me to mid-thigh, curly and beautiful; the only thing that I thought was truly beautiful inside of me. Tee was the only part of my prep team who wasn't as complimentary, he ripped out my leg hair with a face that was like disgust; murmuring away to himself and tutting when I yelped in pain. It was hours of scrubs, shampoos, waxing and shaving then came the plucking and a hose down or two. By the time I was through with my prep-team I wanted nothing more than to submerge myself into the sea back home, and swim far away… instead I got to meet my stylist._

 _Axel came into the room, and was a surprise. His long hair was tied up to show his strong jawline and cheekbones, and he had very few capital changes. The most on show was two hoops on his left nostril, thick metal hoops that were pierced into his nose and interlocked; the second of which was the selection of hoops that went all the way up his ear- a mixture of gold, silver and bronze. All of this didn't change the look in his eyes or disguise the youth that was more than apparent. Axel was new, he was young and he was very much beautiful. He spoke with reverence and didn't try to sugar coat the whole thing. We ate lunch together that day and he spoke none stop about his dream and ambition, he made me think past what was to come. For the chariot parade he prepped me himself, braiding my long hair pinning pieces up and adorning it with seaweed, nets and pieces of the sea- my face changed and was given tone- I was aged with the use of highlighters and random make-up pallets. When I'd looked in the mirror I hadn't even recognised myself: the strong brows, the outlined eyes, even my lips weren't my own. He donned me in fabric so soft, it rippled in the wind and reminded me of the sea I loved so much. The skirt flowed along the floor, covering me from my waist in rippling sheets of home. Marsh was dressed in the same fabric as me except his outfit consisted of just pants, it was obvious that his stylist was playing the heart throb card. I only caught glimpses of myself that night but people watched me, and it was the first time I'd felt truly ill in my time at the capital._

I can't breathe. My body is hyperventilating in my room. It takes me many moments to compose myself and to find my centre again.

'It's okay.' I chant to myself. 'It's not you again.'

I turn and look to my clock, seeing the hands turned to quarter to nine; the reaping isn't until eleven. I feel my body shake in acute fear of what is to come. This year is my first year as mentor, at 18 I am now the female mentor for district 4. It doesn't seem real somehow. I have gotten away with not even being shown on camera for the last couple of years, disappearing after my victory tour but now I have to go back and be one of the capital's _victors_. The word feels sickening on my tongue, I cannot believe I have to do this, that I have to take some poor girl to the heart of our nation only to have to battle to the death. Mag's stroke has played a key part in me having to take the role so soon; there is another female victor Annie Cresta but I don't think she could cope…even with Finnick there. Finnick was mentor two years ago, when I was in my games- he's the capitals heart throb and he has been since the moment he came of age but the saddest thing is he loves Annie… we can't tell anyone because of the capital but it's true.

I walk down the stairs in my house, feeling the sun through the windows bathe my face, I tie my robe tighter around my middle and hurry to my kitchen filling my kettle for tea. The knock on the door stuns me.

'Knock knock…' I'd recognise that voice anywhere.

'Axel?!'

'One and only.' I run at him and he catches me; swinging me in a circle-he is the only thing from the capital that I truly miss, it has been over a year since I last set eyes on my stylist but nothing has changed.

'What you doing here?'

'I can leave if you want?' He jokes.

'You know what I mean!' I say playfully punches his shoulder.

'Ow…' He says for affect and then he reaches for my hand. 'I thought you might want a little handholding and I've missed you… thought I might have seen you at the last games…'

'Yeah I didn't really…'

'Shh I know.' He raises my hand to his lips. 'So I'm here to prep you.'

'Oh god.' I laugh.

'Exactly, like I said last time I'm here to do anything to make this easier for you…'

His words stun me and take me back to our first meeting:

' _Hi I'm Axel; I'm your stylist, your friend…'_

' _I'm Ayda…' I mumbled._

' _Well Ayda lets make an impression!'_

' _What's the point? I can't win this.'_

' _Hope, hope can do so much…'_

' _What difference does it make to you?'_

' _Everything, I'm here to do anything to make this easier for you…'_

 _I'd smiled and that's when I'd first began to trust him._

'Ayda! Ayda!' His fingers clicking in front of my face rouse me from my flashback.

'Sorry, sorry.'

'Sweetie I'm here and your safe.' He pulls me in for a hug and I let myself enjoy the closeness; his hand stroking my hair makes me feel like a child and I let myself relax against him for a few moments before I look up to his face.

'Thank you.' I murmur.

'Anytime.' He breathes.

'Tea?' I ask stepping back.

'Two sugars and milk please.'

'Snap!' I laugh childishly, grabbing two cups from my cupboard and pouring the hot water into my teapot.

'So how's everything?' Axel says as he goes into my hall coming back with two large bags and one plain clothing bag hung over his arm.

'Well apart from the obvious, pretty good actually- I have my talent sorted.'

'Oh God do I even want to know?'

'Look!' I say pointing to my conservatory that overlooks the sea.

'Is that pottery?'

'Hell yeah!' I laugh.

'So that's your capital talent, what's your real talent?'

'Em…self-defence…'

'Ayda?'

'I know but it's just something I have to do.'

'Hey I'm not judging you, I'm worried about you.'

'I worry about me too…'

'Ayda why didn't you call me?'

'Well your busy with Capital stuff… I didn't want to bother you…'

'You're an idiot…have you pierced your ears again?'

'Oh yeah…' I say raising my hand to my ear touching the two hoops.

'I've missed you Ay.'

'I've missed you too.'

I don't know who leans in first me or him but it's like fireworks when our lips meet and all the tension just melts away. It takes me back to when we kissed on the train, on the Victory tour when I'd had a day from hell.

' _I killed that kid.'_

' _You wouldn't be alive if you didn't.'_

' _Why am I any better than them?'_

' _It's a game Ay, that's all it is.'_

' _It's sick.' I screamed into the pillow, feeling the hot tears flood my cheeks._

' _Yeah it is.' His arms had encircled me then, as they had done countless times already._

' _I want this to all do away.'_

' _District twelve is always bad, everyone says it is because they all look so tired and gloomy… they haven't won in years.'_

' _Does that make it any better?'_

' _That's not what I'm saying Ay just stop hating yourself so much; you did what you had to, you lived.'_

' _Sometimes I wish I hadn't.'_

' _Don't say that!'_

' _I see it every time I close my eyes! I can't sleep without dreaming it!'_

' _Shh Ayda, please for me… I'm here and your safe.'_

 _His hand caught me under my chin, lifting my face so I was looking up into his eyes._

' _I hate it.'_

' _I hate it too… but please don't say that.'_

' _Why not?'_

' _Because…'_

 _His lips found mine, heating my own with his as they moved in sync together._

' _Because of that.'_

I open my eyes and look at Axel, so much has changed since then. I survived the victory tour just, and came home. I tried to forget; meaning I tried to shut him out. I didn't want to but I didn't want any trace of the memory. I break our kiss and gasp in a breath as he does the same.

'I've missed that…' I mumble.

'I've missed that too.' He says with a goofy grin.

I busy myself with the tea, pouring it into the cups and adding milk and sugar. I hand him one, and walk over to the stove.

'Eggs?' I ask holding up the pan.

'Sure.'

'So what do you mean by prep? Emotional? Or physical?'

'How about we start at both?'

'I can live with that.' I say taking a sip of my tea.

'I hear Mags is doing better…'

'Yeah somewhat so, her speech is gone really; she's coming with us to the capital but more as moral support than anything else. I can't even walk past the school; every time I see a kid all I can think is whether or not it will be them…'

'Hey this isn't your fault… it's the capital.'

'I know…' I say scraping at the eggs. 'Grab some plates from up there.' I say pointing. I flip the eggs onto the plates and we eat in companionable silence.

'So beauty base zero?'

'If we must!' I laugh taking one last sip of my tea.

Prep takes just over an hour, and now I look at myself in the mirror. I look someone strong, someone who is as rich as me; I look like a part of the capital and despite myself I can't help but smile because it's all so very me. my hair is an abundance braids, tightly woven so that only thin artistically placed curls fall away, it makes me looks so almost regal and tall. The make-up hides the darkness under my eyes and makes them wide, emphasising the green. But what I love most is the fabric, the playsuit is tightly fitted to me, a soft satin that is so smooth to touch. The spaghetti straps hang on my tan shoulders, making the deep blue all the more gorgeous; even the colourful beading catches the light and shines.

'So?' Axel asks from behind me, twirling one of my curls around his finger.

'Perfect.' I say simply turning in his arms, and placing my lips to his like it's the most natural thing in the world. He breaks the kiss, looking down at my through his fan of lashes.

'What?' I ask, feeling colour flood me cheeks.

'I had one more thing but…'

'But what?'

'I don't know whether I was wrong.'

'Ask me.' I say, feeling more confident than I have in months despite the butterflies flipping in my stomach. Instead of speaking he unzips the smaller of the bags he brought with him, inside he lifts out a couple of shirts and a jacket before pulling out a simple grey box- one that looks almost industrial.

'What's that?' He clicks open the latches, inside protected by sponge is a weird metal contraption, small in shape and weirdly rectangular.

'A piercing gun.'

'Huh?' My piercing had been done with a gun, but it looked nothing like that.

'For your nose.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah I know bad idea…' He shuts the lid on the box and fastens one of the latches before I place my hand on his stopping his movement.

'Do it.' I say softly.

'You sure?' His voice is nervous.

'Yes please.' I say. I watch as he takes the gun from the box and with expert hands assembles it with a nose ring and positions it in and around my nostril.

'You sure.'

'Positive.' The pain is peculiar, its sharp but over as quick as an electric shock.

'Ta-da.'

I look in the mirror and stand, I look better than I have since my games and it's all at the hands of Axel.

'Thank you.'

'No need.' He murmurs kissing me again. I look over at the clock.

'Crap!' I hiss.

'What?' He asks in alarm. My stomach has begun flipping, spinning making me want to puke… my chest constricts.

'Ayda you can do this!' He says taking my hand leading me down the stair of my home.


	2. Chapter 2

I stand with bated breath near the edge of the stage, watching with a sickened stomach as all the kids stand together; dressed in their best…what sickens me even more is that I see my friends standing in the pens... It wasn't so long ago that was me, the reaping was a major stigma of anxiety- making me a nervous wreck for weeks before.

 _The morning of my reaping dawned a clear sky, almost as blue as the sea. I woke early, earlier than my mother and father. I'd crept out of the house and made my way down to the sea, stripping down and submerging in the water I swam out, into the morning sunrise. The water was cool against my skin, and washed away my fears. I'd only came to shore when the sun was firmly above the horizon._

 _My mother had helped me dress; in a tight jumpsuit she'd made; whilst she did a fish plait in my hair. With knocking knees my parents had walked me to the justice building, my mother leaving me to sign in with a half-smile and my father a quick grin and a squeeze on my shoulder. I'd stood with the others I knew the majority by sight; we didn't smile at each other but stood with a look of determination etched on our faces. I wrung my hands together, my knuckles going white under the strain, as I bit my lip._

'Okay Ayda?' Finnick purrs behind me. I jump in surprise.

'Yeah…' I sigh.

'Never gets any easier sugar you just got to learn to accept it.'

'How?' I ask.

'I still don't know.' The purr is all gone from Finnick's voice, I turn and look at him.

'How many years you been doing this?'

'Six and you're the only one I've brought home.' His voice is soft. The silence is like a piece of string between us that only gets longer the more we pull at it. 'Be strong Ay.'

'I'll try.' I say turning back to watch the inflow of potential tributes.

'Ayda my darling!' The voice is so high pitched, but so full of joy I can't help but smile.

'Kizzy!' I laugh, air kissing her back as she pulls me into an over dramatic hug.

'You look fabulous darling, my little victor! I've missed you!'

'I've missed you too Kizzy, how I got anywhere on time I'll never know!' I laugh.

'My cheeky victor! So your my new mentor?'

'Yeah.'

'You'll be fine, and if you need anything just ask my darling- but we must have tea on the train because my dear you're already a hot-topic in the capital!'

'I'm what?'

'Oh yes darling everyone is itching for you to come back, your young…your fresh what's not to love? Now where's Axel? I know he's here only he could do that with satin!'

'Somewhere by the train I think…' I mumble.

'Oh well then we must all have tea once I'm finished up here.'

'Sure…sure.' I say with a wave, as she wanders up the stairs onto the stage area outside the justice building. I feel my stomach churn; her easy dismissal of the reaping sickens me- the ability to rejoice in an event of murder…

'Not the time Ayda.' I murmur under my breath, as the microphone on stage clicks on and Kizzy's breathy voice echoes into our little district.

'Welcome, welcome to the reaping of the 74th annual _Hunger Games_! Now before we begin I have a video for you all that's made its way all the way from the capital- oh yes!' Her voice cuts out as the video begins the same one we have been subjected to for many years, a monologue about the dramas of the rebellion and how The Hunger Games are the most crucial part of our system, I listen with only half interest as my eyes rake over the pen of girls all standing watching the screen with wide eyes and my only thought is _who am I going to have to try and bring home?_

The video ends, and Kizzy lets out a childish giggle bringing all eyes back to her.

'So now District Four it's time to pick the two tributes who will represent District Four at this year's hunger games. They will have the honour of showing the capital and all of Panem the strength and courage I know you possess. So without further ado let's begin, Let's start with the girls…' I hear Kizzy's heels click against the stone floor, as I watch her make her way to the giant glass ball with her finger tips she pinches the top slip of paper and strolls back to the microphone.

'The female tribute from District Four is… Marina Lee!' There is an audible gasp from the audience as multiple children take a deep breath of relief. From somewhere in the middle of the pen a lone body move like a fish through water into the centre, she has brown hair and a slight build. She climbs the stairs slowly, from my vantage point I see her lips move and her eyes shut as she draws breath. Kizzy grabs her hand as she reaches the top and almost drags her to the centre of the stage.

'A round of applause for our female tribute.' The applause lasts about two heartbeats before it is only Kizzy's polite applause echoing into the microphone, with a little cough Kizzy smiles at the crowd. 'And now the boys…' Again her heels click off the stone flooring.

'The male tribute for District Four is…Hugo Spit.' The words aren't even out of Kizzy's mouth when I hear the scream, it's animal like. From the very front of the male pen a young boy makes his way out; a frizz of brown hair and so tiny in build. He is 12. He is tiny and more than likely defenceless, I feel tears build in my eyes as I watch him walk up the stairs.

'Oh fuck.' I hear Finnick breathe behind me. I can only nod. Again there is polite applause for the boy and then they shake hands, I feel I am not the only one who notices just how dwarfed the boy is.

'He won't make it in the careers.' I blurt out.

'Probably not, the best thing for him is to hide.'

'Like me.'

'No you actually killed people, I mean he should just hide until the end.'

'If they'll let him.'

I don't need to explain who _they_ are, Finnick just nods his head stiffly.

'Come on, we need to get to the train.'

'Already?' I ask, looking at my watch and noting the premature time.

'Yeah now, the crowds are waiting.'

'Oh goody!' I say, as my stomach flips dangerously.

The ride to the train is uncomfortable at best, the last time I rode in a car was coming back from the Victory tour, I have not been near the train station since. The closer we get the more my breath hitches in my throat, and a thin layer of sweat beads on my neck. I raise my hand to my face and touch the newly placed nose hoop.

'Didn't take you for the type.' Finnick murmurs, his head turned to look out of the window.

'Didn't think I'd win this either, so people change.' I say shrugging back.

'They'll love it.'

'I didn't do it for them.'

'I know that.' He says softly, grabbing my hand in his. 'Be brave Ayda.'

'I'll try.'

'I know you will.'

I step out the car and there is no room; the station is filled with people, cameras, shouts- its claustrophobic. I worm my way through to the free space in front of the train doors.

'Ayda!'

'Ayda!'

I don't turn I walk straight onto the train, keeping my head held high and my shoulders straight just like Kizzy taught me.

'Not a fan?' Finnick laughs.

'You could say that.'

'That's nothing compared to where we're going.'

I shudder in anticipation of the horror.

'Yep.' He says as he wanders into the lounge cart of the train and exits through another door. I wander through the train, asking one of the servers where I would find my room. He takes me through the cars till we reach a door he indicates as my own- with its heavily decorated 'A' embossed onto the steel. Inside the room is like the one I had in the training centre: a large plush bed, a mountain of pillows, a wardrobe and dresser I know are filled with clothes and as I open the adjoining door I spy a shower and bath suite- although I will admit this is one of the only things I've missed from the capital. The bath suite I have at my home in victors village is great but these are just a little slither of heaven… in bathroom form.

I stand in front of my bed, and slowly trace my hand over the thick fur comforter. The room is pleasantly warm, and with the expensive furnishing proof of my victory. I turn in a circle, feeling a weird sensation in my stomach.

'It's time.' I hear Finnick say behind me, I turn and there he stands- I don't know how long he has been watching me but from his expression it looks as if he knows and relates to me pain.

'Okay.' I say and make me way out of my room, following Finnick down the plush corridor. 'So is Mags already on board?'

'Yeah, she's been here since this morning…I've just spoken to her and she's having a brilliant time.' I laugh at Finnick's expression, to which he smirks back. It's as we smile at one and other I hear Kizzy's high pitched laugh echo through the carriage. With one last shared smile, Finnick leads the way, until I can here every word of Kizzy's breathy speech.

'So this is lounge cart, through there is the dining one…and oh there they are…' I look up at Kizzy, to see her wide smile, and her beckoning hand.

'These are your mentors Finnick and Ayda, winners of the 65th and 72nd Hunger games.' Kizzy's voice is full of reverence, as she smiles adoringly at us. I was Kizzy's first year as escort and in winning the games I was her ticket to many high end parties, something I don't believe she has forgotten.

'Hi I'm Finnick!' As bright as he sounds, Finnick's smile is forced and slightly manic.

'So hey that makes me Ayda…' I say lamely trying to make a joke, Finnick laughs softly with Kizzy giggles stretching over to ruffle my hair.

Marina all but ignores us, her eyes are darting from one corner of the train to the other; even being a richer district the extravagance of the Capital is still beyond the imagination. Hugo on the other hand is looking no-where but at the pair of us. His eyes flicking between us, as if we are an animate cartoon.

'Hey.' Finnick says softly stretching out his hand to Hugo, who shakes Odair's hand with his tiny one. 'Ready to work hard?' Finnick asks, as I watch Marina wander into the cabin and trail her hand over one of the chairs; letting her finger tips glide over the fabric.

'Ay?' I turn back to Finnick.

'Yeah?' I asked forcing a smile.

'We've just been laughing at Kizzy's new hair…'

'Oh God I know! Should of seen it on my year…' I shudder making Hugo and Finnick laugh.

'Was that the living flower piece?'

'Oh yeah… I couldn't look at anything but that…'

'She's weird.' Hugo says softly.

'Weird but that's the Capital….'

'Just follow our lead… so tea? Cake? Chocolate… lets have some chocolate as well.' I say moving over to the seating area. I notice fondly that Hugo takes a seat next to me, whilst Finnick has the pleasure of sitting next to Marina who is still glassy eyed, taking in the furniture and her surroundings.

'You were amazing; you know?' Everything about Hugo, screams youth even his voice.

'No I wasn't…' I say taking a sip of my tea, tasting nothing but glad for the moisture as my mouth is as dry as bone all of a sudden.

'Yeah you were, you were fierce… you weren't even a career!'

I take my chance, knowing that me and Finnick know his chances of making the careers are slim to none.

'You don't have to be one! They're arrogant and that's how I got them out…'

'You were so clever! You took out four of them- in one go! I could never do that.'

'Hey don't say that, I went in there with such bad odds but I won… I didn't even know how to wield a knife or anything properly I never paid attention back home but I learnt in the training centre and weirdly when you're in there…when you're in there you either learn or die and you learn Hugo.'

'Where is this cake?' Finnick says looking over his shoulder, just as the door opens permitting a server with a large cake in each hand.

'Cake? Cake isn't going to make this better!' Marina spits.

'Marina…' Finnick warns.

'No listen to me, only one of us can get out of here alive; just one of us… and that's out of twenty-four! Who you going to sacrifice to bring one of us home, cause only one of us even has a chance of being able to come home!

'It isn't like that…' Finnick begins, I raise my hand to stop Finnick.

'Do you really think it doesn't sicken me, knowing I have to take you to an arena? Do you really think that we wouldn't take your places if we could? I don't want to be here, and I certainly don't want to do this but we have to! So now I'm here to do everything I can to help you, use everything at my disposal to bring someone home but you have to play fair; we're all survivors and me and Finnick we're victors we have actually won this so we are here to help you… we want to bring someone home.' The words flow out my mouth.

'I have no chance.' Hugo murmurs from beside me. I look across to Finnick, to see him watching Hugo with a sad look in his eyes.

'I won…and I was young…Ayda was fifteen…don't count yourself out just yet.'

'Why didn't someone volunteer for him?' I hear Marina say, I don't look up from my tea; the silence stretches on.

'I have no brothers or sisters…' Hugo says softly. 'I don't really know anyone older…' And that's the cruxes of the games, a twelve year can be reaped and no one will volunteer to take their place even though it's like giving them a death warrant.

'It's done now; we just have to work with it.'

I hand out the cake, cutting it myself for something to do. I give both of my tributes large chunks of both cakes, hoping to at least fatten them up before the games begin. I hand Finnick his slice to see him still staring at Hugo.

'Well, well well we'll be at the Capital in just under two days; they are marvellous these things; but until then this train is yours, use anything, eat anything, and enjoy it even if it's just for this little while.' It's the first time I've honestly wanted to harm Kizzy, her words are like she's already writing their death certificates.

'Anyway…' I say breaking the silence. 'How about you both go and change before lunch, they'll show you to your rooms…' I say indicating the two servers. Both follow my instructions and make their way out of the room.

There is silence. Unbroken silence for many moments.

'You handled that well.' Finnick say, his voice slightly rough.

'Did I?' I breathe.

'Yes, especially her.'

'She's scared that's all, some cry but others vent out their fear.'

'Although I don't think you want to hear this, you're doing a really good job.'

'Hugo…' I murmur.

'I know.'

'What are we going to do?'

'Technically it's what am I going to do?'

'Huh?'

'You mentor the girl; I mentor the boy…'

'Nope not going to happen, we're a team.'

'We have to bring one of them back…' I say quietly after a couple of minutes.

'I've said the same thing to Mags every year and out of 6 I've only succeeded once and that was down to her.'

'We can do it; I can't face coming home with two wooden boxes.'

The door opens behind me, I turn and smile in comes Mags, smiling motheringly at us both; gesturing to the left over cake and tea.

'Somethings never change!' I murmur as I laugh with Finnick. I cut off a bit of each cake, and pour mags a cup of sweet tea which I place on the table in front of the chair she takes next to Finnick.

'Soo?' She mumbles around a mouthful of cake. The stroke damaged her speech making it somewhat garbled but after as long I can understand the majority of her rambles.

'She did good.' Finnick says before I can begin. 'Really good, they both trust us… she especially her.'

'That might be stretching the truth.'

'No its not Ay.' Finnick says as Mags stretched over and gently rubs my knee. 'She trusts you, so just maybe we can pull her through.'

'We have the girl she's sixteen and I think she has potential but the boy…' I cough and clear my throat. 'The boy is twelve and tiny and adorable…'

'And what Ayda isn't saying is that he has no chance unless we can spin something before he gets into the arena.'

'I can't send him in there to be slaughtered.' I say taking a sip of my tea.

'No we can't.


	3. Chapter 3

I've been in my room a while now, not moving from the doorway. All I can see is Hugo, I know I should feel something for Marina to but that little boy is too soft…too gentle to be put into this. I shake my head, and wander into the bathroom; standing in front of the full length mirror I look closely at my reflection. My too wide eyes, the Capital look in my clothes and face. I raise my hands to my hair and feel for the pins holding my hair in place I remove them one by one, with each pin I remove I feel a little bit more like me. My hair is before long a wavy curtain around my shoulders, I strip out of my jump suit and step out of my underwear; I program the shower to the most relaxing motion I can remember and step in, letting the hot water relax my tense muscles… for so very long I stand letting the water cascade around me. I find the shampoo and wash my hair with slow, rhythmic motions. When I step out of the shower, and the dryer dries both my skin and my hair- I go in search of clothes. The wardrobe is full of outfits, I recognise the designs of Axel in the stitching and delicate way they each represent me. I choose a tight pant and shirt assemblement, the pants tight and black whilst the shirt is thick and cream covered in flocked black flowers. I find myself stroking the sleeve as I push my feet into a pair of matching black loafers that are somehow already moulded to my feet.

'You like?' His voice shocks me, I turn and he stands in my doorway neither in or out of my room.

'I love.' I say simply.

'I heard you did good today?' The statement is a question, a question of how I'm really doing.

'He's so little.' I say bluntly, I don't even pause I just walk straight into Axel's open arms feeling the safety I yearn for.

'I saw him earlier, he's….'

'Too young!' I yell into his chest. 'Not that she isn't but look at him…he's a child still.' And I feel the hot tears cascade down my cheeks, feel the damp fabric of his shirt.

'Hey, don't cry Ay.'

'I can't save him! I want to help him but they are all so much bigger and…'

'You'll try your very best Ay, and that's all you can do.'

'I can't let them both down, one of them has to come home.'

'I know and you'll do everything to make sure one of them wins.'

'You coming through for dinner?' I ask looking up.

'As much as I wish I could, I have to wait and meet Marina tomorrow afternoon in the Capital…'

'Oh right…' I mumble.

'But I'll see you later tonight when they're sleeping, okay?'

'Always…' I breathe.

Dinner is a quiet affair; the first two courses have been served in almost near silence with only Kizzy's attempts of conversation. I've played with my food mostly only eating maybe a few mouthfuls.

'Oh pudding!' Kizzy chimes. 'I thought we'd have a montage of desserts since we've already had cake.' The puddings look fantastic, miniatures of crème brulee, chocolate mousse, macaroons and cheese-cake. I crack the top of my crème brulee and dig in, I moan in delight of the dessert.

'Yes, yes I hoped you still liked it; after all its been a big, big day!'

'You remembered?'

 _On the way back from my games I sat in gloom in my room, not even Axel was able to pull me from my state of near depression. Kizzy was beside herself at the thought of her first victor being not quite well. It was Saturday afternoon and the train was going past an array of fields when she'd came into my room holding a plate and a spoon._

' _My little victor.' She whispered as she sat on the edge of my bed, I hadn't replied._

' _Don't be sad sweetheart, your going home…' I looked at her, looked into those clear eyes and saw something that had broken a piece of me and I'd cried, sobbed about what I had done. Kizzy held me as I sobbed and sobbed; handing me her silk tissue to mop up my face._

' _Be brave.' She murmured and she handed me the plate… a plate of crème brulee…it has since and always from that day my favourite dessert because in that moment it was my strand of hope._

'Yes of course! Not likely I forget about my only little victor is it?' I smile fondly at Kizzy and take another bite of my favourite dessert.

And this is why I can't stay mad at Kizzy because she's so kind and lovely; she has been conditioned by the capital about the games and that's that; it isn't her fault.

'This is amazing!' Marina says loudly.

'Oh yes Macaroons are fabulous!' Kizzy chirps.

'I think this is amazing!' Hugo says showing a spoonful of chocolate mousse before popping it in his mouth.

'Well anything with sugar is amazing really!' Finnick laughs, stuffing a whole macaroon in his mouth.

'Manners Finnick!' Kizzy laughs loudly.

'Yes Fin.' Mags says softly, her words only slightly slurred; Finnick shaking his head opens his mouth stuffing in a spoonful of chocolate mousse- making me laugh.

'Disgusting…' Mag's chortles.

'Anyways…' I say as I sit back in my chair at the table. 'Do you want to watch the reaping?' Silence descends over the table as a whole; Hugo looks down at his empty pudding dish whilst Marina looks up at me.

'Should we?' Her voice is strong, but I see the overly full look in her eyes.

'I would…that doesn't mean you should.'

'I did too, it gives you an idea of the competition.' Finnick says.

'Hmm…' Mags says nodding her head.

'I will.' Hugo says, still not looking up from his pudding.

'So will I.' Marina says quickly.

'Okay…well they start in ten so why don't we leave these to clear the table and we'll go into the lounge.'

The lounge is an overly stuffed room that has a huge TV, and a couple of large couches and mounds of cushions. I find myself between Marina and Hugo- I gasp as Marina takes my hand in hers as the opening credits begin on the screen.

Its shocking, and nauseating watching those on screen; at my own games I thought only of me and the fear but looking at all the tributes is sickening.

District one: Glimmer and Marvel. Both are beautiful in a purely egotistical way but they both look pretty eager… the fact they both volunteered doesn't help.

District two produce two deathly looking tributes: Cato and Clove. Cato looks like a band of muscle and Clove has something in her eyes as she smiles on screen that screams at me that she isn't to be trusted.

District three: Not very memorable, a young thin girl and an even younger boy… sadly for them they don't really pose a threat.

Us: Marina looks strong; the commentator even says so; but Hugo…

District five: Two moderately intelligent looking kids, something about the girl makes me question if she's as weak as she appears.

District six: Older and mature but both cried on stage.

District seven: Boy looks strong willed, girl a weeping mess.

District eight: Young and unremarkable.

District nine: Tiny, young… no threat.

District 10: Boy strong, powerful; girl sweet…

District 11: Girl too young! Another baby like Hugo, sweet and seemingly defenceless: boy- a fighter, strong, powerful- a definite threat.

District 12: A surprising volunteer…so very sad volunteered to save her sister... determined; boy small, possibly weak… no threat.

My internal monologue sickens me, but the thoughts seem to come to my head of their own accord. Only a few stand out to me, only a few stick in my head the little girl from 11 certainly but the girl from 12… I can't stop thinking about the courage because she must know she has no chance of coming back. Its only as the names of the tributes come on the screen to signal the end of the show that I think how barbaric it is that I will have 23 of these children die just so I can bring one home…

'Wow…' Marina breaths, not letting go of my hand. 'So technically we can be careers?' Her voice is soft and light.

'Yes… you've had the training… show them what you can do and yeah you could; one and two always mould together, and most of the time four.'

'But remember it's an alliance you have to break, me and Mags were both careers so we'll talk about this tomorrow when she's up too.'

'Yeah Finnick's right, having both of them might be better at explaining how to deal with that; the only problem is the careers can be arrogant and self-centred which means they think their invincible.'

'Keep your wits kid that's all we're saying.'

'Yeah…and don't think you have too; it's not always the safest option. Anyways its late and we have tomorrow morning on the train so how about we call it a night and I'll see you both early tomorrow and we'll strategize, okay?'

'Yep.' I give Marina's hand a squeeze and let go. Pushing myself up from the couch. 'Hugo, bed?'

'Yeah.'

'Right then off you hop, night.' I call as they disappear further into the train. Its only when they're totally out of sight I let myself sink to the floor, pressing my back to the wall.

'Strong bunch this year.' Finnick remarks. I just nod. I can't help but think that we don't have a chance at bringing someone home.

'Hey.' His voice is low, I look up and Axel is in the doorway. 'I heard the kids go past.'

'Yeah, early night for them; gives us a chance to think.'

I hear the couch move as Axel sits down, as I press my head harder against my knees trying to focus on something else.

'I watched the reaping, strong lot this year- especially one and two.'

'Tell me about it, two's boy…'

'A couple of surprises too, eleven's boy and twelve the volunteer…'

'The capital will be going crazy over her.'

'This is going to be an interesting year, I just have to make sure they look good at the chariot parade… Misty and I have been working really hard- they are going to look sensational.'

'How are we going to win this?' I say, looking up from my knees- there is silence for a few too many seconds. Until Finnick leans forward resting his forearms on his thighs.

'You forget who we are?'

'What victors?'

'Yeah we're victors but I'm the current _Capital charmer_ and you they all want a piece of you…'

'So what you saying?'

'Ay…He's saying that you're going to have to use this too your advantage...'

'What so pretend that I love all the attention because I _killed_ people.'

'No Ayda what I'm actually saying is you're going to really love it because it's a lifeline so you can safe one these kids' lives.'

'He's right Ay, the Capital already love you- they missed you last year…'

'So this could help get sponsors?'

'Yes most definitely, last year I got our guy medicine for a leg wound even though they knew he wouldn't win- they remember us and love us and if you work it to your advantage…'

'We can play them.' I murmur.

'Yes.'

'Okay then…'

'Right I'm going to bed, I'll check on Mags- looks like I'll see you bright and early.'

'Bright and early it is.' Finnick walks out of the lounge, leaving just me and Axel and I feel the stress of the day just fall on me.

'I can't be what they want me to be.' I murmur.

'Just be you… that's who they love…'

'I want help my tributes but this isn't like I thought it would be.'

'How do you mean?'

'Marina held my hand on the couch, that strong shouty girl wanted comfort; and Hugo every time I look at him I hear his mothers' scream.'

'You've bonded.'

'I know them already and I know the best scenario I can hope for is only one of them dead…'

'It's sick.' He whispers.

I look directly at Axel, see the frown line in his brow- see the undone top button on his shirt- see the pain etched in his face.

'For seventy-four years they've done this…'

'Oh I know the tribute count is somewhere in the thousands…'

'And I'm one of the _victors…_ '

'You're a survivor Ayda, I always knew so.'

'Even when I didn't…'

'When you killed in the games…'

'Don't.' I breathe.

'No listen, when you killed in the games you saved me- I fell in love with you the moment I saw you…letting you go into the arena killed me. I watched that screen all day and all night, the whole time you were in there… every time you killed someone I knew I was one step closer to having you back to me…'

'Axel…'

'Ayda I'm so very much in love with you, I always have been this last year has been Hell for me- I know you were trying to look after yourself but I need you Ay…I can't be without you…'

'Axel I'm a mess, you don't want someone like me…'

'Yes I do.' He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before opening them wide. 'The only thing that has kept me sane this last year is that I would get to see you now, I've been counting down the days…'

'Don't…'

'I have, and I'm not letting you go again…' I don't see him move but he's before me on the floor kneeling so we're knee to knee; he reaches for my hand threading his fingers through mine. 'I love you Ayda.' I feel tears prick in my eyes, and a feeling as beautiful and as delicate as soap bubble rise inside of me. I lean forward and press my lips against his.

'I love you too.' I say with my lips still pressed against his. I don't know who moves first but we're soon a mingle of lips and limbs and it's in this instant I know it's always been Axel since the very first moment he spoke my name.

My eyes flutter open as an odd ray of morning sunlight streams through the window and Finnick shouts through my door.

'Up! It a _big, big day_!' He shouts in a perfect impersonation of Kizzy's breathy voice.

'Yeah, I'll five minutes!' I shout back, as I turn in my bed to face Axel.

'He has no idea I'm in here does he?'

'Nope!' I laugh popping the 'p'.

'Well you better get up, cause it's a big, big day!' He snorts.

'Shut up!' I laugh throwing a pillow at him, as he pulls me down for a long kiss.

I rise from the bed, only to realise I'm stark naked.

'Hey I could get used to this view!' He laughs making me blush scarlet, as I fumble in my draws for some underwear which I hastily put on.

'Ha-ha.' I laugh sarcastically.

'I'm not laughing Ay; I want to get used to this.' I can't help but smile as i open my wardrobe. 'Hey throw something on, I have an outfit in the back car for your arrival.'

'Huh?'

'Your popular which means cameras, adoring fans… the works.'

'Great…' I mumble as I pull on a pair of cord pants and a linen shirt. 'Hey maybe you should sneak back to your room…'

'I'm going, great mind think alike…' He says as he pulls on his pants from last night and the shirt. I notice he leaves his socks and shoes off. 'I love you Ayda.' He says kissing me softly.

'Right back at you.' I say as he leaves, the door closing softly behind him. I pull on my shoes and exit my compartment, last night was amazing; more amazing than I ever could have imagined.

'Oh here she is.' Finnick says as I wander into the dining cart.

'Morning!' I say brightly, as I tie my hair back with a hair tie. 'What have I missed?'

'Nothing really, Marina would really like to join the career pack if she can; whilst we're thinking for Hugo we should focus more purely on survival skill- your thoughts?'

'Both great- as long as A.' I say looking at Marina. 'Your happy to know it's only a short term alliance and you don't make friends with them- you have to be ready to kill them and B.' I say turning my attention to Hugo. 'That you're ready to learn, you're ready to push yourself.' My words are met with nods, even Finnick nods with a smile on his face.

'Toast Ayda?' Marina asks.

'Yeah sure, pass the butter Finnick.'

And breakfast continues this way, I have tea and toast then a couple of biscuits that are some of Finnick's favourites. The talk at the breakfast table is tactical, and is a mixture of both fight and survival skills. It doesn't miss my attention that Hugo seems to find interest in the food whenever talk of fight begins.

'Okay so…' I say as conversation dies down. 'Tonight is the chariot parade, when we get to the capital you'll be taking by a prep team who'll make you _presentable_ and then you'll meet your stylist- don't complain just do as they say and we'll see you possibly before the parade.'

'What they going to do, to make us presentable?' Marina asks.

'Waxing, sort your hair out, scrub you down… we should be fine at least we're well-groomed think about the poorer districts!' I say making a face and making them laugh.

'You going to get ready?' Finnick asks.

'Yeah, got to look good for the cameras.' I laugh, as I walk out the breakfast cart and back into my compartment.

'Your late!' Axel murmurs from my dressing table, I jump in surprise and laugh.

'Oops…'

'Just sit down…' He playfully reprimands.

I sit dutifully and close my eyes as Axel's hands find my hair and I feel the soft padded brush work its way down each strand. The comfortable silence makes me sleepy and as Axel works at beautifying me for the audience I drift into somewhere not quite sleep.

'Wake-up sleepy head!' I hear from somewhere not very far off, I raise my hands to my face but… 'Don't smudge my work!'

'Sorry!' I say yawning widely.

'Don't worry I'm tired too…' He laughs throwing a wink at me, I laugh and take a look in the dressing table mirror.

'Wow.' I murmur.

'Thought you'd want to make an impression.'

'It certainly does that.' My eyes are outlined in something almost smoke like, my lashes are long and serve the purpose of framing my eyes- making them look even more vividly green. My hair is beautiful. The braids are tight and intricately woven, working down into two buns on my crown. The rest is curled and artfully place down my back.

'All the range in the capital.' He says pointing to the two buns.

'I didn't doubt it.' I touch the back of his hand in thanks, as he strokes the side of my cheek softly careful for the makeup.

'And now… I hope you like it.' He walks away over to my wardrobe and pulls out a plain dress bag that wasn't there this morning. 'Okay it's a little out there but they'll love it.' Slowly he undoes the zipper of the bag, revealing a beautiful cord dress, its only as he unzips the zipper fully I realise how short it is. My face must say it all.

'I know, but trust me.'

'You're lucky I do.'

Axel helps me dress, and once it's on its tight enough that as long as I'm careful I won't be unfortunate enough to show anything I shouldn't. The black cord similar to the shirt I wore yesterday is covered in cream flocked flowers.

'Put these on.' He says as he throws something at me.

'Thigh highs?'

'A little bit like tights.'

I find them clingy and a battle to get on but once they are in place I realise the top cuff of the thigh high is the same flocked flowers as my dress and somehow make everything look even more amazing.

'They are beautiful…' I murmur.

'You don't realise how long it took me to make them!' Axel laughs.

'They're worth it!' I grin.

'Shoes!' He chimes, holding up a pair of what look like boots.

'Sure.' I say taking one and sitting back in my chair. Its only as I put my foot in that I realise there is no front to my boot just an abundance of laces and a very chunky heel!

'Oh god I'm going to fall over!'

'Have faith in me darling, they're made just for you!' He kneels in front of me taking my _booted_ foot in his hands and starts pulling at the laces making some tighter and some looser until all the laces are secured and the spare is hidden away- he repeats the process on the other foot before reaching out a hand to me which I take.

'Ta-da!' He breathes in my ear and moves over so I can see myself in the full length mirror. The creature standing before me is worthy of the capital, every part of me looks like their creature; except for the subtle touches Axel has made which make them mine.

'It's beautiful.'

'Yes you are.' He says, kissing my softly.

'It's time.' I murmur.

'You're ready.' I give him one last peck on the lips and walk out my compartment, finding everyone in the dining cart.

'Look at you!' Finnick purrs playfully.

'Shut up!' I laugh.

'Oh Ayda you look fabulous Darling!' Kizzy smiles.

'Thanks.'

'Right it's me, the tributes then give it a moment and you three follow- Ayda go last…your who they want to see.'

'Goody.'

The train slows almost instantaneously and after only a few seconds the door unlocks with a huff of compressed air.

'Show time.' Finnick murmurs.

My heart is running a marathon in my chest, the bubbling nausea is in my throat and sweat is building up at my neck.

'Be brave Ayda.' I whisper under my breath.

The tributes follow a smiling Kizzy off the train as the shouts and screams begin from above and the few lucky Capital folk get to cry and snap photos at the tributes.

'Now.' Mags mumbles, walking confidently but slowly with her cane off the train. Her head is high and her shoulders straight. I take a very deep breath. Finnick flows behind her, throwing me a wink over his shoulder he struts off the train his tight jeans and skin tight t-shirt leaving nothing to the imagination of his feverous admires in the capital. I take one more breath and put one foot in front of the other stepping off the train. I'm almost deafened by the roar that meets me; a chaotic rumble of my name spoken over and over again from above.

'It's Ayda!'

'Ayda!'

I look to my right to see a throng of capital residents sectioned off to leave a pathway for us to exit off.

'Your back?' A man with a corkscrew moustache asks.

'Yes, I'm home.' I say sweetly, only making the cheers louder as I realise my voice is magnified over hidden speakers.

I look over to Finnick and see him smiling at Mags.

'We're all home.' Finnick adds. 'You're our family.' He says as Mags nods along in agreement; the shouts from above are deafening; as I walk forward to stand with Finnick next to the car. I turn at his touch on my shoulder to see a camera, I smile and wave at the audience- with a false eagerness I smile and wave above me where a mass of people stand watching.

'That was quite a show.' Finnick laughs as we sit back in the car.

'Likewise Mr Odair.'

'Well we never left our games, did we?' He murmurs softly, so only myself and Mags can hear.

I let out a deep breath, knowing that's the real issue here.


	4. Chapter 4

'I'd forgotten how pretty this place was.' I murmur to Finnick, I stare out of the car window.

'I know, right? Annie loves the colours but she can't bring herself to come back.'

'You wouldn't think this type of beauty could be capable of all this...'

Finnick moves uncomfortably in his seat and coughs to clear his throat.

'Sorry.' I mumble, realising I've crossed some invisible line; I see Mags' hand snake over to grab Finnick's in her bird like grip.

'Don't apologise…it just hits home…'

'What have I missed?' I ask, knowing I'm missing something.

'Nothing darling.' Mags says softly.

'Don't lie to her Mags… she's with us now she'll find out.'

'Find out what?'

'Not now, when we alone.'

'Okay…'

'Let's just say that I know better than most how horrible this place can be.' He whispers close to my ear. I nod, and go back to glancing out the window, the silence seems thick and tangible like a force bearing down on us.

'I never got a chance to thank you.' Finnick's voice shocks me in the silence. I turn expecting him to be talking to Mag's instead I see his green eyes on me.

'Thank me for what Finnick?'

'For not forcing Annie to be here.'

I hear Mags cough loudly and look at her in alarm; her eyes bear into mine as she gives a distinctive shake of her head. So Finnick doesn't know, doesn't know that Mags gave me that job- promised me it was for the best and painstakingly made me realise it was my job because no-one else could do it. She had told me Annie's story, how she wakes screaming in the night and how only Finnick can calm her; how even hearing the presidents voice sends her into a fit of hysteria…after all that I had no option but to agree and be the bigger, stronger person. I didn't just do it for Annie, I did it for Mags too; I didn't want to let her down.

'You don't have to thank me.'

'Yes I do, she was petrified you'd say no.'

'Mags made me realise I was part of this, I would never make her come here Finnick…'

'You know?' Finnick breathes.

'Not everything, I wouldn't make her come here.'

'Then I thank you even more.'

'Why?'

'For being so selfless, I know this isn't easy for you…'

'Hey it's the least I can do… you guys kept me alive.'

We lapse into silence for the rest of the trip, the only movement being Finnick taking my hand in his and giving it an affectionate squeeze which I return.

We stop in front of a big building, a brightly coloured one at that. I look questioningly at Finnick, as I was expecting us to be at the training centre.

'You didn't tell her?' Finnick shakes his head at Mags' grin. 'It's a meeting place for all the mentors for the districts.'

'Why?' I ask, curiosity spiking inside me.

'Because weirdly enough some of them are quite nice people!'

'So basically it's a room full of victors?'

'Yeah.' Mags says smiling.

'Lovely.' I say shooting them both a look, at which they just grin.

'Come-on Miss happy!' Finnick chimes as we climb out the car. I send him a glare which only makes him chuckle.

Okay, the inside of this place is over the top, and Capital-fied but on the other hand the array of food has set my stomach into action. I look across to Finnick and see him smile at me, as he sees my expression at the food.

'Oh I remember this!' I laugh to him, remembering the food I had sampled when I'd been in the Capital.

'It's pretty hard to forget Ay.' He says as I step through the doorway and find myself face to face with an Avox holding a tray of champagne flutes; I take the one he offers saying a meek thanks and a soft smile. I still can't bring myself to ignore them the way the Capital residents seem to.

'Ayda!' I look up to see Johanna Mason coming at me, a smile plastered on her face. When I had first met Johanna after just winning my games I was surprised with her and Finnick's friendship but something about her grew on me and now I think of her a friend.

'Johanna!' I say, embracing her back.

'Don't you look fabulous! Finally, your back and I'm not stuck with this lot!' She says indicating the room behind her, and the people milling around with their champagne.

'No your just stuck with me!' I laugh, to which Johanna bellows. Her laugh and everything about her is bold and unique to her beauty- even her whole look screams out of individuality; something about that makes her fierce and about the only other victor I trust in this place, that's not from home.

'Well you look fantastic, so I'll stick with you.' She says as she pulls up the top of her deeply cut shirt. 'Look at this my stylist sent! Who would even think this is good?'

I smile at Johanna. 'I'll have Axel bring you some stuff if you want.' I say.

'Axel?' Johanna laughs.

'Shut up and drink.' I take a long sip of my drink.

'Serious?'

'Something like that.' I mumble.

'Thank God, he's been pining after you for ages!'

'You knew?!'

'Obviously, he was like a love-sick puppy last year, when you weren't on the show!'

'Oh.'

'Suck it up princess that guy adores you.' I flush bright red. 'And obviously, you know that.'

'He came to four…' I mumble.

'You's are together, again aren't you?'

'Maybe…' I smile.

'Fuck maybe, that smile says you've sealed the deal!'

'Johanna!' I laugh loudly.

'Don't worry I'll keep your secret.' She says as she retrieves two fresh glasses of champagne from a passing Avox. Handing me the fresh glass I take a welcomed sip.

'Well before you start wanting details, let's start on the food!' I say good naturedly.

'It looks good.'

'More than good ladies!' Finnick says from behind us, around a mouthful of what looks like quiche. 'If I may?' He says extending an elbow to us both and directing us to the food tables.

My plate is almost overflowing with food: I have pastries, pies, something called pasta that has a rich sauce…and _pizza_ which basically is a bread crust topped with cheese and tomato.

'Oh this is good!' I moan around a bite of the pizza. Johanna laughs at my expression but obviously spurred on picks up her own slice.

'Mmm…' She murmurs in appreciation, taking another bite.

'I'm having more of that in the training centre.' Finnick says with a smile.

'You are? I am!'

'We all are!' Mags laughs, taking a bite.

I take a sip from my glass, sitting back in my chair utterly replenished. The whole scenario in this room is so weird and fabricated. We shouldn't be milling around and laughing when the reason we've been brought together is so barbaric. We're all killers. We have all killed. And yet here we sit and laugh as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

'Ay so what do you think?'

'About?'

'I knew you weren't listening! What do you think about trying to get the tributes to team up?'

'What four and Seven?'

'Yeah.'

'Will they?'

'What do you mean?' I look over at Finnick and vent my worries.

'Marina wont, but Hugo… your pair won't want him- he's a kid.'

'Jason is a good kid and Ivy… well I don't even think she knows what really going on.' Johanna's voice is free of any emotion, although I'm suspicious of her stutter at the end.

'Finnick it's your call.' I say passing the baton.

'You know she won't.' He asks.

'Without a doubt.' I reply taking a sip of my drink.

'Well Jo I'll give anything a try to keep this kid alive.'

'Right back at you.' I feel eyes on me and look up to see Mags watching me with her soft eyes- even without her words I know what she is asking me.

'She knows what she wants, and if I'm honest I couldn't ask them to team up… if I'm being one hundred percent truthful it would be like giving her a weak link- I don't think she'd be able to kill him.' I finish on a whisper.

'He's delicate.' Finnick says softly.

'Well I've got two sixteen year olds, who are _delicate_.' She slurs the word softly, as if its distasteful. 'Blight!' She shouts over her shoulder, making a tall man with strong features turn from his conversation with a tall thin man with chin length blonde hair.

'Haymitch!' Finnick shouts over to the man, who smiles and walks over with who I assume is Blight.

'Ayda this is Blight, and this is Haymitch…' Blight smiles and kisses my hand in a gesture I suppose is polite; whilst Haymitch looks at me for a few too many seconds in silence before leaning forward and shaking my hand.

'Haymitch is the mentor for both tributes from District Twelve…' Joanna adds.

'Oh…' I say shakily, now all the staring makes some sort of sense; I killed one of twelve's tributes, the boy…

 _Day six:_

 _Hidden in some undergrowth, next to the stream I didn't want to move the safety and sanctuary I'd found in the little creak was second to none probably the safest. I'd through fear alone retreated to the little hollow, I had berries and some strange fruit and along with the skinny fish- I was doing okay. Night had fallen when my eyes had flickered open at the sound of the anthem- the sky was filled with the image of the fallen from that day- there had been two: the boy from ten and Marsh…_

 _I'd without conscious thought screamed into my hands, emotions unchained- everything was so very much intensified in there. I'd heard something to the left of my hidey-hole before I'd fell asleep. A crunch of foot. Some breathing. Originally I thought it some animal, so I'd stayed hidden away I was totally out of sight but then my scream had awoken the would-be 'creature' and I heard feet; that were much too loud and solid to be an animal and by the sound I knew they were closer. I'd reached for my long knife, and the sharped stick that now looked somewhat like a lethal spear. I crawled to the opening that was hidden behind reeds; I took a single deep breath and threw myself out, on my feet within seconds. He was standing not even a metre in front of me, and he'd took a step… I'd heard it and I'd thrown the 'spear' with everything I had shutting my eyes tight. It was only when I opened them I noticed I'd speared his back and he was further away- I'd learnt then that he was running from me…_

 _The canon had shocked me; I'd ran to him but he was a shell. I 'd somehow pulled my wooden contraption out of him and hidden away in my hollow not wanting to see the body go._

 _He was my first kill._

'Yeah they seem strong.' Haymitch is saying in answer to something Finnick asked.

'We both commented on the volunteer, didn't we Ay?'

'Yeah, awful… awful…' I breathe standing suddenly, needing to escape. 'Just going to the bathroom.' I say to the surprised faces. The bathroom feels forever away; I can't get my feet to go quick enough. As soon as I see the doorway I almost sprint. I stand looking in the mirror: my eyes look far too bright, my breathing is erratic, and my heart is trying to escape my chest. I wet my hands under the tap, and dab some of the cool water against the back of my neck and the inside of my wrists trying to stimulate the calm.

'Ayda!' I hear Johanna's shout.

'Yeah?'

'Are you okay?'

'Sure.'

'You've been in there ages!'

'Sorry… make-up malfunction.' I stumble over the words.

'It's a crime, isn't it?' I hear her laugh.

'Totally! I'll be two minutes' tops.'

'Fine but hurry.'

I pinch my cheeks to add colour, and straighten my dress in the mirror; with a deep breath, I open the door and make my way over to the table they are still all crowded around.

'I thought you'd ran away!' Finnick laughs, although as he stretches over to hand me another glass he rubs his finger over my palm knowingly.

'You were very brave Ayda…'

'Huh?' I turn to Haymitch.

'Your games I mean; all alone and still you won.'

'She was something else.' Mags laughs.

'We weren't confident, my money was on Marsh.' Finnick says.

'Sweetheart you were fierce,' Haymitch murmurs sitting next to me. 'I know why you went away, but sweetheart if we hadn't killed we wouldn't be here… so I don't blame you I blame the Capital.'

'Me too.' I say softly.

Haymitch smiles widely at me, grabbing two cakes from a passing Avox. 'Then I think we could just be friends.'

I smile back feeling if not better, mollified.

The ride to the training centre isn't a long one, we drive for not even ten minutes when we arrive beside a huge building. The training centre is bigger than it was in my games.

'Impressive, isn't it?' Finnick says in disgust.

'People are starving…' I say out loud.

Our floor is the fourth level, and before I even step a toe over the threshold I already know its plush. The wooden floor, is smooth and a beautiful dark brown that reminds me of the earth. The pea green on the walls is hued down with the flamboyant touches of orange sprayed randomly on the furthest wall. Up to my left is a dining suite which I know in a few hours will be full with a flamboyant dinner. The living room and snuggle room follow suit; there is even an additional room full of comfortable chairs and a bookcase. My room is up a flight of stairs along with Finnick's; although both separate off and have a tiny flight before reaching a landing to the door. My room is huge and is a haven of luxury. My bed is ginormous, and a swath of throws, pillows and silky soft bed linen. The carpet is so very soft and I feel even in my heels my feet sink and relax. There is even a dressing table filled with all manner of products I could ever need for my stay- as I flick through them I spy an array of make-up and even something called _night-cream_ …

'Ayda, come on we need to go down now if we want to see them!' Finnick's shout has me moving towards the door faster than I would normally dare in these shoes; but just as Axel said the shoes are perfect for me and I could as easily be moving in my normal soft flats. I reach Finnick just as the doors of the elevator open.

'They should technically still be in make-up so I'll go Hugo, you go Marina.'

'Cool.' I say, as I press the button to chambers. I can barely feel the lift move but in only seconds the doors open with a soft hiss emitting us to sterile dressing chambers I remember too well from after the games- my breathing sticks in my throat.

'Hey, I get it.' Finnick says looking straight into my eyes. 'Breakdown later, kids now.'

'Yeah…be brave.' I murmur to myself and follow Finnick till we get to the end of the corridor in which it separates into two.

'Go down that one till you get to room four; I'll see you down there.' I nod and walk down the white corridor till I get to the door that has a metal four emblazed on it; I knock twice in quick succession and wait.

'Yes?' I hear Axel snap.

'It's me…' I shout back, its silent for a few seconds until the door clicks and opens.

'Hey!' Axel says grabbing my hand and pulling me into the room which is very much different from the hospital-look outside. The room is as bright as I remember it being in my training centre, when me and Axel had spoken for hours. I turn in a circle and laugh at the bright blues, purples and reds that almost make the room seem alight, it's as I turn I look at Marina standing on the raised platform dressed in what I can only describe as the sea.

'Wow look at you!' I enthuse. She smiles shyly and raises a shaking hand up to her face. 'You look stunning Marina!' I walk closer to her, and stop just a few steps away.

'I'm so nervous Ayda!'

'Hey none of that, you'll shine sweetheart.'

'Yeah don't doubt what I can do, just smile and wave and the crowd will be blown away by you.'

'He's right, I was super nervous but there is no need, you look sensational tonight that's all they care about.'

'What about the interviews?' Her voice shakes somewhat.

'I'll make sure your amazing and Axel will sure you look amazing; don't worry I've got you.' I say softly.

'Yeah and if all else fails just talk about home, how much you miss it …'

'Yeah moving on…' I say as I see tears prick in Marina's eyes. 'Just stand tall, shoulders back and smile and wave they love it.'

'The more you wave, the more they'll remember you.'

'Smile and Wave; that's the master plan?' Marina askes dumbstruck.

'For now yes.' I say smiling, as Axel extends a hand to Marina to help her step down from the raised platform.

'It's half past, we'd better go down.'

We're all quiet as we make our way up to the chariots. I smile meekly at some of the mentors I pass, Johanna throws me a wink. Our chariot has two beautiful snow white horses, and standing somewhat awkwardly to the side is Hugo, the sky blue makes him look even younger and the somewhat startled expression he wears makes his fine outfit look like a pathetic costume, fussing with the train of silk is the most uniquely beautiful woman I think I've ever witnessed in the capital. Her hair is long and flowing which would be beautiful except its bright yellow with dots of pink. Her face is heart shaped with full eyes that show natural beauty except they are outlined in a think pink ink, which artfully turns into flowers and swirls as they extend around her cheek bones. Her nails must be over an inch in length and are all manner of colours and shapes. Yet when she looks up and smiles at me, her perfectly white teeth and bright pink lips show her youth and make me smile back.

'This must be Ayda!' She says in a sugar sweet voice.

'So this much make you Misty, right?' I say softly.

'Yes it does my dear! He has spoken none stop about you!' I think I blush the colour of a tomato, the heat in my cheeks is somewhat embarrassing.

'Well its lovely to meet you…' I mumble.

'Likewise darling.'

I smile and she smiles back, its then that I look over to our tributes.

'Right…' I say taking charge. 'What you going to do is smile and wave nothing more and nothing less- pretend you're happy to be here and that its all some kind of dream and they'll love it.'

'Oh and stay upright!' Finnick adds which makes us all laugh, and get some very strange looks from the closest chariots.

'Good luck.' Mags says softly from beside Finnick, stretching to give both a soft touch on the cheek.

'Right, let's get this show on the road…' Finnick breathes.

It only takes a very short amount of time, until we all step back; knowing we can do nothing more. They look sensational, as the light catches the fabric it's like then movement of the sea with an added sparkle that makes it somewhat mysterious.

'Smile!' Axel shouts as the carriage starts forward and both Marina and Hugo alike shoot us looks of fear and surprise.

'Tea?' I hear Finnick ask, as from somewhere an Avox has appeared bearing a tray of drinks.

'Sure.' I say sitting down on the benches that's ring the…stable….

Finnick hands me my tea cup and saucer, moving back to grab his own before sitting next to mags who has taken a seat at my left. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the cold wall, feeling so very tired from my day. I feel someone sit to my right, closer than Mags- I don't need to open my eyes to know who.

'Hey.' He breathes in my ear; I smile softly as his facial hair tickles my ear. 'Long day huh?'

'Longer than long.' I murmur back, catching myself on a yawn.

'I can tell.' He laughs, I laugh back; opening my eyes and sitting up taking a sip of my tea.

'So Misty is unique…' I say wondering if he sees how random she is for a stylist.

'She's unorthodox I'll admit but she is good at what she does.'

'I know she made him look somewhat less childlike.' The subtle use of make-up on Hugo had by some miracle began to cover the baby fat.

'How was today?'

'Oh the whole mentor thing… enlightening.'

'Enlightening?'

'I feel lighter than I have since my games weirdly; seeing everyone there and what they said made me realise that although I hate…'

'You did what you had to do to live?'

'Something like that.'

'Halleluiah…' He murmurs close to my ear, kissing me just below my ear.

'Yeah it's been a weird day.' I take another sip of my tea and lean into Axel side, as his arm envelopes me closer to him. We sit like this for a long while, not talking just close- I know Finnick and Mags notice but by now I think everyone knows. It's nice to just be comforted.

The First chariot makes its way back in the stable, the faces of District one's tributes is pure malice, the same can be said for two.

'What's wrong with them?' I murmur to Axel as I sit up and the Avox collects my used mug- I smile politely.

'I have absolutely no idea.'

It's as I look up I see Hugo and Marina coming towards us, there robes billowing in the evening wind.

'Did you see them?' Marina says quickly.

'See who?' Finnick asks equally confused.

'Oh.' Mags says softly, making us look up. Its then I see them twelve and they are on fire…literally. Every grouping is looking at them, entranced by what they have done.

'Cinna…' I hear Axel laugh.

'What?'

'Cinna, a new find this year- he's really made a fire, hasn't he?'

I smile back shaking my head, it's as I glance over at twelve again that Haymitch catches my eye and winks so very subtly before quickly escorting his two tributes from the floor.

'Come on, let's go up.' Finnick says, throwing an arm around Hugo's shoulders as Mag's smile at Marina and hoops her arm through hers. I stay back watching, I reach for Axel's hand and lace my fingers through his; he squeezes my hand in reassurance.

The reaction to the apartment is even better than the one on the train.

'All of this?' Marina laughs.

'All of it.' Finnick smiles.

'Wow look!' Hugo says running over to the glass wall. 'Look at all the lights, its beautiful.'

'That it is.' I say, walking over to sit on the window seat.

'Were you here too?' Hugo asks.

'Yeah but it's totally different, every year they get designer in and then maybe add an extension or two…' I say looking around the big room.

'It's amazing.' Hugo breathes his eyes bright with something close to joy.

'Don't forget they only make it look nice, we still will probably die!' Marina spits, making the smile on Hugo's face all but disappear.

'Marina!' I reprimand.

'What its true?!'

'I know but think about it…'

'I can't do anything but!' She shouts running off down one of the corridors that head to their own quarters.

I drop my head into my hands and rub my face in exasperation. I can feel a headache building at my temples.

'Well that's nice…' Finnick says softly.

'Oh I know.'

I spend much of my time before dinner sitting with Hugo by the glass wall, as we point out the assortment of colours and laugh at the chanting that is audible even through the thick walls. It isn't until Axel starts talking to Hugo about back home that I move away from the window and go in search of Marina. I don't get very far; I can hear her sobs from the corridor; I find her wedged in a cupboard that is almost invisible to the unsearching eye.

'Hey.' I say softly, crouching down in front of her.

'Go away.' She murmurs, her voice thick with tears.

'I can't do that.'

'Just go.'

'I'm sorry I shouted but…'

'I know!' She interrupts. 'I shouldn't have said it but I can't be all happy about the fact that in a week's time I'll probably be dead.' Her sobbing renews, and I can't stop myself pulling at her arm and pulling her close against my side and hugging her as she sobs into my dress.

'If I could stop it I would.' I feel my own eyes cloud. 'But I can't sweetheart and I'm so sorry- I wish I could tell you that it would all be okay but I can't…only one of you comes home but you should know is that between Me, Mags and Finnick we're pulling out every stop to make sure that it's you who comes home.'

'And Axel?' She coughs.

'And Axel and even Misty.' I say, hugging her close.

'She's weird.' Marina says on a sob.

'Tell me about it.' I laugh.

'Her hair is yellow! Yellow and pink…'

'Em have you seen the tattoos…' I say smiling.

'You can tell we're in the capital…' She breathes.

'Yep.' I say popping the 'p'.

We sit like this for some time, I don't want to move her even after her sobs stop and her breathing comes down to normal- its only when I hear Misty shout dinner that we move. We stop at her bathroom and wash her face and strip out of her costume changing into a simple shirt and pants. We take our seats at the table just as food is being served, Finnick shoots me a look but I simply shake my head- I'll talk to him later. My seat is between Axel and Marina; I feel like this has been deliberate and I'm pleased. The table is near to breaking with all the food; Kizzy is simpering away to Mags about the new publicity for the games in which Mags merely nods appropriately. Finnick, Misty and Hugo have huge platefuls of food in front of them and are laughing loudly at something Finnick is saying. My end of the table is quiet, Marina is merely playing with her food, taking the odd mouthful.

'Hey eat something at least.' I murmur, as Axel busies himself with adding gravy to his plate.

'I'm not hungry.'

'Something please.' I say, reaching out for her hand, which I grasp in my own. Her hand is freezing; I look at her and see something I wish I hadn't… undiluted fear. I sit back in my chair and watch as she eats a few more mouthfuls of dinner and then excuses herself- I think as she leaves I let out a breath. Hugo leaves not long after and our table is plunged into silence.

'Well, well it's been a long day, so I don't about you but I'm going to bed.' Kizzy says in her high voice.

'Night.' We all chorus as one as she exits to her room.

'That was tense.' Finnick says, rubbing his face in his hands. 'So Marina…'

'Is petrified.' I finish for him. 'She has told herself this is a death sentence.' I spit.

'Ayda…' Axel says softly.

'No she has! She doesn't see herself coming home, she's admitted she's going to die and she will not listen.'

'It sometimes happens.' Mags mumbles.

'She has no hope.'

'I knew something was off when we were in make-up.' Axel breathes, moving slightly in his chair. I allow the Avox to top up my glass and I take a long drink.

'Talk to her Mags.' Finnick says after a moment's hesitation. 'Give her hope like you did for us.'

There is a few minutes of silence as we all just sit and think; no one quite sure how to break it, when Mags nods her head sharply. I let out a long breath.

'I'm going to bed.' I say softly, standing from the table.

'I think we all should.' Mags says, also rising. From all around the table everyone stands and moves walking down the stairs from the dining room. I walk over to the big window and sit on the chair watching the Capital lights and the world alive beneath our feet.

'I'm just going to hop out for a bit.' Finnick says.

'Where to?' I ask.

'Just somewhere, I'll tell you tomorrow.' His voice is soft and his face expressionless as he steps into the elevator and leaves. Everyone bids their goodnights after that till it's just me and Axel. I don't speak and neither does he; I just take his hand and lead him to my room in which we both strip down to our underwear and climb under the mounds of linen- and we do nothing but enjoy the closeness and as I fall asleep I feel somewhat safe lying in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

My eyes flutter open as a bright light burns my eyelids, shielding my eyes with my hand I focus and notice the sunlight beaming into my window. I raise my head slowly glancing at the time 8:15, _time I should be getting up_ , I think. I roll away from the alarm clock and find myself cocooned into his arms.

'Morning.' He breathes into my ear; I shiver in response and turn in his arms to plant a kiss on his lips.

'Morning.'

'So what's today's plan?'

'Huh?' I look up into his face, with obvious bafflement in my eyes.

'Keep forgetting you don't know this well obviously, you know today is training so they are out from ten till five; so we have a whole day…' This has never crossed my mind.

'What do the other do?' I ask sceptically.

'Mags normally hangs with some of the other mentors; Finnick is always out…so it's up to you.'

'And you?'

'I'm all yours.' He murmurs against my lips as he kisses me again.

'What can we do?' I ask, knowing fine well I have absolutely no idea what there is to do in the capital.

'Shopping?' He says beaming at me, as the light catches the precious metals in his ears and nose.

'Whatever…' I say laughing.

'Although it might help if people see you out and acting all Capital like…' He says softly, wrapping his arms around me.

'Of course it will.' I breathe.

'you don't have to…'

'Yes I do.'

'Sort me something to wear out, and we'll head out as soon as they're gone.'

'We have three days Ay.'

'Well let's make them count for something.' I say, rolling away from Axel and making my way to the bathroom. I shower with care, using the finest cycle I can find on the shower and using some the best body care products. I program the dryer to dry my hair poker straight, and step out of the bathroom in just my underwear- I search in my dresser for the jumper dress I spied yesterday.

'Second draw down.' He says from the bed. I open the draw and it sits perfectly folded on top.

'What… how?' I mumble; as he laughs at my expression.

'Your just so easy to read Ay!'

'Goody.' I say deadpan, slipping the dress over my head and smoothing it down- I slip my feet into a pair of ultra-soft leather pumps and blowing a kiss over my shoulder exit my suite in search of food and my tributes.

I must be the first awake, the dining room is empty and the Avoxes are just beginning to assemble the breakfast, I take the bowl of fruit of them and take the seat furthest away. Lost in my own thoughts I eat my breakfast. My mind is in overdrive; I don't know what to think because now I have two tributes that in five days will be in an arena…or the cynical side of me thinks _two tributes dead_. I quickly stem that thought, stabbing a strawberry with my fork with maybe too much menace as it snaps in two. I pop the food in my mouth with slow careful movements, I force my mind to just think of the task at hand- I chew the fruit with care savouring the sweet flavours that the fresh fruit brings. It's just as I'm swallowing the last piece of my fruit salad that I hear feet making their way across the tiled floor- not heels, the tap to is too soft.

'Hey.' Finnick says softly, I turn and smile as he reaches the top of the stairs whilst an Avox takes away my empty bowl. 'You been up long?'

'Not long…what you up to today?' I ask, as he takes a seat next to me. He scratches above his eyebrow and coughs before he answers.

'This and that, I've got a couple of things I need to do.' He says before coughing again and accepting a bowl of hot porridge with an all-out smile.

'Me and Axel plan on having a wander around, maybe talking to people try and get some people on board.' I say hoping he'll volunteer to join us.

'That's a great idea Ay, people are really into you and you'll be fine with Axel.'

'Yeah we're just…' I say slightly surprised by his reaction.

I ask for a piece of toast and cover it generously with jam; enjoying the smooth sweetness. Without even being asked the female Avox who served us last night passes me a tea; it's now I notice her from the train too- I beam up at her in thanks as I accept it, taking a warming sip.

'Man I'm hungry!' Axel says rather boyishly, as he reaches the dining table taking the seat on my other side. 'I could honestly eat a horse!' He laughs as he runs a hand through his hair- which currently hangs long around his shoulders. He accepts the bowl of porridge and begins to each in large manly mouthfuls; I smirk at him and turn back to my toast.

'Morning, morning, morning!' Kizzy chirps, as she takes a seat at the table- clicking her fingers at the Avox who brings her a black coffee and a bowl of fruit. 'Well isn't this nice.' She says smiling at us around the table, I return her smile quickly before taking a small sip of my tea. Mags and Misty wander into breakfast in a deep conversation which has both chuckling and smiling warmly. If this was just a normal breakfast, I would be ever so happy that we're all together but the fact still lies in my brain as to why we're here and why we're all together- I still smile though.

I've ate my way through a bowl of fruit, some toast and an omelette – which I can say are nice- I'm just taking the first mouthful of my pile of syrup covered pancakes -which remind me of my victory tour- when my tributes come into the dining room. They are dressed alike in grey and red body suits that are emblazed with a large number four on their back.

'Morning!' Kizzy says brightly, smiling somewhat like a Cheshire cat with her harlequin red lipstick.

'Morning!' Myself and Finnick chirp together; which only makes me smirk.

They take their seats at the table, and the friendly talk has evaporated; the only noise comes from the clatter of cutlery and porcelain. I take a sip of my tea, now tasting nothing but the moisture.

'So…' Finnick begins. 'Big day today for both of you; Hugo do what we talked about last night Johanna will have mentioned it to her two as well so you should be okay- stick together okay?' Hugo bobs his head making his curls wobble like springs. 'Marina, you try and talk with one and two- these next three days are when alliances are made; okay?'

'Yeah right.' Marina mumbles, before taking a bite of a hot stew that has just been brought to the table.

'Tonight if there is anything wrong, we can talk it through and think again- we just have to see what's going on today.' I say, with a smile which only Hugo returns; Marina gives me a look that is somewhat close to a scowl. I'm not the only one who notices both me and Finnick exchange a quick look and Axel softly squeezes my leg under the table in question.

'Are you okay Marina?' I ask softly, all eyes around the table bearing on us.

'Fine.' She snaps.

'You obviously aren't Marina.' Axel says before I can stop him.

'Oh will you just shut up!' She shouts, making us all jump.

'Enough!' Kizzy squeaks.

'No.' Marina spits, her face beginning to get somewhat flushed with anger.

'Why don't you tell us what's wrong then?' I murmur, and take a sip of tea.

'Well you fucking him doesn't help!' She shouts, I splutter forgetting how to swallow and find myself not quite choking on my tea- I cough a few times as Axel pats me gently on the back before my throat clears enough for me to speak.

'That is enough.' I say, my voice rings with authority.

'No its not; instead of being focused on me you're with him!'

'What?' I ask, I have yet to miss anything related to her and the games.

'I tried to find you last night, I came to your room and you were in there with him!' She spits.

'I don't think that's your business.' Axel murmurs softly.

'Its my life on the line!'

'And has she yet do anything that makes you think she's incompetent? Or that she doesn't care? She is working so hard to make sure people take to both of you! Do you think she likes having to relive her games or standing around people she can't stand? She does it just so you both have a better chance at sponsors!' Axel is puce, he runs a hand through hair; and grabs my hand under the table giving it a gentle squeeze.

'I know your scared.' I say in a calm voice.

'You don't have to be nice to her Ayda.' Kizzy interrupts, her voice clearly showing her disapproval of Marina's words.

'Its okay Kizzy; I know your scared Marina and I'm sorry that you feel that I'm not there but I am and last night you should just have knocked because then we both would have helped you. I can't help the fact you don't agree that we're together because we are and I can't change that but use it to your advantage.' I end softly; looking directly at her.

'I thought you'd given up on me…' Her voice breaks at the end, and we're all silent as she runs off from the table and clatters down the stairs.

'That was quite rude.' Kizzy comments in her superficial manner.

'She's scared.' I say in her defence. 'I'll go talk to her.' I stand from the table and wander down the stairs trying to find a clear pattern in my thoughts. I don't get far I hear her hushed sobs from in the lounge. She curled on one of the love seats, her hair a cape around her shoulders.

'Hey.' I say taking a seat in the chair next to her. She doesn't reply. 'I'm not mad; neither of us are.'

'You should be.' She sobs.

'No I shouldn't, we should have told you but it's all happened rather sudden.'

'No it didn't, you obviously were together since the games.'

'On and off.' I reply, my mind plagued with how obvious we'd both been.

'I am sorry.'

'I accept it, but in future just knock; I'm here for you…'

'We both are.' Axel's voice comes from behind me. 'I'm sorry about what I said… I don't know what came over me it was out of line.'

'It's what you say when you care for someone.' Marina hiccups back a sob.

'Still it was out of line.'

'How about we go and get you ready for training, do something with your hair perhaps?' I say softly.

'We?' Axel laughs. 'Do you not me Axel will do something with your hair?' Marina starts to laughs, a distinctive girlish giggle.

'Whatever we have half an hour before Kizzy will be shouting for them.'

'Come on.' Axel says grabbing one of Marina's arms and hoisting her up; I link mine through her other and we half drag her up to my room.

Marina stands next to the elevator, her hair braided tight to skull on either side; flourishing to fish plaits as they bounce of her shoulders. She almost jumping with nervous energy that no-one can seem to stop. Hugo is the total opposite he stands silent and still watching his toes. The elevator door open and Kizzy steps in and Hugo follows her, although not before Finnick squeezes his arm in support. Marina looks up to me, raising her eye-brow in silent question- I nod and she needs no more encouragement she steps into the lift and in a second they are gone.

I let out a long breath.

'Well this is has been an exciting morning.' Finnick says with a smirk.

'Yeah…' Mags says smiling widely at me.

'I prefer to call it eventful.' I say, pursing my lips.

'Inciteful as well.' Misty says from her chair, smiling wickedly.

I can't help the smile that pulls at my lips. I look at Axel and see he's trying to hide his smile but failing miserably.

'You are the worst.' I say.

'The worst.' Axel laughs.

'Get used to it!' Finnick retorts, checking the time on his watch. 'And as lovely as this is if I don't leave now I'll be late.'

'Late…this is the Capital for them this is wake-up time!' Axel laughs.

'I'm still late.' Finnick says with a tight smile and presses the button to summon the elevator. 'I'll see you guys tonight.' And with that he's gone. I don't stand around because I know I'll ask the question which biting at my tongue- the absolute elephant in the room- instead I wander back to my room and take a seat at my dressing table. I grab the big padded brush and rhythmically brush my hair enjoying the soothing motion of the brush against my hair.

'What's going on with Finnick?' Axel asks walking into the room.

'Search me.' I say. 'He said in the car something about he'll me later but I think later has been and gone…'

'It's weird.' Axel says, rubbing at one of his shoulders.

'What's up?' I ask, indicating his shoulder.

'Tension I think.'

'You'd be a fool if you didn't.' We're silent for a moment. 'We can stay in if you like?' I question, secretly hoping he says yes.

'No need, anyways there is a couple of things I want to pick up for the interview dress.'

'You haven't finished it?' I squeak.

'It's finished, just a couple of ideas that are bouncing around.'

'Whatever you think is best.' I conclude, putting the brush back on the table. I press the hand dispenser and rub the cream soothingly into my palm and fingers- relishing in the smoothness it gives my hands.

'So what's the plan today?' I ask, from the chair as he plants himself on the bed spread eagle.

'I was thinking we hit uptown.'

'Uptown?'

'Shopping metropolitan, they are the sponsors.'

'People with too much money?'

'You got it in one.'

'So what is one wearing today?' I ask with smile.

Dressed in what I can only describe is the most ordinarily random outfit I can ever of imagined, Me and Axel make our way down a street that I can only describe as bonkers; the houses are different colours of pastel and the window frames are outlined in either white or cream- making them look weirdly like something out of a movie the Capital seem to love so much.

Axel was right 'Uptown' is where we needed to be, already today I have been bombarded with people asking an abundance of questions about me, home, Axel…and the tributes- although that was always like an afterthought. I have been patted, stroked, tickled and that's all in the last hour- oh and all have been by complete strangers. I have held Axel's hand in a white knuckled grip, not sure what to expect but the Capital citizen in majority just remind me animals who just want to be loved and have some attention.

I now sit in a little 'coffee shop' sipping from a very small cup of tea; and nibbling on again a very small biscuit Axel tells me is called a cookie- apparently the brown pieces are chocolate. I look around me and the quaint little shop is just full of people dressed in abnormal colours or designs- there is even a woman in the back corner with a face that consists mostly of piercings apart from the fact she has whiskers…actual whiskers…like a cat!

I turn back to Axel, trying so very hard not to stare at the fact a woman has whiskers coming out of her face.

'I know.' He smirks.

'Whiskers?' I hiss.

'Yes but look…' He indicates the room discreetly. 'Everyone is looking and that's all you want in the Capital.'

'I don't think I will ever understand this lot.'

'Babe I live here and I still don't get it.'

'You're not like them, it's like you missing the gene.' I sigh.

A thought has just hit me, and I know I shouldn't be worrying about this little thing amid everything but I can't help but.

'You live here…' I mumble.

'What?'

'You live here…and I…'

How could I be so dumb? This can never be more than a games thing… I snatch my hand out of his because I know this is going to hurt.

'Ay…' He says his voice full of hurt.

'I live in Four…and you…oh…' I breathe.

'No!' He snaps suddenly, reaching back for my hand and grabbing it in a tight grip. 'Ayda you idiot, do you think I would do this and not have an idea.'

'An idea?' I ask doubtful, traveling between districts isn't well heard of, especially not to the capital.

'Yes an idea, my aunt…well my aunt is President snow's assistant…'

'Yes?' I say not quite following where he is going.

'Well she's considered it for me and if I want... if you agree I can come out to four for extended periods and you can come here when I'm needed here…'

'What so you could come and live in Four? Actually, you would want to leave all this behind?' I say gesturing around me.

'Since I've met you, none of this matters; if I'm being honest it's never mattered but now I don't want to be without you- so what do you say?'

'Your serious?' I breathe.

'Will you ever believe anything I say when it comes to you?'

'Someday.' I murmur.

'So what do you say?' He presses looking up at me.

'Yes, you can come and live me in Four…' I say softly, my eyes filling with tears. His grip on my hand softens as he brings it up to his lips and kisses it, his soft hair tickling my hand as he rubs it against his cheek. I don't know how long I stare at him: at the long thick brown eyelashes that fan out on his skin when he looks up or down; at the distinctive natural curl of his thick hair; at the pock, free skin that's as smooth as silk and slightly tanned as if by an airbrush. Its as a woman wearing towering heels and a very short dress comes to our table asking if she can clear it, the spell between us breaks; Axel agrees and we leave the café hand in hand wandering down a street that seems too go on and on and on. Axel stops outside of what looks like a little clothing store, except its nothing like the clothing stores I'm used to.

'In here.' He says opening the door for me.

'Master Axel!' A very loud Capital voice echoes.

'Han!' Axel says back and hugs the small plump man that comes barrelling towards him.

'What shall it be? It has been to long Axel.' His voice is Capital but has some accent that I've never heard before. His eyes find me after he releases Axel from his hug.

'Madam, a pleasure.' He says bending down and taking my hand.

'The pleasure is all mine.' I smile.

'I take this to be Ayda?'

'Have you told everyone about me?' I mock tease.

'Pretty much.' He laughs, looping an arm around my shoulders.

'Sit, sit.' Han says buoyantly, pressing us to sit at the exotic bench.

'Han I need some of the purity feathers…' Axel says softly once we've sat; Han looks up at the words searching for something he must find in Axel's eyes.

'Boy they can't know they are from me.' Han murmurs looking side to side.

'I know but yours are the best, and I need the best.' Han nods his head, and disappears behind a rack of clothing. I stand and wander over looking at the elegant pieces on the hangers- the way the soft fabric hangs against the hanger. I wander past the soft pieces and find a single sweater sitting upon a counter; I run my index finger along the wool and almost moan in content. The wool is kitten soft; the sweater is of the lightest pink almost as pastel as the houses we past- yet when it catches the light something seems to sparkle and the bottom is rimmed with feathers of the purest white.

'It is something of beauty my dear.' Han says from behind me making me jump. 'I am sorry I did not mean to startle, I should of know better you victors are all jumpy.' He is the first capital resident who has ever said anything like this to me, and as I look in his face I see just how soft his eyes are and how something about him tells me he isn't of Capital blood.

'It is.' I murmur, running my finger over the wool. 'You design?' I ask.

'Yes, an original.' He says softly.

'How much?' I ask, already knowing it will be extortionate.

'You take it.'

'I couldn't, it's too beautiful.'

'I can't sell it; as then they would know I have the feathers. Wear it Victor and let me see my design finally on screen.' Something about his words makes me shiver, even though he just walks over to Axel and hands him and long brown back which Axel folds and places in the purse I left on the seat. Han walks over to me and steps behind the counter, producing a long piece of fine material he spreads it across his desk only to then place the sweater central and begin to fold- so that my jumper ends up swathed in the beautiful fabric which he places inside a brown paper bag. I accept the little bag with smile. Han reaches out and grabs my arm as I turn away.

'Be so very strong my dear, you have survived but I pray that you win.' He lets go of my arm and settles into a chair behind the desk. I walk over to Axel a question in my eyes, he shakes his head and passes me the purse; and takes my spare hand.

'I bid you goodbye Axel.' Han says.

'Goodbye Han.' Axel says and opens the door; something about the place makes me eager to escape.

'Feathers?' I whisper once we are both out the door.

'Later.' He whispers in reply and sets a brisk pace from the shop.

'Okay then…' I murmur. 'Where now?'

'Show you off!' He laughs throwing his head back so his hair waves like a flag behind him. I can't help but laugh too.

My feet ache, I feel somewhat filthy. This afternoon has been like a human version of pass-the-parcel and I was the human parcel. I have spoken to, been hugged and even kissed by what feels like a million people. I have an array of free gifts, from a variety of shops although on a plus I have spoken to each and every one Marina and Hugo.

'You did good.' Axel says from beside me in the car, taking my hand.

'That was my own personal torture.' I laugh.

'I would never have even known.' He laughs loudly, tickling me playfully on the ribs making me giggle.

'Round two tomorrow?' I ask, dubious as to whether I can survive two days in a row.

'Or we could stay and you can help…or watch me add the finish touches to Marina's dress?'

'Option two!' I say quickly, with a smile of relief.

'Option two it is.'

We sit in silence, watching the streets of the capital pass us by…

'Oh look its Finnick!' I say pointing across the street.

'He doesn't look great, does he?' Axel says, making the driver pull over near Finnick.

'Finnick!' Axel shouts, making Finnick raise his head and walk over to us. I move over so there is room for Finnick who with a glance over his shoulder hops into the car which smoothly pulls away from the curb.

'What happened?' I say, taking in his untucked shirt and wholly ruffled look.

'Not here.' He spits running a hand through his hair.

We sit in silence; I lean into Axel's side; listening to his heart beat against me ear. We ride the elevator in silence, as I check my watch I notice it's a quarter to four- we still have over an hour till the tributes return.

We follow Finnick into the living room where Mags sits in the high-backed chair, knitting by the looks of things. She looks up as we enter the room, her eyes drawn to Finnick and his ragged appearance.

'What?' She says clearly, putting the needles down and patting the side of her chair on which Finnick collapse against and Mag's hand rubs his bronze hair soothingly.

'Okay someone needs to tell us what is going on!' Axel says firmly, both of us somewhat taken back by the situation that's unfolding before our very eyes.

'You don't want to know.' Finnick mumbles from behind his hands.

'I think we need to.' I say. 'My mind is going crazy!'

'Just tell them.' Mags says softly.

'Well it all started when I became a mentor, I was sixteen and _desirable…'_


	6. Chapter 6

Both me and Axel sit in the love seat closest to Finnick, his voice is so soft but we don't struggle to hear him.

'I was brought in as a mentor early after Matt died, they wanted a male and female mentor if possible and now it was perfect; so, I came to the capital a year after my _victory_ \- a little like you Ayda. I was sixteen and petrified of what I was going to see and what I was going to have to do. I was yet to forget my own games. Mags was the female mentor but had basically mentored me because of Matt and his ways…' He takes a long breath. 'Anyways so she helped me through it and basically showed me the ropes. The boy that year was eighteen and was hard work because he didn't want to be mentored by someone younger- but we found a way. Anyway, it was the second day of tribute training and I got summoned to Snow's office…he had realised I was desirable.' I feel sick in my throat; I'm getting uncomfortably hot and I don't know whether I want to know. 'He threatened my family…if I didn't comply. He sent me to a woman as a gift; I was to say thank you for her silence- she gifted me greatly but I didn't care she violated me- used me…on the next day I was put into a car and taken to another woman's house as a gift and the same happened again- throughout the entire games. I tried to hide it from Mag's but she demanded to know and she's known since.'

'But your parents and sister?' I say, knowing already the answer.

'Snow didn't feel the need to keep to his promise I came back from that games to find they all been shot for treason…'

'Oh my god.' I can't breathe. 'He wouldn't… he wouldn't…'

'We don't know.' Finnick says softly.

'Don't know what?' Axel demands.

'Her parents.'

'Yes they died in a fishing accident.'

'No-one could explain how it could have happened…' The words lie heavy in the air.

'Oh…Oh God…' Axel breathes, as I struggle to comprehend my thoughts.

'It's a control thing, it happened with Haymitch, Johanna and a considerable number of others- they are somehow isolated after their victory.' Finnick says softly.

 _The day was bright and hot, we were in district 11 touring fields full of animals -horses, cows, sheep even a few hens- the morning had been peaceful and after faking it to the crowd the animals had been amazing. Back home we have no need for livestock. When we'd gotten back onto the train after the meal that night, I'd retired to the TV room after Axel had shown me a selection of movies that I could watch. I was curled up with a cup of tea and big slice of cake when both Finnick and Mags had come barrelling through the door. I'd looked up shocked and saw them share a look of concern._

' _What?' I said softly._

' _Ayda…' Finnick said coming to sit beside me, as Mags kneeled in front of me._

' _What?' I asked with more urgency._

' _There is been an accident sweetheart.' Mags said softly taking my hand in hers. Finnick removed the tea from my other hand and wrapped both of his around mine._

' _What kind of accident?' I couldn't breathe. My stomach was churning._

' _Your mum and dad…' Mags had begun._

' _They got into trouble in one of the fishing boats…I'm so sorry Ayda.' Finnick said tightening the grip on my hand._

' _What's happened, are they really ill?' The words had poured from me, as I'd begun thinking about if they would let me cut the tour short._

' _They aren't ill Ayda, they didn't make it.' Mags' voice was weak._

' _The boat capsized and became a force; they couldn't fight it.' Finnick murmured_

' _They're dead?' I'd asked, sitting up straight._

' _I'm so sorry.' Finnick said pulling me into his arms for a hug._

' _They can't be!' I screamed, at the top of my voice._

' _Ayda please.' Mags said softly._

' _No they aren't dead!'_

' _Ayda…'_

' _What's going on?' Axel had burst into the room, just as I'd sprung up from the couch and was standing with my arms crossed over my chest and tears pouring from my eyes._

' _Her parents have been in an accident, neither one made it…'_

' _It's not true!' I'd screamed cutting Finnick off._

' _Ayda…'_

 _Axel had come up to me then and hugged me close; I'd tried to fight him but he hadn't let me go even when I'd batted at his chest with my fists._

' _No. No.' I screamed as each fist connected._

' _I'm so sorry Ayda.' He whispered into my hair._

 _That had been when I'd begun to sob and wail and scream for my parents- that was the first night Axel had spent in my bed, he hadn't let go the entire night._

'Ayda! Ayda!' Axel is right in front of my face, clicking his fingers to gain my attention; I grab his fingers in my hand and hold on tight pulling them to my lap.

'He got them killed.' I mumble.

'Maybe.' Mags says softly. After my parent died Mags and Finnick took on the role of grandmother and big brother until I shut everyone out and fumbled around in my own world- even then they both have never let me be alone for long.

'You can't repeat this Ay, okay?'

'Yeah right.' I reply to Finnick.

'Come on, you need to change before they come back and preferably gain some colour.' Axel says with worry marring his features.

'You too Finnick.' Mags says, pushing Finnick's shoulder to get him up.

'No wait!' I say quickly, looking at Finnick. 'He basically makes you his prostitute?'

'In blunt terms then yes.'

'Why?'

'Because Ay I'm desirable and there isn't much a Capital resident can't get…'

'You could say no…'

'Annie.' His word is like a spike through my heart.

'He wouldn't…' I murmur.

'Already threatened her, I can't let anything happen to her and Snow knows that.' Finnick looks up at me and I see the transparency in his eyes, the fact he isn't lying.

'So what do I do?' I ask.

'Nothing Ay, except be brave.' He stands and reaches out to me grasping my hand. 'We're survivors.' He says and walks away to his room.

'You are brave Ayda.' Mags says from her chair picking up her knitting back up.

I nod and walk from the chairs, making my way up the stairs on by one and into my room; I don't know how far I get into my bedroom before me knees give up under me and I hit the floor sobbing.

'Hey, Ay please don't cry.' Axel says quickly shutting my door and kneeling beside me. He doesn't touch me; through my tears I see his hand move multiple times as if he wishes he could touch me but know better. I sob and sob; feeling myself drain. My Mum and Dad had been so happy when I won, they came at me with huge hugs and Mum had even stayed with me at night when I screamed in fear as my dreams brought the games alive- now I must deal with the dreams alone… I scream myself awake in a hope to escape.

'He killed them…' I wail.

'Shh Ay…'

I crawl into his arm there on the floor, dressed in my capital finery I curl up on his lap and he lets me sob into his chest just like he did the night I found out they had died.

'Do you what's weird?' I mumble, when my sobs have finally slowed.

'What?' He says whilst rubbing my back.

'I feel even more alone now I know…an accident I could understand but this… it's like I can never be free.'

'You aren't alone Ay, I promise you- I will always be there for you.'

'Yeah until he kills you too.' My words start another round of tears, even more painful ones at that.

'No Ayda, don't think like that.'

'Why wouldn't he though, he could threaten me…'

'He won't because the Capital are all over us, we're popular- he can't do it.' Axel's voice is soft, but his expression is wary.

'I know you don't want to believe it.' I say, stroking my hand down his face. 'And you can walk away if you want?' The words hurt, but I know I must say them because if I don't it won't be fair on him.

'Ayda I can't leave, I've made it clear to you I'm here- I'm yours.' I cry into his chest but all my tears have dried up and I'm left feeling somewhat empty.

'Here let's get you changed.' He says lifting me in his arms and placing me on the bed. He walks over to the dresser and pulls out a shirt and a pair of pants; which he puts on my dressing table chair.

'Come on.' He takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom where he makes me sit in the chair as he removes my shoes and thigh highs and slips my dress over my head- he turns to leave as I sit on the chair in just my underwear.

'Don't go.' I say softly to his retreating figure. 'Shower with me.' I breathe.

'You sure?' He asks turning around.

'More than sure.'

We both stand under the spray I look into his eyes and see a future if not a perfect one, it's a happy one. I reach on my tiptoes as he lowers his head our lips meet under the hot spray and I feel my body come alive as his arms wrap around me lifting me from the ground.

I sit in front of the mirror of my dresser brushing out my hair with the padded brush dressed only in a plush robe and my underwear. I feel somewhat relaxed; the shower was exactly what I needed- that precious time. Axel has gone back to his room to find a change of clothes; he should just move them in here. I stand from the dresser and pick up the pants putting them on carefully they seem to be made of a very thick cotton material with some sort of sparkled beading which catches the light. The shirt is a plain black except each of the buttons are heavy and golden matching the beading on my pants. I dress with sure movements and leave my hair long around my shoulders. I go barefoot down the stairs in search of anyone because even in my lightened mood I know being alone isn't a good thing for me right now.

Wandering down the stairs I hear voices from in the lounge I hang back from entering- its Axel and Finnick.

'How many years?' Axel asks.

'About 8 or 9.'

'And its every year?'

'Everyone, even if I'm visiting the Capital he finds me someone to…do.'

'Right…' Axel says, I don't want to hear anymore I wander into the room and sit with nonchalance on one of the loveseats tucking my feet under me and smiling widely.

'You okay?' Finnick asks.

'Fine.' I answer. 'We have bigger fish to fry, right?'

'Too big at the minute.'

'Well let's build a bigger fire.' This makes him laugh, and even Mags chuckles.

'Okay.' I say. 'We just have to do this and then I can be emotional afterwards, they are still dead nothing I can do will change that.' I say quickly. 'Right now I'm focusing on keeping one of these kids alive.'

'Same here.' Finnick says softly. I look at my watch and notice the hour.

'They should be back any minute.'

'Yeah so let's be ready for anything.'

'Anything?' I ask confused.

'You know a major tantrum or two.' I smirk at him and shake my head.

'You never know.'

The sound of the elevator clicking makes me look up and I see both Marina and Hugo walk into the lounge- they both are wearing smiles.

'So…' Finnick asks.

'I'm actually okay at combat.' Marina says. 'I'm better with a cleaver but I've been with one and two all day- Clove and Cato are lethal but I think it's good.'

'Hugo?'

'I've just been with Seven, we've tried a few things in survival- I learnt how to build a fire!'

'A good day all round.' I say with a sigh of relief.

And that's been the routine for the last couple of days each day has been much the same; both Marina and Hugo have been in high spirits. Tonight, is the televised scoring, and I must admit I'm nervous. I'm sitting on the floor in what we have now made Axel's remake room, unknotting a rather long roll of beaded thread as Axel works his way around the dress pulling at pieces until he finally stands back with an audible sigh.

'Done?' I ask looking up, the last two days have been spent in here yesterday we had attached the feathers to the bottom of Marina's dress they look exception they gracefully weave to the floor and will trail behind her as she walks.

'I think so.' He says coming and sitting by me.

'It's wonderful.' I breathe.

'It may be but let's hope it's not all she's got.' Axel murmurs.

'Tomorrow we'll deal with it, we've just got to prep her- find her angle and make it work.'

'And what's her angle?'

'Let me get back to you about that.'

Axel's husky laugh echoes in the room.

'I'm hoping she's got some confidence in herself then we can play her as being strong and a contender.'

'Four is always a contender, yeah but Four is also sometimes over looked for One and Two.'

'I want her to be noticed and as much as her dress is amazing she needs to bring it.'

'What was your angle again?'

'Sweet and humble.'

'Oh yeah right…' Axel laughs.

' _So Ayda you look lovely tonight.'_

' _Thank you.' I said to Caesar, smiling a dimple showing smile._

' _So I think we all want to ask how you managed an 8 in training, without giving us too many details.' He says smiling._

' _I'm not what I seem.' I giggled. 'I will surprise you, hopefully.'_

' _Will you now?' Caesar countered smiling._

' _Yeah, I love this place the colours the people…' The crowd had cheered so very loud. 'It's beautiful.'_

' _So complimentary, now I must say when you were reaped we all were stunned by you- weren't we?' He shouted at the audience. 'Such a beauty like you in a district.'_

 _I'd blushed pink and giggled again, just like Mags had told me too._

' _I'm really not.' I'd giggled, curling a piece of hair around my finger like I was embarrassed._

' _Oh I think she is, don't we?' The crowd had roared as I'd dimple smiled at them._

'Don't remind me.' I laugh to Axel, twirling a piece of hair around my finger.

'What it was adorable?'

'Adorable yes; but my odds like dropped after that interview.'

'What did you do in your private session? I've never asked, I've always wondered what you did to get that eight.'

'I may have done some knots, and crafted a snare…and then I may have possibly showed them I was quite lethal with a fair few knives.' I say softly. 'I gave it everything.'

'I thought it was wrong when it was said, even Caesar did a double look.' I laugh rather loud, remembering Finnick's surprise and Marsh's look of curiosity especially as we both had received eight. 

'Yeah that was funny, but remember how low the rest were.' My year had been somewhat weak, apart from a few. Obviously one and two had been strong but that was basically it there was Marsh and a handful of others from various districts who were somewhat an opponent but the majority were just small and underfed.

'Yeah it was weak that year, the kids were eating around the clock.'

'Do you blame them, now you've saw the districts?'

Axel's reaction to most the districts had been comical at best, he didn't believe for long enough that what he was seeing was the best the districts could put on. His reaction at Twelve at been slightly sickening, especially when he saw a barrage of malnourished children pouring through a can of rubbish.

'No I don't.' He breathes softly, looking at me.

'Saying that I'm starving.' I say, pulling myself to my feet and walking over to the speaker. I order two teas and a big bowl of melted chocolate and strawberries. Within a minute they sit in the little draw on a large copper tray.

'Nice.' Axel says in appreciation as I dump the food on the floor and sit beside him.

'It's a chocolate day.' I say smiling.

'Certainly is.' He says picking up a strawberry and dipping it in the large bowl of melted cholate. 'Open.' He says as he feeds me a strawberry, I bite of the strawberry feeling the juice of the strawberry and the sweet chocolate mix on my tongue- I chew the food and swallow before picking up a strawberry of my own and dipping it in the chocolate and feeding it to Axel.

'I like it when it's like this.' Axel murmurs as he lies with his head in my lap, as I use a spoon to eat the remaining chocolate.

'Like what?' I say, offering a mouthful of chocolate which he takes and swallows.

'Normal, just talking and eating… like a regular couple.'

'I know I like it too.' I murmur, putting down the bowl of chocolate.

'Do you think we'll ever just get to be us?'

'Maybe someday, when there is another victor and another stylist…'

'So not for a while then?'

'Hey we'll just make it our normal.'

We all sit around the couches, with set faces. Tonight's meal has been a quiet one, no-one quite sure what to say and what not too. The bubbles of conversation have been too loud and too forced to last very long- despite the fact the meal was beyond delicious.

'Its starting.' Finnick says, as the TV starts to flicker.

Caesar Flickerman appears on the screen sporting a midnight blue eyeshadow and his hair a matching shade.

'Better than last year…' Finnick breathes.

'Last year?'

'He looked like he was bleeding Ay.'

'Lovely.' I say turning back to the screen.

Caesar's presenting voice takes us through One and Two who both gain very high scores- Three gets moderate.

'The Male tribute from District Four, Hugo, receives a…' I hold my breath, not quite sure what to expect. 'Eight!'

'A what?' I say smiling.

'Shh!' Finnick says, I turn back to the TV.

'…from District Four, Marina, receives a…Nine!'

'Oh wow, well done!' I hoot, smiling at both beyond happy.

'That's amazing!' Finnick says looking at Hugo with amazement in his eyes.

'Well done!' Axel says.

'I knew you had fire!' Kizzy simpers.

I sit with a glass of champagne in my hand which Kizzy ordered from an Avox, smiling at the tributes. Marina showed them some work with a cleaver and said that they looked mildly interested whilst Hugo had showed them a range of survival skills he'd bopped from station to station showing them his nearly found skills… he'd even showed them how he could make a fish hook.

'Very clever Hugo.' Finnick congratulates him. 'Showing them you can survive.'

'It was something Mags said actually; she told me I didn't need to be vicious I just have to stay alive the longest like Annie.'

'Yes like Annie.' Finnick says softly, taking a sip from his glass.

'Are you set with Seven?' I ask Hugo.

'Yeah, that's my alliance.'

'And you with the Careers?' I ask Marina.

'Yeah, my score will have sorted that- I rank the same as Marvel and better than Glimmer.'

'Good, well then tomorrow is the televised interviews; I'll be working with Marina and Finnick will be working with you Hugo. We have all day, and we just have to make it work- make you likeable and make a sponsor think your worth it.'

'And how do you do that?' Marina asks.

'By playing an angle.'

'An angle?'

'They like people who act a certain way so we're talking flirty, anger, a fighter- you find an angle that represents you.'

'And the Capital love it.' Finnick says.


	7. Chapter 7

'No Marina…that doesn't work either.'

'Well I can't be grateful Ayda! They're making me kill people to survive, I'm not overly happy about that!' I can't help the smile that plays on my lips, I look at Axel and notice the same smile on his.

'What are you two smirking about?' She snaps which only makes us smile wider.

'I think we may have found your angle.' Axel says.

'What bitchy?' Marina asks frowning.

'Exactly.' I breathe.

'Yeah isn't the whole idea of this to make people like me?' Marina says slowly; I nod. 'Well I don't think being a bitch about the whole thing is going to make them like me…'

'They'll be interested, maybe even amused and that's all we need.' Axel says, sitting down on the couch.

'Sweetie grateful hasn't worked; nor has funny, flirty, humble, sexy- even vulnerability has past you by being angry and slightly above it all may be the only way here.' I say softly trying to lighten the harshness of my words.

'So what you saying?'

'I'm saying that if you go with this you're a caged human in a shark tank that is filled with sharks, you go without and you're just a human in a shark tank that is filled with sharks- you know exactly what I'm saying.'

We are quiet for a few moments.

'Okay how about me and Axel run through some questions and you try and answer them bitchy like?'

'Fine.' She snaps, sitting down in the winged chair. I sit beside Axel and turn to face the chair as Axel speaks.

'So this must be quite different from Four?' Axel says with faked joy.

'Yeah.' Marina says.

'No. No. No.' I say.

'What was wrong?' Marina says her brow creasing.

'What was right?' Axel breathes.

'Okay new idea. How about I answer questions in a bitchy manner and you just take note?' I say rubbing my head where a headache is forming.

'Fine…' Marina breathes as me and her swap places.

'So Ayda this must be quite different from four?'

'Well obviously, now my life is counted in days and apparently, I'm supposed to happy about it!'

'Yes well…there must be something you like at least?'

'Oh the abundance of food is fantastic; you know people dying in the districts but at least I have a full stomach.'

'You look wonderful tonight, doesn't she folks…'

'Oh yes lovely, considering I'll probably be dead in a few days you should probably remember this dress.'

'Nice…' Axel murmurs.

'But won't they think I'm a total bitch?' Marina asks.

'Yes and that's the whole point.'

'So basically just say what I'm thinking?'

'Yes exactly because what can they do?' I say softly.

'Nothing, I'm already in their games.'

'Exactly.' Axel adds. 'Make sure you're remembered, whether it be something you say or the way you look.'

'The capital like anything new, anything gossip worthy.'

'Try and impress Kizzy, try and make Kizzy remember you.' Axel adds.

'Each person you impress adds another bar on your cage…and the sharks are going to be coming.' I breathe.

'There is twenty-four of us going in and only one comes out…'

'And?'

'And well the odds aren't in my favour!' She snaps.

'They aren't in anyone's.' Axel says, placing a hand on Marina's knee.

'Never have been…and probably never will be as long as the games goes on.'

'So why doesn't someone change them?' Marina says, her words are those that no-one ever says but in her position, she's free to say them.

'No-one knows how to.' Axel surprises me by answering- he's been bread in the Capital he should think and agree with the majority.

'But how?' Marina presses.

'Because there is still a lot of people who think this is a good idea.'

'Not in the districts.' Marina counters.

'One and two it's an honour to be reaped, majority are volunteers- and the Capital are vastly powerful Marina they have the ability to do mass killing, to take away what little people have in the districts…they could do what they did to thirteen for every district.' I say softly.

'But how would they survive?'

'By calculating it right; they may not bomb everywhere but they'll make it so people are so scared they won't even think of rebelling against them.'

'They'll secure their power through instilling fear in everyone, and then what is left?'

'Nothing.' I say, in answer to Axel's words.

'I wish we didn't do this, I wish it wasn't _part of our healing_ but people here don't see it as real, they see it as a reality show and it isn't their fault as much as people don't believe it- they're conditioned by how its produced and how its showed- what they see is a performance with costumes, music and staging. They see Snow making speeches of how it's a good thing, they can't see the wrong because they aren't able to see it.'

'The games are awful Marina but winning them…I have to come back and see you all put back in there- that is how they instil fear, how they _keep us in check_ because they don't let us forget it.'

'And for the capital its one big party.' Axel breathes.

 _The victory tour was coming to an end, the day dawned with bright skies and a drive around the Capital waving gaily at the people who'd crowded the streets. That night was the presidential party. As Kizzy had said, anyone who was anyone was going to be there dressed to impress and dressed to meet the new victor of The Hunger Games. Axel had commissioned a dress that hung in a way that gave me curves that didn't really exist and the make-up and hair all proved to highlight my dimples and high cheekbones but above everything my eyes which had weirdly become a fad in the Capital. I'd looked in the mirror and not really recognised the person looking back, I was more lean and better fed then I had ever been and well along with everything else I couldn't find the person I'd once been._

 _I'd walked into the maddest party I'd ever been at; firebreathers on the pillars, a magician on the door, trapeze artists hanging from the ceiling and a magnitude of people milling around in the huge rooms. The main room had been an abundance of what looked like a plush living area except it continued out into the grounds and people were milling about on top the grass and sitting near the ponds on intricately carved benches._

 _A man had come up to me, as Kizzy had grabbed my hand and pulled me forward._

' _Oh dear aren't you just something!' He'd purred. 'A little fighter, the blood made everything so violent and vicious and your tears…best victor yet!' He'd prattled, making me want to punch him- my nails had dug into my hand as my hand had curled only Kizzy's grip stopped me as she's pulled me on._

 _That had been my night, they'd laughed about my face after I'd killed the one from five; my surprise as the cannon went off - how I'd been so in-captivating when I'd battled with Two at the end, how they'd been rooting for my victory and how they couldn't believe I'd not received a mark from the guy._

 _When the food had been served and they'd rushed to fill their plates, I'd sat by one of the ponds watching the mini aquarium feeling beyond homesick even though I didn't have anyone to go back to. I was already losing weight and glum, but that night had made me even more ready to return to some normality and to have the ability to properly mourn my parents. Axel had sat by me then, bringing a plate of food over; he'd sat having a one-way conversation with me for longer than I would have had the patience; until I'd thawed and smiled up at him; we'd danced on the floor- him teaching me one of the Capital's slow dances and then trying to teach me a jazzy one which had only led to him having a busted big toe and me breathless with laughter. They had aired it on TV, the dancing and laughing- people had apparently commented on the relationship between us but that was when I'd locked myself away._

'You just have to accept it Marina.' I say. 'It isn't going to change, not until there is something else entirely.'

'And that is yet to happen in 74 years…' Axel breathes.

'But it still could?' Marina questions.

'The chance is slim to none.' Axel answers.

'Even though people don't like it, one or two make no difference its only united that we can do anything.'

'She's right Marina, nothing is going to change; but anyway, we need to get you dressed and ready for this; sit!' He says standing from the couch and gesturing to the black leather chair that faces away from the mirror. I watch Axel's strong hands work away at Marina's thick hair- combing, conditioning, washing, drying, straightening, curling, crimping- until it has that styled professional look the capital all seemed to crave; which is seemly more gels and sprays then hair. He works her face with a multitude of palettes and bottles. Smearing this, powdering that. Her eyes wiped away and redrawn on, thick and heavy. Outlining her eyes in a deep black that is a heavy contrast to the aqua blue on her lids, that almost seems to glow. Her lashes long, with fake ones stuck in making her eyes the most prominent feature of her face. Highlighter strobes her face giving it depth and making her look so very much older than 16. Her nails are built up, and coloured a vivid blue that's almost as pale as the sky at midday.

The hour passes by, so does the next as Axel works with slow competent movements, not even calling for the prep team until the very end where he has then help her into her gown- careful of the intricate make-up job and extreme hair. I gasp as I look at Marina, her face and hair make her look like a new person; the dress hangs in a way that gives her curves and makes her look gorgeous. The feathers make all the difference, giving her the look of a majestic peacock- that's wise and powerful. As she stands on the raised platform I can't help but stare at her; as Axel attaches another headpiece and fusses with the thin gold bands that are stacked so they cover her wrist to elbow; and adds a selection of little gold rings some sit normally but some sit part-way down her tiny fingers; the gold pairs perfectly with her nails and if anything finishes her look. I almost forget and as Axel stands back to appraise Marina I go over to the high set draws in the corner of the room and pull out the little velvet box I'd put in there yesterday when I'd went through the bags I'd been given. I pass them to Axel who smiles softly, as he unclips the box.

'What are they?' Marina asks, eyeing the little box.

'A good luck charm.' I say, as Axel opens the box and removes the bright blue earrings.

'But…' Marina says touching her unpierced lobes.

'Clip-ons.' Axel breathes, moving a strand of curled hair to clip on the earring, where its sits gleaming even in the muted light.

'Thank you.' She murmurs, looking at me.

'You don't need to.' I say taking her hand and beaming.

'I do.'

'No you don't, now I have to change because you know they will look at us!' I laugh, as I wander into the little changing room we've concocted in the corner of Axel's remake room. I change into a pair of plain black slacks, and pop on the kitten soft sweater that Han gave me a couple of days back- the feathers hang gracefully around the top of my thighs.

'We're a team.' I say softly as I step out of the changing room and everyone stares.

'That we are.' Axel breathes, winding an arm around my waist, and kissing my cheek.

'Right.' I say wandering over to the mirror, and grabbing the brush from the table.

'Hey let me.' The male of the prep team says, I'm sure he's called Daw.

'Thank you.' I say passing him the brush, he with calm efficiently weaves my hair down my back pinning it into what looks like an intricate flower under my left ear.

'It's beautiful…' I whisper.

'Like you.' He says taking my hand and kissing it, I beam back as I inspect the flower again.

'We'll be out there the whole time.' Axel says, smiling at Marina, as he comes and adds a touch of powder to my otherwise untouched make-up job he did a few hours ago.

'Just be you, answer as if your talking to us- and I know how opinionated you are!' I smile, and see her own lips turn up.

'That's my girl!' Axel says, nodding his head at the two female preps who each take one of Marina's hands and help her step down from the platform.

'Just be you!' I urge as we hear a over-the-top knock at the door before Kizzy barges in.

'You will be…' She stops as she eyes Marina. 'Wow…that is stunning…' Marina smiles. 'How did you do that with the feathers, that dress is something else entirely!' She says turning to Axel who smiles awkwardly as I supress the urge to shout at her and Marina's brow creases.

'Its time, come!' She snaps at Marina, who looks like fish caught in a net.

'Be yourself!' I murmur.

'Don't panic, we'll make sure you can see us!' Axel adds as Marina is hurried along.

Both me and Axel share a long look, and sit down on the couch.

'Well…' He says.

'Exactly.' I agree, hoping Kizzy hasn't just destroyed all our work.


	8. Chapter 8

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The room is near to bursting, and seems so much smaller than what it did when I was up on the stage in my year. Me and Axel push our way through the throng of people congregating near the front seating, along the central mid-section are seats held off for all the districts faculties. Me and Axel take our seats which are thankfully dead centre and give us a clear view of the stage. We are the first row that is on a raised level and are very easy to see. As we weave our way along the bench I hear my name being screamed, in the nature of good will I turn and smile waving in the general direction of the screams, that's seem to be echoing.

'You're doing fine baby.' Axel breathes in my ear as we move along the row and fall into our seats where Finnick already sits. As I take my seat a long-stemmed flower appears in my lap as I'm met with an abundance of screams of my name which seem to merge together and make only sound. I smile and place the rose on my arm rest, turning to look at Finnick who despite everything has a smirk playing on his lips.

'Don't say a word!' I hiss.

'I wouldn't think of it.' He chuckles, which makes me smile despite myself.

People seem to be coming in from every direction, dressed in queer designs and quirky fashions. I supress my eye roll as a guy holding what looks like a minute camera leans over the bollards that separate our sitting area.

'Oh my god! I love you! I think your amazing, so brave and so gorgeous!' He whittles, with his heavy accent. 'Can I…will you…picture?' He stutters, smiling like a child.

'Sure.' I breathe, the guy passes Axel the camera and leans even more precariously over the bollard so that his face is pressed into mine- with sigh I smile widely as axel presses a tiny switch and the camera makes a clicking noise.

'Oh thank you, thank you!' He says as Axel hands him back his camera.

'Its fine.' I say smiling and turning back to face the stage.

'Is it true?' The man asks.

'What true?'

'You and him…' He says pointing to Axel.

'I think we're done here.' Axel says, turning to face the man.

'Oh sorry!' The man simpers, and with that sits back in his chair playing with his camera.

Only a few seconds pass before another camera is thrown in our faces; and from below and behind us a barrage of flashes give way to the lighting- as more and more victors enter and take their seats.

'This is mad!' I exclaim.

'Every year.' Finnick says.

'Why though?'

'They love us.' Finnick breathes.

'You're the strong, the powerful- they envy you, and want to be you.' Says a tall woman who is leaning across Finnick.

'Hello Liv, didn't think you'd be back.' Finnick greets her.

'Same… but here I am!' She laughs sadly.

'Ayda this is Liv, the district five victor; she won the year before me.'

'Hi!' I say brightly.

'It has been too long my darling.' She says grasping my hand, I beam at her and place my spare hand on top of hers. 'You were so very brave.'

'Aren't we all?' I say.

'Those at a… _disadvantage_ are so much braver than those who freely kill.' Liv says softly.

'I agree.' Finnick breathes placing his hand over ours. For a few moments we stay like that until we all lift away our hands.

'So what brought you back?' Axel asks.

'She is too fragile, I thought time but no.'

'She?' I question.

'My little victor, Cleva.'

'She won four years ago?' Finnick says.

'Five years, it destroyed her. You see Ayda Cleva scored only a three, she had nothing but the ability to survive she killed no-one personally but engineered many of the deaths- that small part she played has turned her somewhat disturbed.'

'She isn't fit?'

'Will never be.'

'I'm sorry Liv.' Finnick breathes.

'She's alive, although she is pained by what she did.'

We all sit in silence watching the hall fill with people; people shout our names but we just meekly smile in the general direction; it's so very true everyone who meets the games ends up less than sane…we all have our own pains, our own tribulations- in truth we never leave the arena.

Its as the lighting starts to dim, and the excited chatter escalates that Johanna pushes past.

'Jo?' I say.

'Oh Ay!' She says sitting on the edge of my chair, I move along lifting the armrest to give her more room.

'What's wrong?' I ask as Blight leans up against the railing.

'Its carnage!' Blight snaps.

'Huh?'

'Not again?' Finnick breathes.

'Not again?'

'You didn't tell her?' Johanna says looking at Finnick.

'I didn't see a reason to worry her.'

'Okay what have I missed?'

'The careers seem to be intimidating the others a lot more than usual…' Johanna snaps.

'Yes…'

'Well they are all that scared they aren't really talking, which means…'

'They won't come across very well.' I finish Johanna's sentence.

'Exactly.' Blight grumbles, as he pulls Johanna up. 'Come on Johanna it's going to start in a minute.' With a tight smile, she stands and follows Blight to their seats.

'Does this include Marina?' I snap at Finnick.

'We…expect so.' Finnick says softly; I hiss in reply; as the lights go down and I grab Axel's hand.

Caesar looks somewhat peculiar; the powder blue makes him look somewhat alien and clashes awfully with his pallor. The twinkling suit also makes him seem more inhuman. But his voice excites the audience, who bear to him like moths to a flame; they laugh when he jokes, they sigh as he reminds them- they cheer when he points us out. I hear their cheers then I hear my voice and feel Axel squeeze my hand to the point of pain; I smile and wave my free hand at Caesar who waves back gaily.

'Oh yes so exciting when the victors come home! Now shall we get the tributes?' The crowd roars like a caged beast. 'I thought so! From district one Marvel!' Caesar says with a flourish and a tall, muscled boy with blonde hair walks on the stage with an air of confidence. His whole interview revolves around his cockiness, the way he presents himself is mind-blowing and the odd smiles he throws in the direction of the audience have me somewhat deaf as the Capital scream and cheer. Glimmer from two is stunning- an abundance of perfect blonde hair, an amazing figure and a dazzling smile. Despite myself I sit forward in my chair and watch as she flaunts herself on the stage, giggling and laughing with Caesar but with an air that parades her fire, her need for the battle ahead- I clap with everyone else as her interview end sending Axel a look which he returns.

 _That girl could be a problem._ It says.

She is the most glorious girl I have ever seen and I think the entire room is trapped by her beauty

Next up is the male from two, and I gasp out loud, he is bigger and more ferocious then he looked at the reaping and I hadn't really paid attention to anyone at the chariot parade so he is very much terrifying to the eye.He is a band of muscle; his stylist has dressed him in an impeccable suit that is tight enough to sport the sheer mass of muscle on his arms. His smile is like a razor's edge and throughout the interview he growls animal like at what is to come and flaunts a confidence in his victory that despite being typical of One and Two is sickening to watch. But he has the audience captivated by him, they are all leaning forward in their chairs and cheering at his every word.

'You seem very confident Cato?' Caesar asks.

'I'm ready!' He growls, smacking his thigh and baring his teeth with malicious and the audience surrounding me erupt like a volcano and I don't even hear the buzzer ending his interview, I just see him send a vicious smile at the audience and shake Caesars hand.

Clove is the perfect pairing for Cato- she is that of a poisonous flower; beautiful yet deadly. Nothing about her look is girlish, her gown is like emperor robes, her smile is like a dagger- and as she purrs at Caesar the audience are entranced. Her words are razor sharp and as she flirts with her cannibal words the Capital around me are her prisoners.

I rub at my temple where a headache is blooming, as Clove's buzzer sounds. The audience have so very much fell for the charms of the most powerful tributes; their echoing whispers say it all.

Both of three are quiet. Small skinny kids, but Caesar true to form gets the audience to laugh and hoot at the little titbits they say but their eyes are blank, their little bodies look like they are shaking. The audience's reaction is nothing in comparison to the previous tributes and leaves a cavernous feeling in my stomach as I know One and Two have set the bar extremely high when attempting to gain the Capital's favour.

My heart is pounding like a train as the male from three departs the stage and Caesar turning brightly to the audience, smiles his 100-watt smile.

'How about another?' He says excitedly and the crowd go wild. 'Thought so!' He laughs. 'From District four our female tribute Marina!' He flourishes her names, and I watch as the girl I thought as powerful wanders onto the stage with her head held high and her shoulders straight; smiling somewhat wildly. The dress floats along the stage, the feathers sweeping at the floor; I hear gasps and the cheers get somewhat louder and Marina seems to float up to Caesar.

'Wowee!' He chimes, fanning himself with his free hand. 'That is one beautiful dress Marina; isn't it folks?' The crowd are alive at his words, cheering in waves. Marina's eyes search the audience; I poke Axel's ribs and he stands like we'd agreed for just a few seconds but it's enough for us to catch her eye. I wink at her and notice her demeaner change and her wild smile becomes tight.

'Yeah great dress, shame I'll probably dead in a few days but you know I look great, don't I?' She snaps. I beam at her and wink again.

'Yes well…' Caesar says somewhat flustered. 'You scored very high, I think we all were pleasantly surprised, care to enlighten us?'

'Not really, what's the point? I did some stuff but who cares I now have to go in an arena and kill people so that score means nothing!' She spits and too my delight the audience whoop her, they cheer and shout her name.

'So Marina are you ready for the games?' Caesar says trying obviously for a different tact.

'Yeah, got to be…I'll kill, I'll slaughter and I'll sure as hell not go down without a fight.' She hisses through her teeth and I know now she has the audience, they are like moths to a flame.

'Those are big words.' Caesar comments.

'I'm a big girl.' Marina says, and the crowd are putty in her hands; they are taken by the harsh words and the annoyance that is clear on her face.

'Yes you are.' Caesar concedes as the buzzer sounds and Marina merely nods her head at the audience and flows off as their screams and cries of her name echo in the vast chamber.

'Well she was something!' Caesar laughs, as the audience follow suit. 'Now let's hear from that little district partner of hers…Hugo!' I feel Finnick sit forward, I watch with bated breath as Hugo walks out he doesn't look strong nor powerful but he gives off an air of something I can't quite put my finger on.

'Well Hugo, it is lovely to finally meet you; for someone so young you scored so well in the training.' Caesar comments.

'I know, I'm a surprise!' Hugo says and surprising me the audience all 'Aw' as if it's an unspoken prompt. I sit and turn and gasp as I see that the audience are watching him with softened eyes, and are leaning forward as if they want to nurture him.

'You have caused quite a stir Hugo, your hair for one…' The audience cheer so very loud and I'm sat with confusion on my face as to what we don't know.

'Have I?' Hugo chimes.

'Son you have, your sweetness has been met with a love from the Capital!' The crowd roars, like a lion defending its cubs.

'That is amazing!' Hugo whispers incredulously.

'So back to your training score…' Caesar prompts.

'Like I said I'm a surprise, I'm not the strongest nor the fittest but I don't want to die.'

The crowd make a noise I can't identify; it rains over me as Hugo's words sink in.

'No you mustn't…' Caesar says softly, taking Hugo's hand.

'I want to live.' Hugo says, and the buzzer goes off and the crowd are on their feet.

Despite everything I feel a smile on my lips.

'That was clever!' Axel says leaning over to slap Finnick's thigh in congratulations.

'All I could think was, he looks so young… and what do the Capital go by? Looks and looks alone.' Finnick murmurs.

'Amazing.' I breathe, as the crowd roars as the district Five male walks onto the stage.

'So Marina?' Finnick presses.

'it was the only thing we could think of…' I murmur.

'It was excellent; they will remember that!' Finnick breathes.

'I couldn't think of any other angle; and then we thought why not? What more can they do to her?'

'Exactly.' Finnick breathes, reaching out and squeezing my hand.

When I look up the boy is gone but Caesar has just introduced the female. She is small in height and can be not even 100 pounds in weight. Her complexion is that of snow, yet from my seat it looks so smooth and clear. Her hair is that of autumnal leaves, poker straight and beautiful in a very unique sense. And I see in her eyes again what I saw when I watched her be reaped, she is clever she flaunts on the stage a softness- she speaks very little and looks down as if shy but shoots looks at the audience as if she is appraising us; her large eyes taking in every inch of those watching. She gives me goose-bumps, with her look and I find myself watching her even when the audience has lost some of its interest. It's as she walks off I see her smirk, and I turn to Finnick to see he has noticed it too.

'That's weird.' I breathe.

'Very.' Finnick agrees.

'People got bored why would you do that?' Axel hisses at us.

'Because it got you talking, didn't it?' Liv says, turning to look at us.

'That's a dangerous move.' Axel comments.

'It's all tactics.'

'Tactics? It's a kid's life!' Finnick hisses.

'Have you never made a choice when mentoring Finnick?'

'Yes but that was a dangerous move, that could very easily backfire!' Finnick spits as the boy from six comes onto the stage.

'I had to make a call, as we all do.' Liv says, turning away from us and watching the stage.

I shoot Finnick a look, and raise my eyebrows.

'It's her choice…I suppose.' He breathes, and begins to fidget with the leather band circling his wrist.

'As tactics go that's something else.' Axel murmurs.

'Hey don't we have to go and meet our lot?' I say quickly.

'No I got Mags on it, this may help us advise them later tonight before it all starts.' Finnick says softly.

'Oh right.' I breathe, sitting back in my chair and watching the female tribute from six wanders on; her eyes flicking for side to side. Her interview is awkward; she is stumbling over her words and stuttering out the ones that make sense. Her hands are knotted in the front of her dress, and even from my seat I can see that her knuckles are white. Caesar tries to pull one of her hands into his own above her head but instead the girl just tips her head quickly and almost runs from the stage.

'That's…'

'Sick?' Axel says.

'Sick.' I agree.

District Seven is exactly what Johanna described. Two teenagers who don't look much like fighters but have a gleam in their eyes as they find both Johanna and Blight in the crowd. Both have an attitude that I can't decide whether or not is fabricated. The answers they give to Caesar's questions are blunt and at points somewhat sharp tongued much like Johanna. The crowd cheer somewhat at them but nothing substantial and I see Johanna lean back in her chair shaking her head and saying something to Blight. Finnick is shaking his head slightly, I don't quite know what to make of the whole thing.

Eight, Nine and Ten go by in a blur of tributes. Small, young and defenceless kids who don't really seem to know what is going on. Only the boy from Ten leaves any kind of impression and that is only the surprise he gives the audience for his sheer bulk. He's sullen and if I'm honest appraises the audience without much of a second look.

As he leaves the stage, I see Caesar watch him go and turn somewhat slowly back to the audience beaming.

'Now shall we get another one?' Again, the crowd go wild. 'Our little angel from district Eleven Rue!' I gasp as she walks on the stage. Unlike all the other tributes Rue's beauty is natural, she is not in heels but in flat soled ballet shoes that have an ankle strap. Her dress is that of a fairy-tale princess; an abundance of blue ruffles and this makes her look so very young; so very very young. Caesar compliments her and I see the bloom of colour in her dark-skinned cheeks as she meekly thanks him. She's sweet and beautiful; still holding the baby fat on her limbs; and the audience cheer loudly when her buzzer goes off. Her district partner is the exact opposite; if I didn't know better I would believe him to be a career. He is tall and muscled and gives nothing away- his vibe is pure malice and he speaks in a deep voice but only clipped words and the odd sentence; the capital scream their cheers at him.

Caesar's smile is buoyant as he walks into the centre of the stage.

'And now the final district, from district twelve; you know her as the girl on fire but I know her as the lovely Katniss Everdeen!' The noise is ridiculous as the girl walks with careful steps up to Caesar; and they laugh loudly as Caesar has to repeat his question. The interview is slow and careful and the girl has each and every person on the edge of their seat. But it's as she stands and twirls that my stomach drops.

'Cinna.' Axel breathes next to me.

The girls dress as she twirls makes her look as if she is being engulfed in flames; and the crowds are uncontrollable in their cheers and screams. The rest of her interview is sweet and when talk turns to her volunteering I feel my eyes prick with tears.

'She is an opponent.' I murmur.

'Yes she is.' Finnick breaths.

Her district partner, has a light and easy patter making us all laugh every easily with his comedic words. I feel myself looking into thin air, away from the world when I hear the whole room gasp even Finnick and Axel; I look back to the stage and see Caesar looking somewhat crestfallen.

'That is a shame Peeta, a real shame; and I wish you the best of luck.' Caesar says as the boy's buzzer goes off.

'Does he really love her?' Axel asks.

'Even if he doesn't, the odds are certainly in his favour!' Finnick replies and I can't doubt as the entire audience is murmuring and talking even after the lights go out.


	9. Chapter 9

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As I walk hand in hand with Axel up to our room, my ears are burning with the chatting of the crowd that is wandering out of the auditorium. There are parties and gatherings in the streets; betting is queued along the multi-coloured pathways; people are standing gossiping in groups- and the name that is on all their lips is 'Katniss!'

'Well it certainly is a new tactic.' Finnick's comments as we walk back into the entrance of the training centre.

'But they know they can't both survive, right?' I say.

'Yeah but its new, I have never seen anything like it!' Axel says softly as we pass two mentors who nod their heads in our direction- I recognise them as those from eight.

'If Haymitch plays this right, we could see a winner.' Finnick murmurs as we pass by Enobaria, the mentor from two- she smiles her wickedly filed teeth at us, they catch the light and the gold inlaid in her fangs glistens.

'A winner from twelve, the first in like twenty-four years?' Axel asks, looking at Finnick.

'Yeah they have only one victor.'

'That's it?' I ask.

'That's it, there was a woman but she died a while back- just Haymitch…he seems in better shape this year…'

'It was an interesting twist.' Axel breathes.

'And the girl an eleven…its unheard of!' I exclaim as Finnick presses the button for the lift.

'What I wouldn't give to know what she showed them…' Axel murmurs.

'Same, they don't give elevens…'

'They don't give it for nothing…' Finnick says.

'So she must be a surprise?' I say.

'Yes, and that makes her a very dangerous piece.' Finnick concludes as the doors to the elevator open; I lean against the glass wall and press the emblazed digit 4; just as the doors begin to close and I close my eyes I hear a thud. I open my eyes suddenly, to see Johanna and Blight stepping into our lift.

'Well that was…' Johanna snaps.

'Oh we know.' Finnick interrupts.

'So what are going to do?' Blight says, looking to each of us.

'What can we do?' Axel says. 'It's done now, we have no more time; we just have to make the best of what we have because otherwise…'

'Haymitch will have a plan.' Finnick says as the lift begins to rise.

'And we can't change that!' I exclaim. 'We just have to see what we can do; Jo tell your two to stick to what they have planned- nothing changes she's be at the top of their kill list l would bet that she doesn't make it out the cornucopia- she's a threat!'

'Are you certain of this?' Johanna says.

'Think about it, the Careers will do anything to win and she has just become the biggest of threats; they have no choice.'

'She's right.' Blight says gruffly, nodding in my direction. 'She's the strongest and hey if she feels the same about him she has a major weakness…'

'But their scores?' Johanna says as the lift reaches floor 4.

'We can't change them Jo.' I murmur, placing my hand on her shoulder.

'How sick is it that we want these kids to die?' She breathes.

'We have no choice.' I murmur, pulling her into a hug.

'Still sick.' She murmurs into my shoulder; I can't disagree with her, as I pat her back and step out of her hug and out of the lift- as the doors shut I see her fist shoot out and connect with the glass.

'Is she always like this?' I ask Finnick.

'No something has changed this time around.'

'What do you mean?'

'It doesn't feel the same, there is something I just can't quite put my finger on.'

We find them in the lounge, sitting on either side of Mags- they look up at us as we enter and their smiles are somewhat brittle.

'You did good.' I murmur, looking from Hugo to Marina.

'We were nothing, we heard about the girl and boy…' Marina says softly. I look across to Finnick.

'I'm not going to lie to you Marina, its different they aren't the skinny kids Twelve normally ship out but tomorrow everyone is in the same position and you just have to survive the longest.'

'Cato wants her dead!' Marina blurts, covering her mouth with her hands.

'I'm not surprised.' I breathe.

'Do you think he'll get her?' Hugo says softly.

'I do.' I say turning to face Hugo. 'Run, as soon as the cannon sounds don't chance it.' I blurt.

'We have a plan Ay… I will survive tomorrow- this isn't my last night.' He says breathing hard.

'I believe you.' I murmur, looking away.

'Go and change out of that, shower and I'll have a supper prepared okay?' Finnick say.

'Sure.' Marina agrees as both her and Hugo stand and wander off to their rooms.

'They are not stupid.' Mags breathes.

'This could change everything.' Finnick says, rubbing his face somewhat harshly.

'Or nothing at all, we worry about it later for now we just have to worry about our two- if Twelve survives the bloodbath then we worry.' Axel says, somewhat harshly.

'Your right boy, I just fear what is to come.' Mags says softly, patting the cushion next to her for Axel to sit; as he sits she takes his hand in her wrinkled one.

'You know the capital son; you know the games I worry that they will force her to stay alive…to add to the drama…' She only slurs a couple of words, and I know without doubt she may be in fact right. I sit by her feet as Finnick takes Mags other side.

'What are our chances of getting them out?' I murmur, resting my head on my knees.

'Now I have no idea.' Finnick breathes, a wave of nausea washes over me.

'We have to be positive…' Axel begins.

'But also realistic son.' Mags interrupts. 'Ayda I wish I could tell you one will come home with us but my dear we can only hope.'

'How do I let them go?' I whisper.

'By believing in them.' Finnick murmurs.

'We have no choice but to send them but what we must do is believe and hope they stand a chance and do everything in our power to help them.' Mags says softly.

'I wasn't ready for this.' I say into my knees.

'None of us are darling.'

'At least when you're a tribute you go in and you live it...this…'

'Is even worse.' Finnick finishes for me.

'Yes because we are pointless, until after tomorrow morning- we cannot help them survive!' I blurt out.

'No, we just watch and hope.' Finnick says softly.

I sit at the dinner table, as a hearty supper is being served. There is two stews that smell delightful, a big bowl of rolls, some pastries and even some of the pizza we had on my first day back in the Capital.

'Well this does look delightful!' Kizzy simpers as she takes a long sip from her glass.

'Yes it does look lovely!' Misty agrees, ladling herself out some of the stew and grabbing a handful of the rolls.

'Our last supper…' Marina says, her words hand in the air like a sword somewhat suspended above our heads.

'Before tomorrow it is.' Mags says softly, taking a mouthful of her own stew.

'No it is, we won't see this again…'

'Will you just shut up?!' Hugo shouts, his voice somewhat gaining in pitch.

'Hugo…' I murmur.

'No! She doesn't get it: I don't want to die I am twelve- she has a better chance than me and she goes around saying all this; I don't want to think about it!' He shouts, standing abruptly from the table.

'Well you better think about it! Its going to happen, tomorrow we go in there and we probably won't come out!' Marina hisses.

'Now stop!' Finnick says sharply, putting a hand on Hugo's shoulder and fixing Marina with a stare.

'Can everyone just sit and eat please?' I say calmly, stretching for another roll.

'Yes come and sit.' Mags says motherly, yet giving each of the tributes a stare; they sit: Hugo looks no-where but the table; and I can hear Marina's huffing- I take a deep breath.

'Okay please just stop this!' I breathe, letting my voice wobble uncertainly.

'Ay…' Axel begins, reaching for my hand, I take his hand.

'We have tonight, this is it where we are all together so stop arguing and fighting and just have this meal! Don't let this last night be a disaster!'

'Ayda is right, you need to remember that only one can come home; we'll never be whole again.' Misty says softly.

'We have tonight, so let's make it something you can hold onto.' Axel breathes.

'Something you can remember.' Finnick adds.

'So what we get a meal?' Marina says softly.

'You get to know you both mean something to us.' Finnick says.

'You aren't just the tributes from Four, your Marina and Hugo and you mean something.' Axel adds.

'Fight with everything you have, and remember we're doing everything we can to help you.'

'Is that the big piece of advice?' Hugo smirks.

'Yeah it is!' I laugh. 'Just with everything in you stay alive…'

The meal lasts almost too long; I can feel it in the air the countdown to the beginning of the games- I think we all can. I'm sitting on the couch with Hugo flicking through the huge book of Capital propaganda.

'Look at that!' I laugh; the picture is so very clearly staged of a group of fishermen standing smiling as they are watched by unhooded, smiling peacekeepers.

'It's all for show.' Hugo comments.

'When is it not?' I murmur- we are silent for a few moments flicking page to page.

'Ayda?' Hugo's voice is soft and tentative.

'Yeah?' I say looking from the book.

'Will you listen to me?'

'Yes Hugo.'

'Finnick won't, he doesn't want me to think this way but I think I have too…'

'Oh Hugo…'

'You said you'd listen!'

'Okay.' I breathe.

'If I die in there I want you to make sure my mother and father are okay, tell them that I'm okay and tell them anything to make it okay- tell them that I love them both and that I'm sorry…' I can feel the tears filling in my eyes.

'Oh Hugo!' I cry pulling him into a hug.

'I'm scared Ay, I'm so scared!' And he begins to sob into my jumper.

'Shh… Hugo I wish I could change this…' I murmur through my own tears.

'But you can't.' He whispers into my chest. 'And that means I'll probably die…the odds aren't in my favour Ayda…'

'Survive Hugo, do anything…hide, run, fight- come home to us.'

'Ayda if I do die will you please take me back to my parents?'

'I'll be certain too.' I agree, hugging him closer, so close that his curls of hair tickle my chin- we sit like this for an unmeasurable amount of time- my mind has never for a moment stopped crying.

'Hugo!' I hear Finnick shout.

'Go.' I whisper to Hugo as he sits up.

'Thank you Ayda.' He whispers, as he stands and kisses my cheek- and walks away. It's in this moment I realise this is probably the last time I'll see him before the beginning of the games.

'Hugo!' I call. His head pops back around the corner. 'Be brave and be safe.' He just nods and I hear his light tread against the wooden floor.

I sit with my eyes closed and my head back on the cushions; my mind a blur. I know I should be with Marina but I don't know where to start, I don't know what to say- and no matter how long I sit like this I can't find an answer.

'Ay!' Axel calls from somewhere outside my inner monologue. 'Ayda!' He says, rubbing my shoulder.

'What?' I say.

'Come on, we have a job to do.' He grabs my hand and hauls me from the chair, dragging me along somewhat as I come back to reality.

He knocks on Marina's door and her little voice says we can come in. She's lying on the huge bed on top of the abundance of comforters and pillows. The far wall is currently projecting the virtual image of a boat at sea; the waves seem to be somewhat lapping at the carpet. I sigh and drag my eyes away. She is pale and looks smaller than ever and I still have no idea what to say to her.

'Okay?' Axel says sitting down beside her on the bed, I sit on her other side; taking her hand I realise its stone cold- she only answers axel by a small shrug of her shoulders. 'Well I've got something for you, a token of such.' He reaches into his pocket and brings out a small silver chain and dangling from it is what looks like a glass phial; I raise my eyebrows and look at Marina who seems to be doing it also.

'Look.' He breathes, taking it out of the small baggie. As he moves his hand my eyes catch the glistening gold of what I know as sand; I look closer and notice the bottom layer a very small droplet of water but I know that if I was to place it on my tongue I would taste the salt of home.

'Oh…' I exclaim, and lock eyes with Axel

'Home?' Marina says looking between us.

'Yes.' Axel whispers, clipping the chain around Marina's neck- where it hangs somewhat like a choker.

'Hugo?' Marina whispers; I look to Marina and see nothing there but consideration and I feel something in me scream in anger of what is to come.

'He has one too.' Axel nods.

'It's perfect.' Marina whispers, I see her eyes fill.

'None of that!' I say quickly. 'You can do this; I believe in you.' I hug her close and Axel wraps his arms around the pair of us and it reminds me sickly of a family except this could be goodbye.

'What was your last night like Ayda?'

'What before the games?'

'Yes and be honest.' She says as if she can read my thoughts.

'The worst night of my life.' I whisper.

'Why?' She says pulling out of the hug. 'You've lost your parents since…'

'The uncertainty, the fact I had no idea what was coming… my mind wouldn't stop turning it was awful.'

'What do I do when I get in there?'

'Well obviously, stay on your plate till the gong sounds, and…' I take a breath. 'And kill.' I see her colour drain at my words.

'The more you kill the faster it will all be over.' Axel murmurs.

What if I can't?'

'Kill?' I ask.

'Yes.' She whispers.

'You find it in you.'

'But how?'

'I wish I knew; I killed a boy who was running from me…I didn't know but he was my first kill and I still can remember everything about him; I can remember throwing my weapon at him and just squeezing my eyes shut because I didn't want to see what I'd done but I didn't want to see myself die…I can remember jumping when the cannon sounded…it isn't easy, but when you kill know I'm behind you, and your making me proud because I believe in you.'

'Ayda?'

'Yeah?'

'Thank you for everything.'

'You don't…'

'Yes I do, both of you.' She says looking at Axel. 'You have both been so much more than a mentor and a stylist and I don't know why I got this but I did and I can't say thank you for what you have done…and if I die…'

'Marina…' I breathe.

'Listen, if I die know that I love you guys…'

'We love you too.' Axel says softly, as I grasp her hand in both of my own.

'Stay safe Marina. Be brave.' I whisper.

'Remember we believe you.' Axel murmurs.

I stand in my room facing the long mirror, looking at myself in all the Capital glory.

'It isn't right.' I mutter to myself, pulling the jumper over my head and removing my slacks. I move with robotic movements; taking a shower that works to unknot the tight muscles in my back and shoulders; the dryer I program to dry my hair so I wander out of the bathroom dressed in a soft night gown and a woollen robe that feels like heaven against my skin. I take a seat in front of the mirror, looking at myself without all the make-up- the only addition my nose ring something I hold onto as being part of me. I unscrew the lid off a pot of cream that's emblazed with the word face. I tap two fingers in and run them down my face smearing the cream; enjoying the feel of the smooth lotion washing against my eyelids, nose, lips- its therapeutic and helps me lift some of the weight that is heavy upon my shoulders. I feel like I have aged so very much in this week, it has been never ending yet so much is still to come.

'But will you get one home?' I murmur to myself.

And that is the thought I can't seem to escape, and however selfish and immoral it is my biggest fear is what will become of me if I don't get one home. How is one to cope when they return with two corpses?

I know my odds are so very slim and I know that it isn't going to be easy to lose one but I can't bring my mind to prepare for the possibility that they both die, that there is a world where both the youth of Hugo and the fire of Marina are both gone.

I meet my gaze in the mirror, the green of my eyes seems to be even brighter than usual- my eyes even wider than one would think possible. I push the pump of the hand cream and rub the cream in thoroughly till my hands smell pleasantly of lavender and are as smooth as fresh skin.

'Ayda?' Finnick's head appears around my door.

'Yeah?' I say looking up at him and trying to smile; he takes one look at me and doesn't pause just makes his way over to me opening his arms, I fly into them like I did when I saw him after my games.

 _I woke, and finally I was free of the restraints that had been keeping me pinned to the bed in the stark white room. I stretched in the bed, and feeling okay moved to stand from the bed- my legs I found were as strong if not stronger than they had ever been. I dressed in the garments that had been placed at the bottom of bed- a pair of thick cargo pants and a black t-shirt with a number four emblazed on the back. I'd went to the door and it had opened, taking that as a good sign I'd made my way down the twisting corridors until I'd turned and there they were: Mags, Finnick and Kizzy. My reaction was relief and I'd ran at Finnick and he'd opened his arms just in time to catch me and hug me close swinging me in a large circle. He'd kissed my head and I'd relaxed into his embrace believing myself as safe._

'So not so good?' Finnick murmurs.

'I'm fine just I don't know what I'll be like Finnick…if…when something happens to them…'

'No one ever knows, you just have to try and hold it together…'

'I know.' I sigh stepping out of his embrace, and sitting back in the chair.

'I'll be strong.' I say.

'I know you will.' He smiles as he wanders out my room and shuts the door behind him. I don't know how long I sit and watch my reflection in the mirror, turning my head this way and that.

'Hey…' Axel's voice comes from behind me.

'Hey.' I smile, as he lopes into the room and sits on the end of the bed.

'I know we have everything going on but I need to do your nails babe…'

'Why?'

'Cameras.' He answers, raising his eyebrows and making me smile.

'Better get started then.' I breathe.

And this is how we sit as he transforms my snapped, uncared for nails into ten perfectly rounded although somewhat scary in length nails that look weirdly very natural. I take a long look, appraising them all but smirking at Axel.

'I'll suppose they'll do…' I laugh.

'Yes they'll do.' Axel laughs back for a moment or two before we both stop and stare at each other, the weight of tomorrow suspended above us both.

'It will be okay Ay.' Axel murmurs, twisting our hands together.

'You can't know that.' I whisper.

'No I can't but what I do know is that we can't change it; we just have to be prepared.'

'I can't accept it though Ax…'

'But Darl you have to, if you don't it will destroy you…' Axel's words are soft but his look is as if he can see directly into my soul.

'It's hard.'

'It won't be any easier with everyone watching us… I'll stay away if you want?'

'No! I need you.' I say simply.

'Then I'll be with you.'

I don't know whether I move first or him but when our lips meet all my worries, doubts and fears are injected into our kiss; and I hear myself moan in relief. I bring my hands up into his hair, and undo the knot so his hair tumbles down in dark waves till they hang to his shoulders; somehow I'm standing in the gap between his legs, his hands trailing darkly down my sides. Our lips meet and the fireworks come alive in my body, so much so the chants of the Capital from outside my window all but disappear, tomorrow is sent to the back of my mind because in this moment my body is alive. I push back on him, so he falls taking me with him to the bed, he looks up at me with hooded eyes.

'You sure?' He breaths.

'I need this.' I say, as I bring my lips back to his with renewed passion.


	10. Chapter 10

I wake suddenly from a soft dream full of pastel shades with a start, I turn to see that the sky is just beginning to lighten. Axel's face is pressed into my neck and his breath softly touches my skin, warm and soothing. But my breathing is still ragged, and won't seem to lesson because today is the day- today is the day I have to let them go. I stare at the ceiling, feeling repulsed at myself for what I did last night, I should have stayed with Marina and helped her through this night, which I know only too well is the hardest night to survive- the hardest night to sleep through.

'You awake?' Axel breathes against my neck, I nod not breaking my look with the ceiling. 'Ayda you knew today was coming…' He sighs, pulling me impossibly closer.

'I didn't realise it would be so hard Ax, I thought I could do this but it's just a million times harder than I ever could have imagined.'

'I know Ay, and I wish you didn't have too…' His words hang in the air, heavy and painful.

'I know…' I whisper, sitting up and standing from the bed.

'There is an outfit in the wardrobe, on the left-hand side.' I walk, almost trancelike over to the huge armoire and open the decorated doors, and pull out the fine clothing bag.

'Why do I need this?' I ask without thinking.

'I think you know…'

'Not today? That's not fair, it's not right.'

'Is any of this remotely fair, or right?'

'Fair point.' I breathe.

'Sit down, I'll get you sorted with hair and makeup.' I look over to the little ticking clock and see its six. 'Yeah, they get the tributes up at seven, so probably best we get sorted now anyways.'

I sit like a statue as the brushes caress my face, and the heavy padded brush runs through my hair; with my eyes closed I relax into the moment thinking of nothing more than getting through the day. That's what today is, one of the things Haymitch told me on my very first day here was that the first day of the games was one that could only be watched, mentors are nothing until day one is survived because sponsors won't do anything till the bloodbath is well and truly over.

'There we go…' Axel breathes, his breath warming my face. I open my eyes and take in my reflection: take in the soft flicks, the perfectly blended pinks intermingled with grey on my eyelids; my brows subtly enhanced; the thick array of lashes that somehow manage to make my emerald eyes all the more green in contrast to the black; my lips outlined and tinted making them look all the more plumped and desirable; my face contoured and highlighted to give me definition and curves that didn't before exist; and the whole thing smoothed out with the sweep of soft colour along my cheekbones. My hair is braided along the top in two thick plaits that join on my crown and become a thick and heavy ponytail, that reaches my waist; there is a shimmer of gold in the braids as the soft light catches the golden pins which hold in the heavy braiding.

'It's beautiful…as always…' I whisper, smiling softly.

'Your beautiful always…with not one exception.' He says softly.

'Thank you.' I murmur.

'No need to thank me…'

'Not for that, but for all of this… for being here when…'

'Shh…' He whispers, placing his forehead gently against my own.

We sit for many moments like this, him bend and me sitting; until some unspoken moment in which we both move back and I stand from my chair and walk over to the bed and the all but forgotten garment bag. I take the zipper in my hand, and slowly pull it down revealing a beautiful intricate blouse and an equally beautiful skirt combination. Soft what I believe is satin, each embellished with a beautiful pattern of interlocking swirls made up of glittering sequins and what looks almost like small buttons. The shirt front holds five very large gold buttons that contrast well against the pink satin fabric and its feminine pallet of embellishments- there is also one single golden button on the back of the short skirt, helping to conceal the small array of little buttons that help to secure the skirt together.

'It's probably the best yet.' I sigh, as I take in my reflection in the mirror, with the tight thigh high leather boots and the just visible decorative pattern of my rose thigh highs- I look capital ready.

'I aim to please.' Axel whispers softly against my pulse, before planting a soft kiss.

'We better get going…' I say as I look over at the clock and noticing the hour.

I walk out of my room and leave Axel to change into his outfit of the day; for today only I get to see Marina before the games so I follow the decorated corridors till I find her room; enter and find her perched on the corner of the bed staring blankly at the assemblement on the end of her bed.

'Morning.' I whisper softly.

'Morning…' She says softly, her voice somewhat breaking.

'I know…'

'How?' She almost snarls.

'Because I've been there, I've done this!' I say back, stepping into her room and shutting the door. 'Now go and shower, while I get you some breakfast!' I instruct, and probably by surprise she follows my instructions and wanders into the en-suite bathroom and before I can begin to speak into the mouth piece I hear the sound water from the shower. I walk over the intercom built into the wall, and mumble an order consisting of an array of breakfast items that would probably feed a few families. Within a couple of minutes my food arrives in the slot, and as I pull out the tray and place it upon the bed and place the cups of tea and glasses of juice on the nightstand, Marina wanders out, wearing a thick white robe as her hair flows in a soft abundance of curls.

'Breakfast.' I announce and take a seat on her bed, taking a sip of tea. She sits beside me, and picks up a bowl of porridge and starts to eat in small mouthfuls with a shaking hand.

'Stop it.' I say softly. 'You're ready, don't forget that.'

'I can't do it!' She shouts, throwing down the bowl and spoon so that the porridge spill over the bed linen. 'I can't go in there! I can't kill people! I don't want to die!' She shouts getting louder with each bellow.

'You have too!' I shout back, even louder.

'I can't!'

'You have to kill people, you have to it's the only way to survive this!' I say with authority. 'Trust me, that's the only way you'll live through this.'

'There is twenty-four of us, and only one comes out…' She whispers softly.

'And if kill and survive, then that will be you!' I say with as much fever as I can muster.

'How do I kill people…how do you take someone's life…' She hypothesises.

'You just do, when you're in that situation there is nothing you won't do to survive- all the moral judgements go when it's a race to survive.'

'I struggle to believe that…'

'Well it's true, I didn't want to kill people but I did.' I say softly. 'Be brave Marina.' I stand and place my tea back on the nightstand and go to her wrapping her in a hug. 'Be brave, I believe in you.' I step back and look at the pile of clothing that has found its way to the floor during her little moment. I bend down and pick up the garments.

'Did Axel make these?' She asks, reaching out to touch the fabric.

'No not these…' I murmur as I get her to strip out of the dressing gown so she stands in only the plain underwear the capital gifted her with. She pulls on the pants one leg at a time, they fit her perfectly I help her loop the belt through the hoops and make sure it sits comfortably on her hips. I hold the plain vest up and she pulls it on over her bra, it sits just long enough to tuck into the waist of her pants; the t-shirt goes on layering over her pants. I get her to sit and put each of her socks on and lace her boots up carefully as I press her to each and drink as much as she can hold. I sit her down in the dressing table chair and take in the small array of plain bands, I pull her hair up into a high pony tail, noticing that it's still somehow manages to reach her waist much like my own.

'Leave it.' She murmurs, raising her shaking hand to touch mine. 'It's a little bit of me.' I nod, looking at her in the mirror and take two and the pins and insert then each at opposite angles in the centre of the bobble holding her hair in. She looks at me questioningly, as I push in the second one.

'Trust me.' I say smiling.

'You know I do.' She says back giving me a weak smile.

'Right.' I say with a soft sigh, looking to the clock which reads twenty past eight. 'I need to get you into the loading hovercraft by a quarter to nine.' I see her eyes go wide, and her shaking becomes so much more severe.

'Hey, hey look at me!' I say moving by her side and grabbing her chin in between my fingers, so she has no choice but to look at me. 'You can do this!'

I push her to eat more, making her eat: half a slice of toast, a portion of broth, an apple and some dried fruit all by eight thirty.

'You ready?' I ask eyeing the time, knowing that now is the moment to part ways.

Her head stiffly nods, as she pulls herself up from the chair and drains the glass of orange juice in her hand. We walk in silence out of her room, as she takes in the apartment; I can see her eyes flicking to and fro as they try and remember each precious part of the place she has called home for the last few days; we ride down into the bowels of the training centre, even lower than we went for the chariot parade still in silence. It's as the doors open, she grips my hand and she half walks and half has to be dragged by me out onto the hovercraft port. I turn and grip her shoulders in my hands tightly, making her look at me.

'You can do this Marina! I know you can okay? Be strong and be brave and I will see you when this is over!' I say with conviction, as I pull her shaking form into a hug. I watch with tears pricking in my eyes as she walks away into the mouth of the hovercraft her form looking all the more tiny and despite myself a tiny part of me is thinking whether or not this is the last time I will ever see her.


	11. Chapter 11

I can barely see as I step back into the lift, and press the button for our floor; I try to blink back my tears, knowing in my heart that this isn't the worst- it's not even close. I know today is going to be a personal horror of my own; it's not just having to watch my tributes- it's the fact its only making my games all the more terrifyingly clear in my head.

 _The pound of the gong when the games opened; the screams, the cries, the killing. I had in that moment found a part of me without my moral code and I too found myself able to run, to grab, to survive. The terror clock beating inside, running faster than I ever believed I could possibly move- the fear building up inside ready and waiting to explode. I ran, and ran till I could barely breathe and my heart was drumming in my chest at almost the speed of light, I was parched my mouth dry as bone; it took me what felt like a lifetime to find water and to replenish that in which I had ran dry but all that was nothing in comparison._

The lift stops at my floor, I walk out into the empty apartment and it feels hollow; like someone has taken away everything of meaning and just left behind a shell. I take a seat in one of the chairs and place my elbows to my knees before resting my face in my hands- breathing slowly in through my nose and out from my mouth, I find some form of normality but my heart is like a drum in my chest and my head is not dissimilar to a stopwatch ticking down the time until it all begins, when the gong will sound again. I feel someone near me, I raise my head slightly and notice a young looking Avox holding a teacup and a saucer in her hand; I accept them graciously, and smile weakly at her taking a sip with a sigh of relief.

'You done too?' The voice comes from behind me and is one I know only too well.

'Yeah done…' I sigh as Johanna comes around and sits herself on the couch.

'It's a bitch, isn't it?'

'How do you do it?'

'You want my top tips?' She says her voice somewhat husky with sarcasm.

'I'll take anything.' I laugh sadly.

'You just do, when you won this you did things you never thought you could and now you have to do exactly the same.' Her voice is so very different, its soft and somewhat gentle; it's the same Johanna who I spoke to when it all got too much, it's the Johanna who is my friend.

'It's not what you expect, is it?' I say, taking a sip of my tea; watching as she pulls at the waistband of her pants and pulls on her shirt.

'Your boy has a good eye.' She sighs. 'No, it's nothing like you expect, it hurts but at a point you forget what it's like to care.'

'But you still try?'

'Of course, I do, this is only my third year I still have hope.'

'How do you cope when they…' The words hang heavy in the air around us.

'You just do, you move forward…somehow.'

'It's sick.' I breathe.

'Yeah but what the fuck can we do?'

We sit in silence each in our own thoughts, as Johanna is passed a tall cup of coffee and the automatic Capital channel flashes each tributes photo and odds on a constant slideshow. It isn't until Finnick shows up not twenty minutes later we look away from the screen.

'Morning.' He says softly, walking over and sitting beside Johanna.

'Morning.' We both say back.

I turn to the clock and notice it reads twenty past nine.

'Where do we need to be, when all this starts?' I ask.

'Down stairs, I think we better go soon as the cameras will be waiting; as well as our adoring fans!' Johanna spits.

'Lovely.'

I take a final sip of my now cold tea and place it on the coffee table, and stand straightening my skirt and taking a calming breath.

'I best go and get Blight…'

'One step ahead.' A voice says from beside the lift.

'Aren't you always!' She smirks, as we wander in the direction of the lift and step inside. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I can't help wring my hands, until Johanna loops one of my arms through hers and pulls me close to her side.

'Relax.' She breathes softly in my ear.

Blight and Finnick share a look, with Finnick giving a tiny nod of his head.

'What?' I say a little sharply.

'Nothing.' Finnick says quickly.

'Tell me now!'

'What is it?' Johanna hisses.

'Rumour is this year's bloodbath is going to be one of the worst yet, and I'm slightly unsure as to whether she is going to cope.'

Blight's words hit me hard but Johanna just unlinks her arm with mine and instead throws her arm over my shoulder.

'She'll be fine, gave her a break it's her first year…'

The lift doors open and I gasp at the difference, the opening floor is filled with people. Hundreds of people all roped off into pens with only a narrow pathway for us to walk through. The screams of our names start softly as we step out, but before I have even got my bearings they are a tidal wave of noise that is too the point of deafening. The flashes of camera light are like fireworks that come from every angle and catch us off guard, it's all I can do to place one foot in front of the other and smile, hoping my smile isn't nearly as manic as I feel. I follow Johanna, smiling in the general direction of the screams of my name that are clear enough to understand- I'm blinded by the flashing of the cameras and the fact the people just seem to be never ending as we weave our way out of the main atrium of the training centre and pass through the doors of what looks like a betting office. Its only as we pass through two final doors that the crowds cease to exist and the only shouts come from overhead- I look up and notice the ceiling to be made purely of glass and that a throng of people are watching us from above.

'Now that's just creepy.' I comment.

'Too true sister.' Johanna agrees, brushing some invisible lint from her shirt front.

'So, what is this place?'

'Basically, it's a private place we watch the games, and out there is where we go to find our sponsors.' Blight says pointing back through the doors.

'What I have to go back out there?' I ask incredulously, my mind replaying the maddened crowd.

'Yep, fun being attractive and popular, isn't it?' Finnick quips.

We wander further into the room, on a main wall is huge television screen that has a countdown to the games- it covers an entire wall and is bigger in width than some people's houses. We turn a corner and I see lots of individual booths, twelve to be exact- each with a door.

'Those are where we watch our tributes.' Blight says from behind me. 'The main screen is where you go if you want an overall view of the games or if both your tributes die but the booths are where we can purely watch our tributes.'

'Well that's considerate of them…' I hiss softly.

'Yep, they are lovely like that.'

Finnick stops in front of the door which has an emblazed four on the door, and it opens at his touch. The room is much bigger than I imagined, and is complete with a couch, two large TVs (both currently playing the same countdown as the one in the main room) and even has an array of other items to make the place comfortable. The floor is a soft carpet that looks to be fur; and the walls are hung with an expensive paper which looks of intricately drawn flowers on black each outlined in gold, there even hangs a huge gold mirror on the far wall.

'Wow…' I breathe.

'Yeah I know.' Johanna says, squeezing my arm. 'Right so we're down there okay?' She pulls me in for a hug, and I hug her back tightly- reminding myself that Johanna isn't that much older than myself.

I follow Finnick into the room after Blight squeezes my shoulder.

'You ready?' He says as he settles into the leather reclining seat in front of the screens, I take the seat next to him.

'If I can be…' I sigh.

'We've just got to do all we can.' He murmurs.

The ten-minute warning beeps out of the screen.

'Let's go and get some tea.' He suggests and we both wander out of the room, and down a short corridor and pick up the already made tea and coffee. I sit back in the chair and take an absent-minded sip of my tea, and rest my head against the head-rest.

The five-minute warning sounds.

'Finnick…'

'Yeah?'

'Thank you.'

'What for?'

'For helping me.'

'Nothing wrong with getting a little help Ay.'

The screen begins to lighten, and Claudius Templesmith voice echoes around the room- welcoming the viewers to what he predicts will be a very exciting and thrilling year. In a second the screen changes and I get my first look at what terrain the tributes face this year- it is what looks like a forest on one side with a wheat field on the other and huge lake in the middle near the cornucopia. I sigh knowing my tributes have no real knowledge of this type of terrain and if there is any threat among the food sources unless they have learnt it in training which I very much doubt.

It's as my inner monologue ticks on in my head, I see the tributes rising onto their podiums and a part of me smiles knowing that both Marina and Hugo have been in the company of Axel and Misty. I spot Hugo straight off his thick mane of curls drawing my attention, I spy Marina within a second more- her face is set like when she came onto the train, and I know in some part of her she is preparing herself for the inevitable kills.

'Ladies and Gentleman, let the seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!' Claudius' voice echoes; and the countdown begins- those sixty seconds where I know each tribute is taking in the other; it is as the countdown clock reaches 30 that our screens zoom in one on Marina and one on Hugo- it all makes it a little too real.

The time ticks.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

I can barely breathe.

Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

The gong rings out.


	12. Chapter 12

**Reviews?**

I can't breathe, I can barely think. My grip has doubled on the sides of the chair, my knuckles white and my heart pounding like a drum in my chest; my breathing is little more than violent pants that I have no control of.

The tributes are running, faster and faster. The cornucopia is just a battle of bodies; fighting, running, trying to stay alive.

Marina is running towards the centre of the cornucopia; her hands find a long blade- a heavy knife that's got a curved tip which would hook any potential victim. She's running back into the bloodbath, blood is everywhere the ground is thick with it and there is no mercy. Her face says it all, I can see the indecision; can see that she is unsure as to whether she can kill or…

And now that's all over, she rips the blade from the throat of the girl from Seven who came at her, dousing herself in…

 _The girl from seven…_

Oh God, Johanna…

'Oh…' Finnick breathes next to me.

'What?' I ask quickly, my mind turning over thought upon thought.

'That's both of seven…'

And that mean…

'Hugo.' I breathe.

I can't comprehend what I have just seen. I can't think about anything except the fact Marina may have just killed her district partners only hope of survival…

I can't pull my eyes away from Finnick's screen, even though I should be watching my own I can do nothing except watch little Hugo hidden in the tree line, my only thoughts are for him to run; to run away from the bloodbath- for him to live another day. I shut my eyes, sending up a silent prayer; hoping that God is listening and will grant this perfect youth another day.

'Hugo no!' Finnick shouts, shocking me from my prayer of hope, I look up at the screen and I too make a sound of pain. Instead of escaping, Hugo has made his way into the very heart of the cornucopia; somehow unscathed.

'What is he doing?' I say loudly, standing from my chair and leaning in at the screen. His eyes are bright, and full to the rim of fear. I can look nowhere but at the eyes that still hold with them considerable amounts of youth, and childhood- his baby fat is even more apparent to me now than ever- and I know in my heart that I will need a miracle for him to survive the next few minutes. His curls bob up and down as he spins grabbing a bag and a knife from an array on the wall; spending what I know is too long picking at the piles of survival tools that have been laid out. My heart is beating way to fast, my breath is coming out in small pants because I know without a doubt he is taking too long.

'Move Hugo…just move.' I breathe.

But he doesn't and all I can do is watch as he picks at another knife; another bag of food…and as he hides behind some huge boxes when he hears feet. I watch him with everything in me, hoping that my sheer stare will be enough to protect and to keep him alive. I watch as that huge boy from two, Cato sweeps into the centre; as he runs his finger along the boxes and as smiles wickedly at himself. I send a million mental prayers, in hope one of them will be answered. I sweep my eyes quickly to Finnick to see him frozen, with his hands knotted in fists at his side and his teeth nipping painfully at his lip.

I flick back to the screen taking in just how tiny Hugo is, how wild his perfect curls are and just how unfair this whole thing is. It's as I think these thoughts, he moves and a sound that's pain, anger, regret comes from me without conscious thought. He looks to his left as he moves, and in doing so I cry out because he has missed Cato. He stumbles back into a pile of boxes, sending them flying across the cornucopia. His eyes are like saucers, as he looks at Cato- the hulking mass of muscle that I know he understands means his death and although I know I should look away I can't rake my eyes away from the screen in front of me. He keeps taking tiny steps back, as Cato watches him with a sick look in his eyes and smile at his lips- the hatred I feel for that boy is burning at my blood, as I watch him calculating the fear inside Hugo. Cato advances, taking long strides until he within a breath of Hugo, I see Hugo's eyes fill with tears; see his chin begin to wobble as the whole acre of fear comes over him. I watch as Cato drops his weapon and pounces at Hugo who makes a pained scream; within a breath Cato has Hugo pressed against him and with just the smallest twist of his muscles he breaks Hugo's neck and the crack echoes around both me and Finnick alike.

 _And with that a message beeps in Finnick's screen._

 _As the Status of Hugo changes from Alive to Dead._

 _And his time freezes at 00:00:21:13_

'No!' I scream. 'Oh my god no…please no…' I sob.

'Shit.' Finnick breathes, as he flicks his eyes over to me and I see in his the sparkle of tears.

'He was a baby…' I whisper. I turn my head back to my screen to see Marina; and the sight of her shocks me to my core- she's laughing. Laughing with Cato, as he points to the tiny broken body of Hugo.

'What the…' I say, my voice laced with anger. 'What the hell is she doing?'

Her eyes are cold and dark, she is cleaning her knife on corner of her jacket. Smiling at Cato and laughing. I turn up the volume of my screen, knowing now that it need not matter whether Finnick's screen can be heard or not.

' _...nothing but a twist of the arm!'_ Cato laughs, making me shake with anger.

' _He was pathetic!'_ Marina laughs, nudging him with her toe.

I turn the volume down, beyond able to even think about the three words I've just heard come out her mouth; she has sickened me- I cannot bare to look at her. I cannot bare to even think about helping her. It's as I shake my head in disgust, the door behind me opens banging against the wall.

'Have you seen what she has just done?' Johanna snarls, her voice vicious.

'Yes…' I sigh, I can feel the beginning of a headache forming at my temples.

'At least she has their trust now.' Finnick says softly.

'Yeah blood hungry or what?' Blight snaps.

'Has their trust…' I breathe.

'What was that?' Johanna asks, as I fall back into my seat deep in thought; my eyes glued to the screen.

'She has their trust…it's an act…'

'Ayda I know you…' Blight begins. I turn to look at Finnick.

'You know she can act, and you know something else- you know she wants to comes home…maybe this is all just a way of her…'

'Getting the best possible protection.' Johanna surprises me by finishing my sentence.

'Yes exactly, pretending to be something I know she isn't.' I fee somewhat lighter than air, now I've worked this out because I know it's true and she isn't the cold-blooded monster I thought.

'Like me pretending to be weak.' Johanna sighs.

'That's a dangerous tactic.' Blight says, taking a seat of the couch and stretching out. 'People might not like that…'

'Fuck that. They love the blood hungry, the Capital will be loving it.' Johanna is right, they will love the fact she is turning against her district all in aim of the games- all they want is a good show.

'Right then between us we have one tribute, how about we keep her alive?' Finnick says softly, looking at Johanna and Blight.

'Is this even allowed?' Blight queries.

'Do I even care? No I don't! I'll help.' Johanna says, sitting down on the arm of my chair.

'Well then maybe four of us can get one out.' Blight sighs.

'In this place, I really don't know.

Time does in fact pass. Even when one would not expect it too as darkness parades on the arena the capital's seal appears in the sky and I watch as Marina watches from her sleeping bag near the lake. Eleven dead in one day- almost half gone I mere hours. Seeing Hugo's face is like slap, and I can't rid myself of the feeling that went through me when I saw in his eyes the knowledge that he was going to die.

It's also very surprising what can happen in the games; and these games seem to be the most surprising yet. Some random turn of events has led to the district twelve boy becoming part of the careers; something none of us could even begin to comprehend as it is as yet unheard of in the whole 74-year history of the games.

I find myself sometimes watching him, as Finnick's screen now just plays the games from a viewer's point of view. He is part of their group purely so they find and kill the girl from Twelve. Cato's plan, is that he will be able to direct them to her and in so he will be able to kill them both; something the girl from One -Glimmer- is somewhat sceptical about but even from my viewpoint I know Glimmer and Cato have something far more pressing on their minds; something which is clear from Glimmer's flirtatious giggling and frequent touches.

It is now with just me and Johanna left in the little room, I feel somewhat light; knowing that she is as safe as she could possibly be and in a much healthy state than many others.

'Do you think he really likes her?' I say to Johanna, watching the boy from Twelve as he's bedded near Marina.

'What?'

'Do you think all this with Twelve is true? Do you think he really likes her?'

'Well he's in the band who's going to kill her, so I'm going to say no.' Johanna laughs softly. 'Unless he's a lot smarter…'

'Or Haymitch is?' I gamble.

'What do you mean?'

'Well we planned for Hugo and your two, maybe Haymitch and the boy came up with plan.'

'That's pretty far-fetched!' Johanna laughs, making me chuckle too despite myself.

'It's been a long day!' I say in defence.

'Whatever A, I still love you…' She sighs smiling softly.

'Why than…'

'What they doing?' Johanna's snap, brings me back to the games.

'Smoke, they are following that fire.' I say pointing to screen in front of Johanna.

'Lovely.'

We watch them move like a well-armed team; with the boy from district three staying behind to stay guard. Any thoughts I had of sleep are well and truly gone as I can't rip my eyes away from the screen in front of me, as they make their way into the woods- they walk a purpose; heading directly to the poor little girl who has lit her fire. _District Nine's girl._

I watch them get closer to her, and I can't keep my eyes away as they go in for the kill nor can I stop my gasp as I look at Johanna's screen and see that the girl from Twelve is perched up high in a tree; having just heard her district partner alert them to the fact he'd spied one of her snares. The bickering goes back and forth between the Career tributes when he goes back to finish off the girl from Nine that Cato didn't kill enough. The power Cato has over them seems wrong, but the look in Marina's eyes tells me she's biding her time for something.

And that's it, they find somewhere spacious and sleep.

The elevator ride up to my floor is soothing, as she has survived the day.

'See you tomorrow?' I smile at Johanna.

'Yeah I'll see you tomorrow.'

And as I crawl under the sheets with Axel, wrapped in his arms I feel something as delicate as a soap bubble and just as beautiful rise up inside me- hope.


	13. Chapter 13

It's funny, even though you don't expect time to move fast when your waiting for something fatal, it does. It still stampedes ahead, leaving you whiplashed and breathless. Three days have gone by and still Marina is alive; and weirdly enough well fed. Yes, she has killed. And yes, she has showed herself to be beyond merciless; yet all the more weirdly it's made the Capital look at her with interest, look at her as more than just an extra to the Career pack. There have been a few random turns in this year's games that have surprised me more than anything else.

One has been the ridiculously complex way the careers are protecting their food; the pyramid surrounded by the dug up and reconnected bombs that surround the podiums. It's so well thought out and well beyond what I'd even expect of them.

Second is the fact the boy from Twelve is playing a game; and not with the love affair…well I don't think, but he is in fact playing the careers and has made this games a whole new ball game.

Oh and not to forget the third and fourth random turns- both of District Eleven. Somehow the little one is like a bird the way she flies tree to tree, and she's so small people aren't even noticing as she sits and watches them from high up in the branches. And the boy well he's no weak one, not that ever expected but still he poses a big threat, like bigger than big! He's ruthless, and skill wise competent- something about just draws me to believing him as a threat.

But all of that doesn't even contend with the girl from Twelve, Katniss. She's a threat, she's hyper aware of her surroundings and although her death count is still zero I don't think it will stay that very long. She's quick and something about her just screams out danger- it helps that her score of eleven says a lot about her character. They are hunting her, but the boy he's smart and lethal with words; he's able to move them all with just the words that fall from his tongue.

So, day four is where we are, in a very strong position. Johanna and I watch, whilst Blight watches from the outside screen listening to the Capital and their opinions and that leaves Finnick- Finnick is on hand if we need a sponsor, he can just about persuade anyone. So far, we have given her nothing except a light balm for her hand to help heal a cut she got in the bloodbath. This is what is weird, in everything the count of tributes keeps getting lower and lower and…

'Oh shit.' I breathe.

'What?' Johanna snaps looking up from her sandwich.

'Bingo, they have her.'

'What Katniss?'

'Yep.' I breathe pointing to the top corner.

'Lovely.'

I watch as they cheer and laugh as Katniss pulls herself from the water haven't just been thoroughly burned by a 'bush fire', I sit with bated breath waiting to see if the plan will in fact work out and whether one of the most scheming poorer district teams will be out schemed.

'Why would she climb?' I breathe, as I watch her start to make her way up the tree climbing higher and higher; but making herself prisoner to them.

'Let's hope they have a cannon ready!' Johanna laughs, somewhat cruelly.

The scene plays out before us and I'm right about Twelve she's smart; she's high enough in the tree limbs they can't come after her and she even jokes which I know for a fact will play well with the Capital audience who already love her! I am beyond mystified as they agree with the boy to wait her out, unable to understanding how they aren't seeing through his bluff when they are quick enough to argue between themselves- I think Cato may be blind sighted by his need to rid himself of his biggest opponent. The hours fall away and as the group gets comfortable, none surprisingly setting up a watch system as they moon shines through the clouds Katniss's discomfort is clear to see; her burns are vicious and violent- bubbled blisters already visible to the eye.

'Nice, looks like a long night.' Johanna sighs, and a part of me can't help but agree because I can't see a quick fix as Twelve ropes herself into a tree and all but the boy bed down for the night; I can't help but smile at Johanna's comments about Glimmer and Cato.

'What the fuck they playing at? You just know they would kill each other in a heartbeat!' She says cynically making me chuckle.

'Yes, lie in his arms, he would cut your throat before he let you go home instead of him.'

'You can't flirt your way out of this one.'

'Johanna, you make better commentary than Caesar and Claudius put together!' I chuckle as the night wears on.

'I'd like to put my axe in their faces.' She spits, which only makes me hysterically laugh.

'What's so funny?' I hear behind me.

'Axel!' I smile, bounding over to him and planting a swift kiss on his lips.

'Yeah I'm here to relieve you's or join the party apparently!' He laughs good-naturedly as he takes my chair and I balance myself on his lap which has become our ritual when I'm late at night.

'Join the party handsome.' Johanna laughs, standing from her chair. 'although I'm going on a hunt for snacks.'

As she leaves I feel the room around us quieten and the peace and tranquillity is nice as I lie in Axel's arms.

'Did something just move in the trees?' Axel says suddenly, as I feel myself dozing off.

'What?'

'Look right next to the tree Twelve is in.' He points and it takes me a few more seconds to notice the shadow; a small willowy shadow- which could almost be taken as a large bird.

'Rue.' I breathe.

'Huh? What's she doing up there?'

'She's always near Twelve, must be keeping watch or something.'

'She's popular out there.'

'Who Rue?' I say in disbelief.

'No idiot, Katniss.'

'Yep she is.' Johanna calls as she comes into the room along with an Avox; who's carrying a large tray filled with three cups and a plate of decorative cakes. 'They love an underdog and rumour is she's just received a parachute.'

'What I've been watching!'

'Marina, not Katniss look!' Johanna scrolls in on her screen and before my eyes I see twelve rubbing a balm onto her burns.

'That isn't no cheap medicine that's…'

'A problem.' Finnick finishes for me from the door. 'Obviously the public like her, her odds are better than Glimmer's.'

'She obviously has a support system, everyone is talking about her.'

'And the obvious one is Haymitch knows it, he's sobered up.'

'He's sobered up?' I question, looking to Blight.

'Haymitch deals with this all with drink, since the year after he won he's mentored two twigs from Twelve and every year they die…some point in that he began to drink and now he drinks himself into oblivion every single year but this year something has changed.'

'They're fighters, I've been watching the games since I was kid and twelve has never scored this high in all that time; they are lucky to get four or even a five let alone an eight and an eleven!' Axel says, looking around. 'And the Capital have never paid this much attention to them.'

'What you saying?' Finnick says softly.

'That I think this may be an even more interesting year.' He says each word slowly as if he is picking them purposely.

'You sound like a game maker.' Johanna says accusingly. 'Like your enjoying this, are you?'

'You know I'm not!' He spits, sighing he takes a breath and tightens his grip on me. 'What I'm saying is that I have never seen the Capital go this wild over two from the poorest district…'

'You think there is something bigger at play, don't you?' Finnick says softly.

'Not at play, just the possibility that something can change.'

I sit just watching, sipping my tea and thinking it all through. What has interested me most is the knowledge of Haymitch and his sobriety, something about that speaks volume and I can't help but feel that this year may be the year he gets a partner in his victors' title. Through all the talk around me I can feel my eyelids drooping and as comfortable as I am I just give myself to sleep- at least for a little while.

'What's she doing?!'

'Finnick they are fucking Tracker Jackers!' Johanna spits as I blink wildly trying to wake myself up.

'What the hell?' I say softly, sleep masking my voice.

'Trouble.' Johanna spits as she sits her eyes glued to the screen.

I blink a few more times and sit up in Axel's lap as he too pulls himself from sleep. I train my eyes to my screen and see that Marina is still very much alive and try and register the problem. Its only as I flick my eyes to the other screen it all clicks together.

' _Finnick they are fucking Tracker Jackers!'_ Johanna's voice echoes in my head.

'Is that a nest?' Axel says before me.

'Yep and if I'm right the plan is to drop it on them all.' I watch as Twelve saws her way through the branch as the capital seal is in the sky- stopping momentarily as the seal disappears.

'She's clever, making minimal sound- they have no idea what's going to hit them.' Finnick breathes, watching my screen as Marina sleeps soundly her cleaver tightly gripped in her hand.

'What do we do?' I say with urgency.

'Wait to see how it plays.' Finnick says with a saddened smile.

'Let's just hope they notice it before it drops, those are nasty little things hurt like a bitch.' Johanna says, rubbing absentmindedly at her arm obviously transported back to her games.

'Yeah if they don't kill them first, a nest dropped down whilst their asleep? They best like to run.' I say on a sigh, as I too watch Marina's sleeping form. 'That cleaver isn't going to help her, is it?' I say to no reply.

The night goes so very slow, everyone tired but far too stressed to sleep. We drink our way through a mountain of coffee and tea; eating the plates of cakes one after the other, tasting nothing but the sugary energy. Time goes by so very slowly when waiting for the inevitable, each tick of the hand feels like an hour has to have past; I'm unsure as to how I'm going to survive this night- the wait is so very painful. I lie back my head against the headrest, staring at the screen watching her sleeping form and waiting for dawn.

'Hey.' Axel breathes sometime later, as the room has for some time been so quiet, you could hear a single pin drop.

'Hey.' I say turning my head so we're eye to eye.

'How you holding up?' He says looking me deep in the eyes, as if he can read my very thoughts.

'Honestly, I don't know…Hugo was awful but I think a part of me expected it to happen…but Marina…'

'I know.'

'Like they are only Tracker Jackers but still it will weaken her.'

'I know.' It's at his words I curl my head into his shoulder and let his arms envelope me and some part of unconsciousness finds me and sleep is more than welcome…I think.

'I need the bathroom.' I say stretching from Axel's lap and making my way out of the door checking quickly that Marina is still sleeping soundly. I with a renewed energy make my way to the high-class bathroom and use the facilities, taking the time to splash my face in cool water and pull my hair up into a high ponytail- I look somewhat okay for having spent the night sleeping on a chair in Axel's arms. A quick look at the hour makes me realise it's still before dawn, I wander out of the bathrooms and into the main console room smiling up and waving at the few people who even at the early hour are standing by the glass. Shaking my head I make my way into the food court, enjoying the change of scenery and the fact the food smells so good my stomach begins to rumble. Despite the early hour, there is food ready and waiting so as I scoop up some eggs along with toast, an Avox prepares me a tea which I take over to one of the window seats that looks out to the entrance of the betting hall. I watch out the window as I eat my breakfast and sip at my tea, spending much longer than usual eating my breakfast enjoying the relative calm. The big screens above the entrance way shows the remaining tributes and their odds, in big lettering that can be read clearly even from my advantage point. Sipping my tea, I watch the sun rise over the Capital and a regretful part of me notices its beauty as the colourful buildings shine in the early morning light. I stroll back through the buildings, walking through the main console room without looking at the screen only to hear the whispers as I make my way down to District Four's room.

' _Two dead by the looks of it.'_ Rings in my head like a bell.

I begin to race, placing my hand on the door just as the door is swung open from the inside. Johanna's white face greets me, her expression tells me everything.

'No…' I murmur. I push past her and look to the screens. One is focused on the girl from Twelve who is bent over Glimmer but the one that grabs my gaze is the one focused on the comatose form of Marina.

'Twelve dropped the nest, Glimmer got the worst but a plentiful of stings got Marina too.' Finnick says quickly.

'What is he doing?' Johanna says watching the other screen but I can't take my eyes off Marina. Her chest rises slowly but her body is covered in repugnant stings- each yellowed and painful the size of a golf ball.

Their chatter is just a buzzing noise to my ears, I don't take my eyes away from the too still body of Marina, I check many a times that her status is still alive.

'Oh…He's cut him.' Johanna says incredulously.

'Yeah but she got away so the tale goes on.'

'And look in the trees.' Axel says softly.

'Eleven, what a…'

I scream.

Marina's body begins to convulse, as if she is being shocked. Her head bouncing against the floor sickly, as her body moves weirdly thumbing the ground in the clearing she fell down in. As if programmed her stings begin to produce a yellowish pus that runs down her body in a volume much too great in mass to be natural. Her convulsing gets more and more powerful, her body hitting the ground with such painful thuds; as her mouth begins to foam…

I scream again.

But the cannon drowns out my scream; as her body ceases to move.

'No…No…' I wail dropping onto my knees. I feel Axel's arms come around me, and melt into them tears boiling hot and distressed roll down my cheeks as I watch the hovercraft appear and take away Marina's still, very much abused body and then the screen changes becoming just an overview of the games.

I turn my head into Axel and let the tears cascade, from behind me I can hear Finnick and a soft sound that could almost be a sob.


	14. Chapter 14

It's funny, when I had fear in me of the inevitable time went by; even though each minute sometimes felt like forever it still went by but now…now I'm stuck in limbo, I have no reason to still be here but I have every obligation to be here. It's been two days since the death of Marina, and still I can't rid my mind of the image of her convulsing on the floor, in that attack two were killed in- Marina and Glimmer- but the last two days have been quiet for the games the dropping of the nest was genius and kept the Capital pining and entertained but in its wake Katniss is stuck in the comatose state that can be induced by the stings with that little one from Eleven playing nurse; Cato, Marvel and Clove have the odd stings and have been away from the drama with the boy from three just there as accessory; the boy from twelve is from what I can make out dying slowly from a fatal wound Cato sprung in his thigh when he urged Katniss to go immediately alerting Cato to his double agent role but also setting the Capital into a frenzy of love for the pair of troubled lovers. Which in all in all means people are getting restless, oh but that doesn't mean there isn't drama building in the Capital what I keep forgetting is that Katniss stole the bow and arrows from Glimmer which has an abundance of rumours circulating. All in all, it's beginning to cause a stir, I'm waiting for something…anything but the walls of the apartment.

I sit in front of the mirror as Axel brushes out my hair, running a hot plate over it so it lies straight and fill around my face. Taking the smallest sections of hair, he braids them, securing them with clear elastics. My face is a mask, everything covered away with a layer of makeup then drew back in so I'm at the desired beauty base. Flushed cheeks, sculpted cheekbones and jaw and defined brows. In a short black skirt and a white lace blouse I look normal, look as though nothing has crashed into my world and made its axis change entirely.

'Normality.' I breathe at Axel, as I meet his gaze in the mirror trying my best to smile.

'Ayda you have to move on…' I look down at my hands. 'Remember this is your job now…'

'What to bring kids to their death?!' I hiss, standing abruptly; and pushing past him.

'Ayda you know what winning means.'

'No I knew that winning meant I stayed alive, that is all I was thinking about when I won!'

'Well you're here now, would you really make Annie do this!' I look at him in surprise, his words catching me off guard. 'Finnick told me a few nights ago…' He adds in obvious explanation.

'This isn't fair, I'm scarred too!' I scream at Axel, tears brimming in my eyes and my vision blurring.

'Ay...'

'No listen to me! This hasn't just come from the fact I've just watched two kids die, this has come from the fact I can't do this every year without turning into someone I don't want to be- the kids I was prepared for but all this shit with celebrations I don't like.'

'Wow…' Johanna says from behind me. 'Girl got a temper on her.'

'Jo…' Axel says softly.

'No all this ranting and raving is getting us nowhere, Ayda you know you would never make Annie do this; next year you will be back with two new kids and the odds say that we won't come back with you either so you need to strap on a pair!' Johanna's voice is harsh, so harsh I look at her with disbelief in my eyes. 'You're a strong on Ay, I know you are and you need to get over this because we're in business.'

'What?' I say after a couple of seconds of taking in what Johanna has just said.

'We're in business, if you dial yourself down; twelve is awake.'

'And that means?'

'That means we go and watch.'

I have no answer to her except to raise my eyebrows a few inches and turn expectantly to Axel who is also looking at her as if she has just grown a second head; which makes me feel much better about my internal confusion.

'Well come on then!' She says, walking back out my room and holding the door expectantly, with a look at Axel I raise my eyebrows and to my mass discomfort he walks out first not even meeting my gaze- my stomach drops and I feel my eyes prickle again as I follow his lead and exit my bed room picking up the knee-high boots from the door way hoping the enormous heel will cover my low mood.

'Helpful tip don't shout at him, he's only trying to help- he was born here and for long enough we were the cattle, he's a good one.' She says squeezing my shoulder quickly and wandering down the stairs which I take slowly, noticing the early hour of only half ten. I sit in the love seat, unzipping each of the boots and slipping them on; stroking the thighs highs gently as they help to sooth my rattled mood.

'Finnick and Blight are already over there, Blight and Haymitch go back so Blight is lending a hand where he can but I'll see you guys over there once you've ate.' She says as she steps into the elevator and ultimately leaving us alone apart from a few Avoxes. The silence is unbearable as Axel takes a seat on the sofa accepting the cup of coffee from the sweet Avox who brought me my teat a few days ago, she also passes me a cup of tea which I take with a smile.

'We can't go on like this.' Axel says softly, placing his coffee cup on the counter and pulling the tie from his long hair so it cascades in waves over his shoulders that he pushes back roughly. 'Ayda I love you but you can't shut me out we're a team, they can't take apart a team.'

'I feel as though I've aged so much these couple of weeks and, trying to be someone I'm not and I know I shut you out but that's all because I have no idea how to admit what's really going on because Axel I'm scared all the time- they've apparently killed my parents…and will do anything for control and what I know is that I can't do this again.'

'But you have to.' He breathes softly, picking up his cup.

'You realised her plan before anyone else did, you worked with a girl who most would of called a lost cause; Ayda even though your taking these kids to their deaths they love you, Marina thought the world of you and for those days before the games you made a difference and next year you'll make a difference again and then one day you'll come home with a victor and it will be the happiness of occasions.' He takes a breath. 'When you went in that arena I didn't sleep, I just watched you and when you won I was beyond ecstatic because you were already my girl and last year I watched the girl go in and she didn't come out but what I do and how I survive it is I know I tried my hardest to help her- and that's all you can do, is try your hardest to help them through it.'

'Oh Axel.' I say as my eyes begin to water and I squeeze them tight hoping to save the make-up job. 'All I want is to be able to help them…'

'And you will be, just help them that's what I see in you all your goodness and that's what will get them through it.'

'But what if I fall to pieces?' I whisper my greatest fear.

'I'll make sure you don't, I'll always be there to put you back together.'

And I can stand it no more, I put my cup on the table and run into his arms pressing myself to him.

'I'm sorry I shouted, and I'm sorry that I'm mean I just…'

'I know, you don't have to be sorry…with me you never have to be sorry.'

I lie with my head on his shoulder, listening to the steady drum of his heartbeat letting go of my heartache like dove that are let loose at a Capital wedding. I know I can never fully let go of the pain I've seen, as Finnick told me your first year will stay with you a life time but letting them go is like letting myself find peace and move on. So, when I final move from the couch twenty minutes later I'm somewhat light again, and we walk hand in hand through the mass of people my fur coat trailing the floor behind me.

'Drama!' Johanna enthuses as we walk into the centre console, a place I haven't been since Marina's death. 'Twelve is awake and is paired with little eleven, and from what I can pick up they are going to destroy the pyramid.' I sit down on the overstuffed couch, Axel beside me throwing his arm over the back rest behind me.

'She better be careful not to blow herself up.' I say softly as I shrug out of my coat which a helpful Avox hangs on the hook behind me. 'Never would of thought of replanting the bombs, let's hope they don't get blown to bits, trying to take any of it.'

'Yes, sweetheart fair point well made, I see us to be even.' I recognise the voice even though the last time I heard it was over two weeks ago.

'Tribute for tribute?' I say turning to look a Haymitch.

'I apologise dear, I saw it was quite a scene for you.'

'Need not worry only one lives, if I could bet it would be on her.' I say softly.

'Not your fellows?'

'Let's say I'm not as conditioned as the rest.'

'She's like us Haymitch hates this thing, doesn't see the point or the beauty the rest see.'

'Hmm that I can see sweetheart.' He says bending down and kissing my hand before wandering away to where the compartments are; I watch after him with what I hope is a mystified face.

'He's under a lot of stress.' Finnick says quickly. 'Two left in the final nine, unheard of for twelve.'

I watch the spilt screen which shows a play of the little one from eleven lighting the fires and jumping away in the trees, to twelve sitting hidden in foliage watching the remaining careers notice the fire; a perfect camera angle shows her smile as they fall for her bate. She sits for a very long time watching the pyramid, long enough I fetch a tea and still she sits.

'She's never going to…' I begin.

'What a…' Johanna says cutting me off, as the girl from five works her way around the boy from three; hopping and jumping over and around the bombs making twelve watch with a renewed look of concentration.

'How did she know?' I breathe, shaking my head in disbelieve as Five pinches a few pieces and scurries away as Three realises something is off. Twelve takes Three's slip in concentration as a chance to set a plan in motion and before my very eyes I watch as she slips out an arrow and lets it fly.

'I knew it!' I laugh, looking at Axel.' What did I tell you, she wasn't mad when she took those arrows…'

'No, she was preparing to win.' He breaths not looking away from the screen. I flick my eyes back just in time for the explosion, that shoots the supplies high into the air and flames lick at them as black smoke bellows. The smoke clears somewhat in time for Cato and Clove to come running back into the clearing, shouting. Their voices are a blur, as Cato puts Three into a headlock and pulls at his head dropping him to the ground as the cannon goes off- I gasp uncontrollably. The girl from Twelve is off running into the tree line, escaped under the cover of smoke. I laugh out loud at the sheer disbelief that the poorest district has in fact just thwarted the most powerful.

We watch twelve as she runs back, but again the scream splits and I gasp loudly as little Eleven comes into view trapped in a net screaming and sobbing- a net I recognise as Marvel's.

'Oh that poor baby…' I say softly, noticing those also watching look pained.

The minutes' tick by as I wait for One to come bounding through the trees but in some miracle Twelve hears her and comes running through the forest; my eyes water as she cuts the little one free and they hug.

'Aww that's…'

But my words are cut short as they spring apart at a noise from behind, as quick as it takes to blink the boy from one has a arrow in his throat but his spear is gone. As I watch him pull the arrow from his throat I glance across to the spilt screen and gasp loudly. The little one from Eleven stands with a spear protruding from her chest as she pulls it free she falls into the arms of Twelve whose eyes I can tell are wet with tears. The next few moments spin as Twelve sings the little one to death, I watch her cut free the backpack and lay the girl peacefully but what pulls at my heart is the way she makes the girl a memorial covering her with flowers before giving a weird three fingered salute.

'They won't like that.' Johanna says, breaking the silence as I wipe my eyes.

'Defiance.' I breathe.

The night weaves on and goes quiet, as the girl from twelve receives a bread roll; which turns out to be from Eleven.

'This is…'

'Bad.' I say, as they all nod.

The night only gets worse as the latest announcement is spoken across the arena.

Two can win from one district.

And I know what I must do, I must get that girl home- like Axel said I must help.


	15. Chapter 15

'Is that even legal?' Axel says as I bustle down to the chambers quickly, walking as fast as my heels will allow.

'I have no idea, but they are doing it.'

'Axel are sure you want to do this?' Finnick says from beside us.

'What do you mean?'

'Well me and Ayda we've…'

'Listen I'm part of this, end of story.' He said gripping my hand.

I knock on the door roughly, waiting with a tapping of my toe on the tiled floor of the corridor.

'What?' A rough looking Blight says. 'Oh, it's you lot.' He corrects opening the door as a silent invitation.

'We want to help.'

'How very new, aren't we all so lovely…'

'Haymitch I'm part of this and I'm pretty sure she will be too.'

'But what about him?' Haymitch says standing, looking at Axel.

'I'll stand by her.'

'Even if that means turning your back on this?' Haymitch says indicating to his surroundings.

'I hate this all just as much as you, the games make me sick!' Axel spits. 'I hate them just as much as you do.'

'How inspirational a Capitalist with a backbone.'

'Haymitch stop it, we'll help you but first they need to know.'

'Know what?' I say quizzically- looking to each of their faces.

'Ayda you have to swear to me that even if you don't like what we say you won't repeat it ever!'

'You have any doubt, we don't tell her.' Blight says sharply.

'No doubt.' Johanna says from the door way. 'Best sit down, both of you it's one hell of an explanation.' She sighs.

'There is for years been talk of rebellion to the Capital, and an unground group have come together from all parts of the districts and we even have some key people from the Capital…' Finnick says looking at Axel. 'But there is a proportion of victors who have joined: myself, Haymitch, Johanna and Blight are just a start, fact is we're the underground rebellion and we have the hope one day to overturn the capital…'

'And what?' Axel interrupts. 'What do you plan to do then?'

'Rid us of this Dictatorship and make a democracy; and rid us of these games for a start.' Blight says bluntly.

'What do you mean 'one day'?' I ask, already knowing the answer.

'Well the first rebellion didn't happen overnight, did it?' Finnick says. 'We just have to wait until there's a weak point in the system.'

'It's something.' Johanna says softly. 'I want to blow this fucking place apart, but we have to be smart.'

'And that means not making another District two show…' Axel breathes, to which everyone seems to stare at him. 'Yes, I'm a hunger games hating native, get over it.'

'Right so what now?' I say as if none of the last five minutes has happened.'

'Well now all we have to do is get two tributes home.' Haymitch says. 'Never been done before.' He sighs.

'Yeah well the present is for the taking and they are coming home; what do you want from us?'

'Well you sweetheart, I want you to go out there and find me some potential sponsors- he ain't got long left if we don't get him something…that's if she finds him…'

'She will.' I say, knowing without having met the girl it's not in her nature to quit.

'Then go.' Blight breathes; so me, Axel and Johanna walk out of the room my mind racing over what I've just found myself in.

'So how much longer will they let these games go on?' I ask Johanna as we sit down for evening meal in a restaurant just beside the training centre. In the past few hours, Katniss' memorial has become catastrophic- seen as a sign of rebellion. In the past hours, me and Axel have learnt a lot we weren't aware of. One was that Haymitch had to plead for Katniss' life, after her way with Rue- only the Capital's love for the star-crossed lovers means she hasn't been blown to bits. Two we must work under the radar and not be detected for working as part of the unground alliance- which to be honest is an obvious.

I found one woman today who couldn't seem to stop talking about the sadness the two from Twelve must be going through; and what made it even better was the fact playing on the screen was Katniss finding and caring for a Peeta that made my eyes water as his leg is something else entirely. In the whole hour and a half, we spoke I found out about her love of romance, her numerous husbands and the fact she wanted to be a sponsor; something that Haymitch said he'd deal with in the morning if they were still alive. As a find from Johanna had already sponsored them a warm meal, which he was more than happy with.

'Well there is only a handful of them left.' Johanna says in thought. 'A few more days, maybe a week tops- they'll be getting ready for the finale.' She smirks at me.

The finale where the remaining two, face both each-other and whatever the Capital want to throw at them; I was lucky…that was all it was pure luck.

 _I stood across from the boy from One, eighteen and lethal. He was double my height and wore enough muscle to probably battle a bear. My year was the finale that had the mass mud slide and it came from the left and pushed against the cornucopia, pushing around the edges it reared at his ankles and losing his balance he fell into the mud that was thick and wouldn't stop coming; it hit me too but somehow, I manoeuvred the thick terrain that was full of bracken and other crap it had picked up along its way. I'd used the cornucopia to push myself up, using the side as a brace to keep me on my feet and a flailing One moved like a fish out of water. I with the same mentality I'd used on twelve threw my dagger at my him- knowing I had only one chance, to my luck it hit him directly in his crown within a minute the cannon went off and I was standing on somewhat dry land as if a giant plug had sucked away all the mud. I watched him be taken by the hovercraft, watched as the mass of muscle lay limp in the claw. It was only in my interview with Caesar afterwards I found that he'd been the one to kill Marsh…in my head it was repayment for taking my partner. But when the trumpets had played, and Claudius Templesmith's voice had echoed in the now empty arena that I was the winner my heart beat frantically, and in that moment what I'd done to survive was nothing because I was alive- it wasn't till after my interview with Caesar that it all came flooding at me…all the things that made me feel like a monster._

'And we have just to hope they win.' Johanna sighs.

'Two look good, they are powerful and no matter what twelve will be weaker; she may be good with a bow but ultimately against two…' Axel lets the words hang unfinished in the air, as servers come over with plates full meat and side orders.

'I see a lot of you in her Ay.' Johanna says as we plate up.

'Me?'

'You wanted to survive, so does she…you've both got a vulnerability and if anything, that makes you all the more watchable and likeable…like even we're rooting for her.'

I don't know what to say, so I just look down at my plate and take a bite of the meat. Roast beef with roast potatoes and even a fruity sauce- it's delicious, that goes without question.

Oh, and I should probably mention that the whole star-crossed lovers thing is one sided, Peeta said it all without Katniss knowing so all Haymitch hopes is that Katniss can keep up the act she started when she started to search for him.

'What was my games like to watch Johanna?' I ask her, looking up from my plate and watching her look up at me with a pained expression on her face.

'Interesting, you were a little surprise…I lost my two in the bloodbath that year so I just watched- the amount of close shaves you had though…' She says not divulging any further.

We eat the rest of the meal with just general chatter, nothing harsh or worth much thought- it's the type of chats I used to have with my parents before my games; the kind that is what you talk about when you just are happy to be around the ones you love. It's as we get into the training centre and in the lift Johanna surprises me; stepping out at my floor not waiting for her own. She leads the way to the couches where Mags, sits smiling talking animatedly with Finnick- Johanna joins her on the couch with Finnick giving her a curious glance. Both me and Axel take seats on the two highbacked lounge chairs; Axel relaxes back into the wings of the chair but I can't seem to shake the weird feeling I have about this and perch forward with elbows on my knees looking expectantly.

'Jo?' Mags says softly, turning to look at Johanna; her small aged hand taking Johanna's.

'They need to know.' She says quickly, looking up at the ceiling with an expression anyone who didn't know her would think was annoyance; when really it is her defence mechanism.

'You certain?' Finnick says, sitting up straighter on the love seat. Johanna nods sharply, and just looks to the ceiling with an expression as if she wants to break something.

'Johanna is like us Ayda, she's been broken too.' Finnick says softly. 'Johanna won her games a year that included the mayor of two's son. The bond between the Capital and Two is stronger than many think, and in fear that the mayor may take drastic action Johanna returned from her games to find both of her parent's dead; having died earlier that day in a freak _accident…'_

' _Accident_?' Johanna spits. 'It wasn't an accident, he wanted me to hurt because that year they wanted two to win more than anything and I'd got in the way- with my axe I carved in his head, I can still remember trying to wash off that awful brain tissue…' She laughs cynically. 'At the time, I was like you upset and horrified but now they took away everything, absolutely everything I care about my boy was even killed…when they were packing some stuff up…only positive is they can't hurt me anymore there is no-one left.' She says with a sad sigh, I can't take my eyes off her as she sits with the same expression on her face.

'You see Ayda he hasn't just done it a few times, he likes control Haymitch won his games using the forcefield and well Snow didn't like that; two weeks after he'd been crowned his mother, younger brother and his girl were killed, apparently on crimes against the Capital…it was lies they were killed to teach him a lesson. It was televised, a direct threat to anyone who tries to one-up the districts.'

I can't form any words, I can just stare knowing my mouth is somewhat gaping because the information has knocked me.

'My life took a turn for the worst, I left the Capital ready to run into my Mothers' arms and cry to her and let her help me; I wanted my Father to be strong and tell me everything was going to be okay and mostly I wanted my boyfriend to talk to, to cry to and for him to hold me and tell me I'd be fine and I know you've heard this all before but me and Haymitch we're the orphans of the hunger games too; they always talk about the orphans of the war, of the Dark Days but they never mention the fact that we're all orphans of winning the games because when we step over this unknown line we lose our families…this is what we're fighting for, a chance to change it all.'

'But how…I can't think…how don't people notice? Why don't people see this?' I say in disbelief.

'But we don't because it's a random accident; different districts so no-one is to notice. A boating accident, a packing accident, a capital offence…whose to pick at it and see the problem?' Finnick is right and it's like someone is turning on a light switch, and before I was only seeing that of candle light.

'He's a killer…'

'More than you'll ever know…I don't get paid in jewels or money now, people give me secrets all kinds of things for enjoying the pleasure of my company.'

'Wait a minute…' Axel breathes, resting his head in his hands. 'He's… but…'

'I know it's a lot to take in, Snow came to presidency so very young and he's kept it for so many years by doing the unforgivable.'

'So, which districts are part of this?' Axel breathes.

'I don't know, we only know those who we've outwardly spoken to…but it's a fair proportion; you have to remember Axel in the district especially Three upwards the games aren't a celebration and are a large scale hated.'

'What about Blight? Has he got a story too?' I ask.

'Not like us, Blight hates the games because of what they mean; he was an orphan before the games he came from the kids home…winning set him free.' Johanna breathes.

I look everywhere but at the people in front of me, I look at my heavily designed finger tips; at my mini skirt, at the top of my boots everywhere but where I should be looking.

'Ayda.' Finnick says but I still look nowhere.

'Ayda, sweetie.' Mags says, and I can't ignore her I look at her and notice the blurriness that has took over my eyes and the tears fall as I see her weathered face with those eyes that I remember so well from watching over me when Mum and Dad died… murdered, they were murdered.

'Mags!' I cry and stand taking the couple of steps before I fall to my knees in front of her crying in earnest- placing my head in her lap as she strokes my fair hair with her soft fingers; humming a tune under her breath as I breathe in slowly smelling the soft aroma that comes from Mags- almost flowery with a distinctive smell of home, one that has become as comforting as my mother's was.

'Hush now.' She says as my breathing eases. 'All is fine…'

'Why though…when we need them most why does he take them away?'

'Because that is when we're most vulnerable and we're easy to mould.' Mags whispers into my hair.

'He breaks us…but now I'm harder to control than ever because I have no-one- solitary confinement is better than thinking every relationship I have going end in pain.' Johanna says gloomily.

'I have Annie but…every waking moment I know she's in danger- it took me a while to be part of this because of her but then…it made sense to be part of a rebellion so that one day she could be safe…'

Finnick's words make me look over at Axel who is watching Finnick with an intensity; as if he feels my stare his gaze flickers down to me and I see the clear beauty, and what I stand to lose.

'They couldn't.' Johanna says, making me look. 'They couldn't, the Capital love you two- my boy was a no-one and Annie she is all forgotten but you two…he couldn't.'

'But he could.' I say looking at Axel. 'He could hurt you, take you away from me and I'd never forgive myself if you died because of me.' I say my voice heavy with tears, Axel stands and takes the couple of steps so he can kneel by me.

'Then we just stay together Ay, this is right; this is what we have to do- I love you Ayda but we have to this even if we risk everything we hold dear.' I fall into his chest and sob; I have no control; and as his arms wrap around me and his head rests against mine I realise just what is left…

What is left when everything is taken away?

What do we hold to?

Why does Finnick risk Annie?

Why does Johanna stay alone?

Why does me and Axel risk each-other?

It's the same thing, one tiny thing that is always there: Hope.

The potential for the future.


	16. Chapter 16

There is something about joining the rebellion that acts to simulate me. I can't put my finger on what it is but what's happened now is that I'm past worrying because like Axel said, it's what we have to do, it's the right thing to do…and if I'm honest what Finnick said has played a major part in my commitment to the cause, he hopes one day Annie will be safe- I hope one day Axel will but this is something I keep to myself because I know he'll tell me I'm worrying over nothing or that I should be worrying about myself… I lay in bed last night, tossing and turning till the early hours making the decision for myself because as much as I knew it was the right thing to do I didn't know whether it was what I had to do, or whether I was being sucked in like one the districts to the Capital's power; it was only as I looked at Axel sleeping that I realised it was my duty to it because not only do I want him safe, but I want a normal life; one that isn't ruled by a games and isn't dictated by a higher rule- I don't want a summer that is full of murder or a new year where its celebrated again. Although I would never have met Axel, if I hadn't of been reaped; I can't bring myself to not wish that I'd never of been reaped and that's why I have to fight- to survive I've killed, I've lost and I've changed, in this world I've felt pain that is unimaginable, I've faced death and ultimately I've faced my moral judgement but weirdly that's what makes me stronger and that's what makes me strive to help so that one day the games are a memory and kids can be kids with the looming fear of _the hunger games._

'Morning!' I say as I wander into the main room in front of the chambers; taking a seat in-between Johanna and Axel. I woke this morning to find ready, and gone within ten minutes of throwing my hair up and a bit of highlighting. I slept late, waking with a sun in the sky and the morning dawn a memory.

'Morning.' Johanna said, not looking away from the screen where Katniss and Peeta filled the screen; her looking over his leg which was a bloodied mess but a lot less pus filled than yesterday.

'What's happened?' I get no answer, but a 'shushing' by the Victor I remember meeting at the interviews, Liv- mentor for five.

I watch with an annoyed silence, confused as to what is going on and why both Johanna and Axel alike have faces filled with dread and what I can only describe as pain.

'Such a shame.' Liv says, shaking her head; wiping under her eye as if a tear had fallen. My confusion spirals, in my eyes I cannot see what is worse than yesterday the wound may still be bloodied but it's not anywhere as putrid as yesterday with the infection and all; the leaves and burn medicine has done something…at least I think.

'What's been going on? What has happened?' I hiss at Axel.

'Blood poisoning.' Johanna answers, speaking in a conversational tone. 'It's fatal if he doesn't get treatment soon and no sponsor at this stage of the games will give anything near that; you'd need a few large sponsors or a tonne of small ones- at this stage even the medicine you got Marina is exceptionally high in price never mind the state of the art stuff.'

'How long has he got?' I ask softly.

'Depends.' Liv says not looking away from the screen. 'Fever will get worse, and lack of nutrients means not long and by the looks of it they both know it.'

'Shouldn't you be watching yours?' Johanna asks in a tone that is neither friendly or not.

'Watching the competition.' She sighs, standing and walking back in the direction of the chambers.

'Is she right?' I ask as soon as Liv is out of hearing range.

'More or less, blood poisoning is major stuff and I'm surprised he's lasted as long already- who knows how long it was after being cut that it set in.'

'Cato knew where he cut him, but somehow he's missed the major artery otherwise Peeta would have been dead long ago.' Axel says softly.

Around me lunch is being served, a soup with heavy wedges of bread. A thick tomato soup with a decorative cream flower on top. It's warm, and comforting; the total opposite of what's going on inside the arena.

The day flows on, and a part of me wants to walk away before Katniss has to give up hope; even if she doesn't love back she cares for him, and the idea of watching her watch him die fills me with dread because it would unimaginable. It's as night falls and Katniss finishing telling a tale of buying her sister a goat that has me somewhat tearful, there is an announcing. I jump in Axel's arms, as I watch the scream with my head resting on his shoulder; there is feast in the morning with gifts.

You don't need to be a psychic to know what that means.

'His medicine.' I say into Axel's shoulder, already knowing it could be a bloodbath.

'She'll go.' Johanna says, looking at the scream which has spilt into four playing each of their reactions.

'How do you know?'

'Because she will, whatever is going on between them she won't just watch him die.'

'But going alone both Cato and Clove could…' I can't finish the sentence, can't bring myself to even think of her dying to save him and then him dying alone in that cave.

The scene playing on the screen is focused on both Katniss and Peeta; Peeta warning her not to go, pleading with her… she can't not I can see in her face the resolve that even if it means her death she'll go anyway, as she hope that she can make him better. As I watch her kiss him softly and agrees to stay I see the resolve in her, which is all the more strengthened as they eat the small meal she's collected and he stops after only a few mouthfuls.

'I don't think I can…' I start but I'm interrupted by Blight coming up behind me.

'Haymitch wants you, just you.' He adds as Axel goes to stand. I walk alongside Blight in silence and with a relief knock on the door marked twelve.

'Ayda.' Haymitch says in greeting, Blight shutting the door behind us. 'Okay the sponsor, I need them who was it?'

'Marcy Chamba.' I say quickly.

'Can she help? Does she have the funds?'

'Yes, I'm certain of it.'

'Good, right I want you to watch for me.'

'What stay in here?'

'Yes, sweetheart in here.'

'Okay.' I stutter, sitting down in the single large padded chair.

'Just keep look out, I'll be back soon.'

Haymitch leaves, with Blight and I'm left just watching, watching the little screen- watching her face as she curls up next to him under the sleeping bag as night falls, how she touches his brow and tries to make him sip water- how she lies watching: watching him, watching around them, checking her weapons. Her yawns quickly stifled, as she keeps watch. I imagine myself in her situation, imagine myself having to keep the boy alive because…and it's that thought which makes me get it more than anything else- for her it's her duty. She could never go home, having had the opportunity to save him and for them both to be crowned victors if she didn't at least try to get the medicine which she as well as I know is going to be at the feast.

'Well?' Haymitch says, from next to the chair; I jump having not noticed his arrival.

'Huh?'

'Girl, did anything happen?'

'No, nothing…' I stutter again.

'Good.' He snaps.

I hear the noise of a parachute come through the speakers.

'What did you send?' I ask.

'Watch.' He says softly, sitting on the arm of the chair. I do as I am told, just watching as the girl appears bow in hand and notices the parachute; I feel a stab of pain as I see the hope in her face as she sees the falling gift, as she opens it and sees the medicine…wait medicine…

'What the…'

'Watch.' Haymitch repeats, putting on hand on my arm gently.

She sniffs it, and her face turns into a grimace. She is one of those people who you can see thinking, see their mind flipping over creating and disregarding ideas. She sniffs at the tub again and it's like a eureka moment, her face lights up and she smirks at the sky; I see Haymitch smirk too as if understanding some silent message. She looks around, her eyes catching sight of a bush of what looks like berries; she mushes some up adds this and that with the spoils from the parachute- sniffing it again before going back into the cave; I'm mystified as to what it is and as to why they are smiling as they are. She sets about feeding him the berry mush, which he asks her lots of questions about it, recognises the sweet taste after a half a dozen or so mouthful he looks at her with shock in his eyes as his lids begin to droop- on the last mouthful.

'They're as sweet as syrup.' And then his eyes widen. 'Syrup.' He repeats, as he tries to resist the last mouthful which she forces down him. He tries all sorts to make himself sick, but he's fading and soon his lips are heavy and with a scathing look his eyelids droop and he sleeps.

'What is that stuff?' I ask Haymitch.

'Sleep syrup.'

'Oh…oh I sometimes have that before bed isn't like…'

'Cheap? Yes, but effective, gives her a chance to try and save him.' He sighs.

'She will.' I say gently, resting my hand on top of his.

'How do you know?'

'Because she wouldn't try as hard if she wasn't willing to do her all.'

'Is that a fact?' He says looking down at my hand upon his.

'Yeah it is.'

'I hear you heard my story.' He said with a slight sigh.

'Yeah.'

'Want to hear the real one?'

'What?'

'My story.'

'If you want me to hear to hear it.'

I hold my breath, and mentally ready myself for anything.


	17. Chapter 17

I don't know what Haymitch is about to say, and as I sit in the padded chair I try and ready myself for whatever is to come because his story already is horrifying. As he sits perched on the arm, watching the screen he picks aimlessly at a thread on his pants.

'I was Victor twenty-four years ago…I was the last quarter-quell. Have you heard of it?' I shake my head. 'That was the year they asked for double, two boys and two girls; so when I faced out on the morning of the first day I faced not twenty-four tributes but forty-eight. The arena that year was an elixir of torture. Nothing was safe, the only food was that in the cornucopia everything else was poison. I thought I was going to die but somehow, I didn't. I was an academic, cleverer than what most were for some reason and I played it to my advantage. I teamed up with a girl from my district a pretty girl from the town side of Twelve. She was younger than me I was strong and at sixteen well built for a boy from the Seam. Together we spilt our spoils, she was clever had made herself a lethal weapon and together we killed but I wanted to go further into the greenery and find the end, we did and then…well we found the end and there was nothing I threw a rock and she got annoyed that we'd wasted time and we spilt; as she left and disappeared into the forest the rock appeared again and I knew I'd found something I wasn't supposed to…before I could do anything else I heard her scream. I didn't even think I just ran, I found her as these birds were finishing her off; putting their beaks through her neck…I held her as she died. I took her weapons and what little she had and somehow survived the following days, it was on the final day me and the girl fought; it was agony I'd managed to carve her eye out and she'd ripped my stomach apart as we fought through the forest. I was moments from death but with everything in me I kept going till I got to the edge; she with what was left of her strength threw something at me and it missed as I fell to the floor and went over the edge, she stood and watch as I began to convulse, unknown to her the force field bounced the weapon back and whatever it was lodged into her head and killed her… I was winner but they weren't happy because I'd found a weapon that was never meant to be yielded. If they could of blew me up and saved her, they would have but they couldn't…and I was Victor.' I look at Haymitch and see nothing but shape as inside my head I'm seeing it all; a broken Haymitch outsmarting the Capital, a young, handsome boy the enemy.

'I came out of the arena, and woke like you would have- I had no chance I was the same hard-faced boy who Caesar had interviewed except now I was an enemy, because I'd proved them stupid. With my time in the Capital up I got on the train and locked all the memories away; my mum and brother were going to be safe in a pretty house with money; my girl…on the ride home I was in the tv room with my mentor. The tv was silent and then when we were not even an hour from home, the tv flickered on and the capital seal came up and I noticed the building on the square before I saw the people down on their knees with their heads covered. A big voice was coming over the speakers, reminding the districts that crimes against the Capital wouldn't go unpunished, it wasn't till later I realised that was a direct threat to me. the firing squad were behind them all and the three people were small and little, the smallest was a boy. They shot them in the back of the head, they hit the floor and still I didn't know who they were but as if to provoke me they removed the hoods and there they lay my mum, my girl and my younger brother. My brother was disfigured, the bullet had come out destroyed his face but my mum and girl were perfect except for the bullet wound in their skull. I was destroyed but my mentor with difficulty showed me why, and in that moment, I knew I was alone- I would never trust myself to have a girl or a family and if anything, it turned me cold after the first few years of watching my tributes die. So, when I was given a chance to fight them, I didn't think twice because they took away my family and my future in one shot, a life of isolation makes everything sharpen into focus and the alcohol was to numb the pain for a while but now if anything it's fuelled the fire.'

'How?' I ask gently, confused as to how the alcohol has done anything but numb him.

'Because I've been numb for so very long that now sober and with the ability to feel; the pain of what has been done to me is even more powerful and now my need to destroy the Capital's hold is stronger than ever because I have denied myself everything so I never have to feel the pain of that magnitude again. They have taken forty-six tributes of mine, every one of them is dead and now I have a chance to get two home and the thing that is bothering me most is that me and her are so very alike and her dramatics have seen her to be an enemy of such and I hold with me the worry that they won't let her win because I still have the debt of making them a fool and she has showed herself in ill-favour and in all of that there is a boy; I fear that I will never get one home because the Capital never forget.'

I can see all that too, so very clear a freak point in the games which rids them of Twelve.

'You see Ayda, they don't forget when they have been outsmarted, or when the odds aren't in their favour.'


	18. Chapter 18

The night drags on, the screens plays out the eagle-eyed Katniss watching over the sleeping Peeta, her face is unreadable and so is Haymitch's. Since telling me his tale we have sat in an almost comfortable silence, just watching the darkened scene playing out. I can tell neither how he's feeling or what he expects to come; but in my gut I know beyond anything that she'll be lucky to live. Between Finnick, Blight and Johanna we have knowledge that the two from One want to ambush her; and will be waiting for her arrival- I saw Haymitch's face when the information sunk in and the knowledge was like an ice bath to me as I realised that if Katniss does not survive this trip neither will Peeta. The medicine is of the highest value, from what I was told off Johanna and Liv and that from the few comments Haymitch has said over the past hours; I've found out blood poisoning in the districts is a death sentence, it's draining yet the Capital have a formulation that is so very state of the art but is top price even at the very beginning of the games, let alone at such a late point. It's as the sky begins to brighten she takes off with one lingering look at Peeta's face. Haymitch sits forward in his chair, the long night can be seen from the blackness under his eyes and the wrinkled clothes; I look no better.

'What we waiting for?' I ask Haymitch, as he touches some controls and a third screens lightens split into segments; showing the other tributes already surrounding the area; and a towering Cato watching the woods.

'That.' He breathes. I look to where he's pointing, his attention is wholly on the small section of the screen that shows Cato.

'I don't understand.' I whisper, not wanting to speak in anything louder as the silence is growing, as the moment nears; the moment that could potentially shape a whole new millennia in _The Hunger Games;_ the moment that could be the crux of our history... which could potentially change everything…

I do not breathe the words, as I can't help but think it could Jinx the moment.

'He thinks he knows her.' Haymitch says after a moment of pondering my question.

'He thinks she's hiding in the forest?' I say, although it's all clear in my head now.

'He saw her climb the trees, and knows she's surviving; when he hurt Peeta he saw her running off into the woods- he's clever but she's full of surprises…' Haymitch's voice is awe filled, as if he can't quite believe how much this girl is out-smarting this trained killer and if I'm honest neither can I. I too would of believed her to have taken refuge in the forest, up the trees even if that had meant leaving the boy alone in the cave but miraculously she hadn't and a nurturing side of her had been revealed one I wouldn't have suspected lived inside, but one that is gripping the Capital with what they suspect as true love, between the fabrication of the star- crossed lovers.

Katniss moves away from the cave, down the river, through the rocks and on until she's just outside the ring of the cornucopia; hidden in the intense greenery, that I expect only too well has been created for this exact purpose. The sun still isn't fully risen, and the cornucopia is unchanged; no sigh of that gifts but I know they'll come, know Seneca Crane will be watching, waiting for the perfect moment when his pawns are in the perfect position for a blood bath, _for quality programming._ From the screens, I can see all too well the other tributes, sitting in waiting. Eleven over to the farthest side, hidden in the long wheat grass; Five hidden in not far from Katniss, nearer the back of the Cornucopia; and then there is Two she is just watching from the spot closest to the Cornucopia, waiting with a death glare already in her eyes.

The sun starts to lighten the sky so very slowly, and a sick part of me realises as it does that this is what the Hunger Games is about, for any Capital resident this is the moment; this waiting with the anticipation of what is to possibly come. The who is going to die? Who is going to live? Is this leading to the finale? It will be a source of excitement, the power that is leading to an inevitable bloodbath; they will be watching and they will be betting and the Capital will again have won the ongoing battle of the games.

'You need to leave.' Haymitch says suddenly, so sudden that I look up in surprise.

'Why?' I squeak.

'They can't know…just go Ayda.'

And I know I've been dismissed, know that Haymitch is doing something noble but I also know that he needs to be alone in this moment, he needs to be with just his tributes; he needs to see this through- his story, his pain, his addiction all comes down to this moment, the moment she runs for his medicine.

I walk with slow steps back to the tribute centre, stepping into the lift and I feel my energy sap away until I'm unsure as to whether or not I have the ability to actually to get out of this lift and find my way to my bed. The lift stops on my floor and with everything in me I step out and he's standing right there. His hair is a mess the usually flawless silky mane, is frizzy and hanging limp around his face. His clothes aren't neatly pressed, like mine they look as though they have been slept in all night; the shirt is untucked from the pants with the top few buttons undone as if the night has been as rough on him as it has on me. And looking up at his face, I see the pain, the sadness, the worry etched into his smooth features and I yearn to make them go, but as I stretch out my icy hand to his and our fingers link together the tears build in my eyes and I have no control as they cascade down my face in streams; and as he takes me in his arms and carries me to our room I sob at what I have lost in this little trip, and what I still stand to lose.

'It's okay Ay, it will be okay.' Axel whispers into my hair, as I sob into his chest on our bed.

'How?' I whisper, my words barely louder than air.

'Because it has to be.' Axel answers me, his voice muffled against my hair.

'But what if it's not?' I say, looking up to his face.

Tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, he looks down at me; looks me deep in the eyes in a look that feels soul searching; then he presses his lips ever so softly against mine.

'Then it isn't the end.' He murmurs, his lips still pressed against mine; and that's all it takes for me to press my lips against his again, just to feel normality- just for a chance, a moment in time to be perfect. When we break apart, we are both slightly breathless but my smile is genuine when I return his. Stretching I stand from the bed, feeling thoroughly exhausted but far from being able to nap- in an hour or less we could have a victor or be in preparation for the finale. Axel must be able to sense my mood as he too stands from the bed.

'Shower?' He asks. And I know what he's saying I nod, and together we go into the little bathroom; strip down our clothes and undergarments and step under the hot spray of water. Together, with no secrets.

I dress simply, a form fitting pair of pants, a soft red satin shirt and a pair of soft leather black shoes; Axel throws a large fur wrap over my shoulders as we leave our room; my hair being simply taken back in a high braid and my make-up being nothing beyond beauty base zero. We can't think straight, because all I know is I have to see this through. On the couches Finnick and Mags sit in deep discussion, one that stops as soon as they see us.

'How's Haymitch?' Mags says, her voice light.

'Trying to keep it all inside.' I say, with a sigh. The sun is beginning to light up the sky, there must only be minutes left until it all begins. Both Finnick and Mags look exhausted, like they too have not been able to sleep. The capital is right about one thing, the games are something that brings everyone together but not in union but in rebellion, a common enemy that's united the districts.

'This year is different.' Finnick breathes.

'What do you mean?' Axel asks.

'I don't know yet…but something has changed.'

'This.' Mags says, gesturing around us with her aged hand.

'This?' I ask softly.

'My girl in seventy-four years never have more than one been allowed to live…' In all those words, Mags only stumbles a couple of times.

'What does that mean?'

'I don't know.' Mags says softly, running a hand through her soft grey hair; it's her nervous habit, over the time I've spent with her she does it whenever she's feeling anxious.

'But why now? After all this time?' I say, confusion hitting me like an ice bath.

'I don't think it was a decision.' Finnick says rather solemnly.

'So, it's just for a good show?' Axel says, with a weird tone to his voice.

'You'd…'

'I don't get it.' Axel says, running his hands through his hair, that he's kept down so that it surrounds his face and cascades over his shoulders.

'Either do they…'

'Either do we.' Mags finishes Finnick's sentence.

'What do you mean?' I say, my brow creasing.

'It's different, but both of us see it in a different light.


	19. Chapter 19

**Right I know its been ages since I updated, and I apologise and hope this chapter makes up for it! And from now on I will update at least once a week! Reviews are always appreciated too!**

We sit in silence, for a few too many minutes. My mind is whirring over what Mags and Finnick have said; especially Mags' antidote on the fact that never before have two had the ability to be crowned. It makes me think of what could actually have triggered such a random and insane change in the set-in-stone rule book the games has always followed. Have all the Capital fell for the lovers of District Twelve or have they been played? Do the Capital resident love it that much, that its caused so much turbulence the Game makers had no choice but to implement the new change of ruling? It's weird because I don't see that, I really don't; and yes, maybe it might be because I'm young and that I've not exactly been at the heart of all too many games but something about this screams at me that we're not seeing the whole picture, that this is all some sort of rouse but…I have no proof except for my errant thoughts and my inability to find any loyalty in their games. Axel is equally as silent as myself, except his face is marred with confusion that looks as though it is border-lining pain. For how much must this be an ache that is gnawing at his insides, as everything is falling down around him…he may not have loved the Capital but it has been his home, his life and now all of a sudden, he is stuck in the centre of no-man's land; unable to go back to the naïve and unaware boy but troubled with the idea of going forward and becoming part of the underground…a rebel.

See I don't have that issue, I have no loyalty left. For it is only now as I look at the barbaric games I see the true meaning; what they actually set out to do; for I didn't the stupid propaganda of all this to even start but these games I see that it's just mind control, they have an ability to control the nation- to make people feel, make people fear, make people do whatever they like all because hanging around each of their necks invisible to the naked eye is a noose, in which the Capital and the Capital alone have control of.

'We should go down.' I murmur, wanting to be anywhere but where are thoughts are taking me; all my tiredness is gone I know without a doubt it will catch up on me later- like that days after my games where insomnia hit and I couldn't even close my eyes without my brain taking me back to the arena and then if I did find sleep I would be rudely awoke by my own screams as I saw all things that were and always will be etched into my brain.

'Yeah we should.' Finnick agreed, looking up at me; his eyes bearing into mine as if they could see deep into my soul; and knew just what I was seeing.

Roughly running his hands through his hair, Axel scrapes it back into a bun securing it with a tie that was unseen on his wrist. His agitation is clear in that movement; the roughness in which he moves his hands, the uncaring nature; he is much confused and he is and suddenly I see it all to well being forced into choosing a side, no matter what he has said prior these moments, these last couple of days have been leading to this point- the point in which he must choose his path, and possibly changed the whole course his life will take.

'What you thinking?' I say softly, reaching for his hand and lacing our fingers.

'What do you mean?' He replies just as softly.

'What you going to do?' I whisper.

'What can I do?' And its those words above nothing else that makes me know just how in sync we are because I don't even have to utter the words for him to know just what I'm trying to say.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Well say these two die, whats going to really happen? There is no change, they die end of story. Even if they live, two victors just two more people who are used the way you lot are! My choice was made the moment your name was reaped out of that ball, the moment Kizzy announced your name I was with you; and that isn't going to change- if you're in then so am I and nothing is going to change that but I don't get why this, this rebellion is making you believe that you have a chance! Snow is the most powerful of men, he has so many people at his disposal you are never going to overthrow him…never…' He utters again.

'Why?' Finnick says, his eyes tight.

'Why?' Axel repeats, standing up and beginning to pace. 'The reason you will never succeed is because no matter what you do, he has the power of so many and the ability to do anything and not face the punishment- to come against him you'd have to unite every district each and every one and that's not going to happen because all has to implant is fear; a little bit more- threaten the children, threaten the wife, threaten a district; in sowing fear he keeps you all kneeling at his feet.' The words flowing out of Axel's mouth make me flinch because they are so far removed from the man I love, they are blunt and almost cruel.

'Without this there is no hope son.' Mags says softly, placing a hand on Finnick's knee.

'Exactly…' Axel sighs. 'We're stuck.' And it's that, those two words that beyond anything remove the dam and bear Axel's real fear for all to see.

'We're not stuck.' Finnick says his voice a lot gentler.

'Then what are we?'

'Hopeful.' Mags answers. 'You can't live without hope, she has it.' She continues pointing towards me.

'You do.' Axel says, and it's a statement not a question but I give him an answer anyways.

'I have to have hope. I have to believe one day this will all be over. I have to pray to myself that one day kids will get to be kids without the fear of death hanging over them year on year; I have to believe that this job will all end and I won't have to take two children to more than likely their death year after year. This year I'm taking home with me two wooden box; a sixteen-year-old who I promised I would help get home and a twelve-year-old who was dead within minutes of getting the arena; I have to hope that I never have to see that again.' My voice is an oasis of emotion, of feeling.

'You may hate the games, but in the districts or should the majority they are hated beyond anything you will ever know.' Finnick says.

'So, all we can hold on to is hope; a little of it and hope beyond anything else that its effective in chasing away our biggest nightmares.

We're silent again, Axel removes the tie from his hair and so it hangs in waves around his shoulders, which he roughly scrapes away from his face.

'WE should go' I say again, but this time I'm met by silence and my eyes can't seem to stray from the clock as I watch the seconds' pass knowing that at any moment…

The TV beeping catches my attention and my heart pounds with uncertain fear as the Hunger Games emblem appears on the screen, and Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith appear on the screen in this bulleting.

'And that's the feast…and what a rememberable one that will be!' Caesar chimes, as Claudius nods his head in a very animation style way. I watch as the number of tributes drops by one…and my heart stops; my breathing stops and as the clip comes up I can do nothing but what feeling myself lose all hope.

With a run the girl from Five gets her pack and runs, the camera zooms around Cato is still out of reach waiting and watching for who I know to be Katniss; Clove is watching inches from the Cornucopia like a lioness waiting for her prey to come into her path, in her hand she plays with a long-bladed knife. Katniss watches and watches as Thresh lies in waiting in the heavy reeds. It's in a blink of an eye Katniss is away and I know now watching this she is the lost tribute, she has run straight into a trap- Clove and her array of knives will have made her dead and in turn given Peeta a death sentence. But still I can't rip my eyes away from the screen as she runs and somehow manages to grab the pack, a tiny little thing that she hooks around her forearm; she is running and running her feet pounding the floor but then I see Clove move like smoke she is there, Katniss' quickly strung arrow flying way beyond the target; Clove dives and is on top, a knife flying, and blood. I try to close my eyes but I can't, no matter how hard I try I can't look away. The wound is to Katniss' forehead and is all of a couple of inches; but in such a place the blood is teeming in thin streaks down her head into her eyes and rolling down her face. Through she fights, I see Clove all to strong and powerful wielding her knife, the bow and arrows all to useless in such close combat. They are a muddle of flailing limbs, until one comes up on top and even if my eyes weren't stuck to the screen I'd still know who it is; Clove sits on Katniss' chest far enough up that I know she is very plainly making Katniss struggle to gulp in any precious air. For moments, Clove sits an evil smile in her eye; hissing her little lullaby of pain and hurt at Katniss; mocking her about Peeta, about how she about to die; wielding knives, from the corner of my eye I can see Thresh, see him moving around close by watching the scenario play out.

'We're going to kill you. Just like we did your pathetic little ally…what was her name? The one who hopped around in the trees? Rue?...' Her words are painful to hear, like emotional slaps in the face and which must have only been a million times worse for Katniss, as lay there death seconds away thinking about she…how she failed Rue…and finally Peeta…

But then the whole thing changes, the whole scenario shifts; and I find myself gripping to the edge of the couch; my hands are in a bone white grip because I cannot believe my eyes, cannot believe of such a turn of events. Katniss looks with eyes that are too stunned, too amazed as Clove is ripped away from her before she could even leave a death producing cut…she had played too long. Thresh stands holding Clove like a rag doll; shaking her- his fury alive in his face as his pain and torture are all to alive in the anger that even I can feel is coiling away from him like a current. With a twist of his hand he throws Clove to the ground; his face, his entire body emitting a horrifying anger.

'What'd you do to that little girl? You kill her?' His voice makes me jump in my chair; and a sweat to break out on my brow; the camera zooms out to focus on Cato who is standing spear in hand watching with an almost bored expression; yet to know that the real danger and the real fight is right where he left his partner.

'You cut her up like you were going to cut up this girl here?' The words are venomous, like a snake sinking in its fangs and not letting go. Thresh is beyond angry, in his hand is a stone; no bigger than a small loaf of bread but in Thresh's powerful and beyond livid state its lethal. Clove is stuttering, crawling backwards on all fours; trying to get away but then I see from my chair the moment she notices the rock in his hand and all that is left of her cool and calm persona evaporates and a look of fear coats her eyes.

'Cato!' She screeches. 'Cato!' The fear, longing and pain in her voice echoes, through the speakers.

'Clove!' His shout comes through the air, but I already know from where the camera zooms to his face that he is too far, far too far away to be of any aid to her; and this moment I know that it isn't Katniss who is dead nor is Thresh but it's the girl who lay in waiting for the ambush, Clove. In surprise I note that Cato's face drops and all the blood drains from his face. His shout of reply, is laced with fear and within a second he begins to run but sitting here, I know every step is pointless; he is too far away…far too far away.

Thresh in perhaps surprise at Cato's response or in just the pure anger filled he is in; brings down the rock in one clean and deathly movement. The rock makes contact with Clove's temple, it doesn't bleed but even from the vantage point the screen gives us I see the dent in her temple and know that even if Cato arrives before her death, he unlike Katniss will have no chance of saving her- Thresh has in his own way made memorial for little Rue, who was so young to be placed in these games much like our own Hugo.

I watch Thresh, turn to Katniss as the almost comatose Clove lets out a low moan and her rises and falls in rapid motion as the life begins to seep away from her. Katniss is defenceless and I can't work out why the death count is as low, she is weapon-less one move and Thresh could be done with her; except he looks at her with such an unreadable expression in his eyes, the rock raised in his hand but for some reason I know he is debatable whether or not to give her the blow.

'What'd she mean? About Rue being your ally?' Thresh's voice is gruff and I look across to Finnick who likewise is watching his eyes unflinching from the screen. Stumbling over her words, her eyes not moving away from the raised she mumbles out how she teamed up with the small girl, blew up the careers supplies…and tried to safe the girl but explains that one got there first- her voices cracks as she whispers the last part; Thresh looks at her with a whole array of emotions conflicting in his eyes. I can't read what he is thinking; can't imagine what must be going through his mind. I stretch my hand and grab Axel's, his grip on mine is like a vice but I speak for both of us when I say neither of us move our eyes a millimetre away from the scream.

'What's he waiting for?' I breathe. I don't expect a reply and I don't get one as the moment stretches on- its only seconds but it feels like a little part of forever is stretching ahead of me.

'And you killed him?' Thresh asks, his voice lethal but his face telling a whole different story. His eyes have somewhat softened and it leads me to question just how much it hurts him knowing that the little is gone and having avenge her death, he may have to kill her protector just to get home.

'Yes. I killed him. And buried her in flowers. And sang her to sleep.' Katniss speaks in such a tongue that I can hear the unshed tears that are building behind her eyes.

'To sleep?' Thresh questions, a note of irritation in his tone.

'To death. I sang until she died.' Katniss corrects herself, and I see the look of loss in her eyes and I don't know whether that is her remembering Rue's final moments, thinking of Peeta or selfishly thinking of herself and how she will not get home. 'Your district…they sent me bread.' She stumbles over her words reaching up just to wipe at her nose; her eyes tell me she can see death coming and that she can't escape. Looking at Thresh, Katniss moves her arms down; and I know its her mark of surrender… I recognise the look from the one I killed…my first kill.

'Do it fast, ok, Thresh?' A look of utter astonishment goes across Thresh's features; and we all gasp in the room- and I can only imagine the pain in which it must have caused Haymitch when he watched this live; it is only the fact I know she isn't dead that gives me the courage to continue watching.

But in an action, I would never believe possible in a games, Thresh lowers the rock; a look of confliction alive in his face.

'Just this one time, I let you go. For the little girl. You and me, we're even then. No more owed. You understand?'

'Why would he do that?' Axel blurts. Finnick shushes him, as the screen splits in two and we see Cato running full pelt through the trees.

'Clove!' He shouts, and he is close- close enough to see her.

'You better run now, Fire Girl.' Thresh says.

Katniss runs, and runs until she finds herself in the edging of the forest; where she turns catching a glimpse of both Cato and Thresh before taking off at a sprint through the trees. The camera does follow her it's stationary at the cornucopia, where Thresh having taken Cato's pack as well as his own is disappearing into the reeds but the camera is focused, on what with the greatest confusion still pains me. Cato reaches Clove and the pain on his face is so real that I feel tears built in my eyes; his face drops as she kneels beside her throwing down the spear, taking the sword from his belt and pulling her into his arms; pressing his face into her hair. He whispers so low, that along the screen little subtitles appear, pleads to Clove to stay with him- but I can see in his face that he knows, that deep down he knows it's all lost; his heavily muscled arms that so very brutally broke Hugo's neck wrap around her bringing to his chest; as he rocks her side-to-side. And watching him mourn for the loss of his partner makes me realise that although they both knew they couldn't both make it to begin with he loved her, and she him because her scream as she knew death approaching wasn't just to warn him, it was because with him she felt safe- and as that all makes sense my head I feel a tear drop because although they are brutal and murderous they are nothing but children forced into battle.

He played the Capital with Glimmer, just for the airtime…when really it was Clove who had already claimed his heart. That realisation makes me feel unbelievably sad.

The camera doesn't move from them, as one then two minutes' pass, it's just before the third minute that Clove dies in Cato's arms, with one final hazy breath and a haunting moan.

The canon fires leaving us in silence; with just the pounding of our hearts the background record of the day.

'And so, we are left with just five…' Claudius Templesmith laughs.

'Oh, I'm so excited!' Caesar Flickerman laughs; pretending to gnaw on his pen.

'He did that because a debt, should never be left unpaid.' Finnick says softly, it takes me a few seconds to realise he is answering Axel's earlier question.

'But why? Especially in there, he could of took the pool down to four…three even!'

'Yeah but Ax in doing that, it would be bad for the girl's memory…' I sigh.

'A debt in the districts isn't the same as the Capital.' Finnick adds. 'Even the richer ones…'

And he is right, even in four you always pay the debt back; even the lend of some salt is returned with some good- which only makes me think what would the price be in the poorer districts for some act of kind; a debt no matter how small there will be all the more precious when there isn't enough for all… which makes me realise Thresh never had a choice.

'And so, the medicine is going to be administered.' Caesar says, rather cheerfully. As a camera turns live to the cave in which Katniss left Peeta. A very weak, and bloody Katniss shakily leans over a still sleeping Peeta. Pulling the needle, from the pack and pressing the already bloodied socks to her headwound Katniss jabs the needle into Peeta's arm, pushing down the plunger. And then as I watch the hand holding the socks drops, and as the blood flows into her eyes- she falls to the fall, the blood already making itself at home on the rocky ground next to her head.


	20. Chapter 20

I can't rip my eyes away from the screen, an hour has passed since the feast came to an end but I can't take my eyes away from what is unfolding in front of me. Cato looks alone, isolated on the little island that is the cornucopia; what at the beginning was the strong hold of power is now nothing but one lone tribute against four. It's a very occasion that the majority of the surviving tributes in the later days come from the poorest districts, possibly a first that three of the five remaining are from Eleven and Twelve; for normally they are distant memory in the first hour, mauled down by a wielding axe, or a flailing sword. My mind turns to back home, a memory that seems to have pushed its way from my very core, as if I'm honest I never realised I still remembered, or still was even conscious of this.

 _I'm no older than ten, sitting at my mother knee as she braids back my long hair which is still dripping with salty sea water from my morning swim with dad; the waves had lapped up and swallowed me whole so that when I'd made surface I'd been coughing and laughing with water spraying from my very orifice. She's touched my cheek as she secured the second braid in my hair, towel drying the ends gently; her finger had lingered on my cheek as the screen had statically came to life. It was the morning of a games, a rather awful one at that. The twenty-four tributes had been taken into a rubble filled, destroyed city. An expanse of land where only a few meagre things were safe that didn't come from the cornucopia; the weapons had glistened in the hot sun that had pounded. I'd gasped in awe at the scene in front of me, looking at the hard packed sanded floor, the tall tanned broken buildings- so very different from the sea fronted, soft sanded place I knew as home. The careers that yeah, were strong all of them…the ones from home had been a boy who lived not far from me; he was tall and broadly built, he was seventeen and had been working in docking boats since he could hold a rope; he was muscled and raw- the girl sixteen had short cut blonde hair, the lay in natural curls around her face; she had a strawberry birthmark on her cheek. She's cried at the reaping, for months after I'd had fleeting nightmares where her screams and cries would echo around in my mind, leaving me screaming in my sleep- so much so my parents even tried sleep syrup every night before bed, until they found the medicine only made it harder for me to break free of the nightmares and only served to prolong my horror. The gong had sounded and it had been bloody, the sanded floor had absorbed the spattered blood and in so turned almost pink, bodies had fell in every direction. The one from one was cruel to say the very least, he stood at over six foot and had more muscle than I imagined possible; so much so he looked almost grotesque, like one of the capitals creations gone wrong. He'd been a one man massacre; he'd killed in such a violent and almost animalistic way that I'd found myself cowering into my mother's legs, hiding my face in her lap because even the noise was enough to make me feel fear. But then he was the worst but the others were just as blood thirsty…they killed with an edge of malicious and enjoyment; a smile on their faces as they carved in ribcages, speared hearts and left a trail of red behind them. That first day fifteen were killed, the highest record of any hunger games. It was a bloodbath, to concur any but the death that stayed with me most, was that of the girl from twelve. A small, thirteen-year-old; as small and slight as imaginable; underfed, unnourished, a dot in field of murderers. She hid behind one of the old buildings that did nothing but provide a scene; she was shaking from head to toe; her body like a leaf in the wind as she'd crouched behind the stone structure. It had been about an hour into the games and the bloodbath had died down, the packed ground littered with mutilated, bloody bodies; all cooling and lifeless. It was then that the girl fell, the cameras had swooped to her; as she made the connection with the ground making a soft thud that seemed to echo through the speakers. It had been the big guy from One who had with a cruel, and inhumane glint in his eye strolled up to her; playing with a wickedly sharp blade in his hand, making sure the blade caught the light as often as possible- which was reflected in the girls eyes as she tried to make herself dissolve into the packed earth. Her eyes were wild and alive with an ingrained fear as she watched him get closer and closer; as death prowled towards her smirking with a blood-hungry induced high bouncing in his eyes; making the smirk on his face all the more torturous to endure. Mum had tried to push my head back in her lap, as a sob had caught in her throat but I wouldn't tear my eyes away; I was fixated on her…on the girl. I yearned her forward, pleading for this not to be her end; for her not to be another death to add to his count- for some otherworldly miracle…even though I knew better. Whether an infant, a child, or a potential tribute the games had been a mandatory viewing…as they still are…but in our little house mum liked us all to watch, I think she felt it was only right that their deaths were seen…I don't know really but I always got the idea that she believed in watching she was supporting them, through their deaths not being alone… So I wasn't oblivious to the fact she was going to die, but in that starved and beyond slim frame I saw myself looking back; saw in her vivid eyes and long hair a girl who wanted to be anywhere but there, a girl far too young to die. He advanced on her, treading carefully so that each step landing heavily and made a sound of impact; almost as if he was enjoying bating her, and wanted the moment to last; wanted to inhale her fear and feed off the torture that he was putting her through with every second he halted her imminent death and made her cower and suffer to the extreme; his smile grew so that when he finally stood before her a wide white smile glowed on his face and instead of being happy, his smile seemed to be from the very pits of hell. I could see even through the screen that he was enjoying bating her, enjoying watching her eyes dilate as the fear overcome her; as she watched death count down the seconds, heartbeats, breathes that were left in her life._

' _Now, look at you!' He laughed, it echoed around the cornucopia; the other careers all stopped and turned to look at him; as he licked his lips in front of the girl- she whimpered and covered her head with her arms; which only made his smile grow all the wider._

' _Trying to hide from us, little girl?' He purred, the seductive tone sent a ripple of shivers down my spine and I'd curled closer to my mother lap; but still not taking my eyes off the screen._

' _Please…' She begged. It was pathetic. Beyond pathetic, he laughed at her and brought the knife up like Macbeth brought up the dagger; he plunged it into her hands that were clasped over her head. Her scream pierced the quiet, and a couple of the careers jumped in shock; as her cries of agony echoed off every corner of the arena. Sobs caught in her throat as he stood back and watched her whimper, holding her hands protectively to her chest as a ridiculous sum of blood seeped to the fall around her, making a ring of red to enclose her._

' _Pathetic little twelve…' He'd sighed, running his tongue along the blade so that the blood residue coated his tongue; which only made him smile more. She whimpered again, her yelps of pain girlish and most of all childish. He brought up the knife again and in a move so smooth and effortless but with the lethal nature of a cobra slashed at her face; making a long cut that stretched from her forehead to her chin; and seemed to just open up a dam of blood, that flowed freely and mingled with the blood from her hands as she brought them up to hold the gaping wound._

' _Just kill me!' She screamed; the watching careers had been in all states of emotion; ranging from that eager delight to one who looked murderous but not at the girl but at her mutilator. It looked as if he was aiming for the crucifixion of Christ as he brought the knife up again slashes at her thighs, playing with his kill. I remember my dad commenting on that factor, saying the audiences must be in their element…_

' _Why kill you? We're having fun!' He spat, as her screams seemed to vibrate in my very bones as they came hauntingly through the speakers._

' _Leave her.' The words were a balm to my ears, as I watched the dark-skinned boy who was looking murderously at One step forward._

' _Why?' One hissed predatorily._

' _Because you will.' Two walked forward, till he was standing above the girl; her eyes focused on him, there was a look in her eyes that was in that moment burned to my brain, it was desperation. It was a plead, a pray, a promise. It was the hope the torture would end. It was her goodbye as she admitted she was about to die. It was her begging for him to end her pain. Without taking his eyes off girl he took a small but heavy looking dagger from his belt, and held it above; and taking a deep breath he brought the dagger down fast; he hit his target- as Juliet did to be with her Romeo- blood exited her chest as he set her free; as he took her to a place of no more harm._

 _He won that year. I have never been so pleased for another district to win; but he'd shown his humanity. It was him who killed the boy from One; in a finale showdown that went down in the Games' history as being the captivating. They had fought without weapons, bare knuckles had hit off flesh until One lay on the ground and Two picked up a rock and rammed it into his skull; cutting the flesh and leaving an open, gaping would where bone was visible even from the camera angle._

The memory replays again in my mind, as I see it through the eyes of the child I was; how fucked up it is that death should be celebrated…or that a raving cannibal should be a crowd pleaser.

'You're right….' Finnick says, and for some reason that brings me out of my inner flashback; and I'm back in the room the screen still flicking between scenes and the others on the couches discussing something or other.

'He'll go after him…' Axel says from beside me. 'He killed her, he'll know it wasn't he girl…'

'And the pack…' Mags adds.

'It would be a common assumption he'd follow the boy, gain revenge for his district.' Finnick says.

'But he is very devoted to ridding the world of her.' Mags offers.

'He's fixated on her, the way him and Clove worked to watch out for her…they are acting like she is their biggest threat…' Axel says softly.

'Well she is.' I press. 'All they have to go on is what they've seen: she got the highest training score, she killed both Marina and the girl from two, made her own escape when they had her trapped in a tree even with all the tracker-jacker stings…even managing to gain the bow…She's a powerful force to be reckoned with and if I'm honest if we were back in there we'd be thinking the exact same thing.'

'But now Thresh has killed his own…' Axel says.

'As long as they know it was Thresh…' I ponder.

'What you thinking?' Mags says softly.

'Okay more than likely he will think its Thresh but what if he thinks she's somehow managed to fix Peeta…'

'No way.' Axel blurts out. 'Sorry babe but no, he knew where he cut him…how he survived long enough to get the medicine is beyond me.'

'So even if he goes after Thresh…Peeta has a couple of days to recuperate because after Thresh there is only the one from Five…' Finnick points out.

'I never knew just how complicated this thing is….' I mutter.

'Its really not, its only complicated to watch because we don't know.' Finnick says softly.

'After all my years Ayda, its very simple Kill and stay alive.' Mags says, only stumbling a couple of times.

'We should get out of here.' Finnick says standing; and grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair.

'What home?' I ask dumbfounded. All districts must say until after closing show; the Victors ceremony…apparently its so we can applaud the games and congratulate the victor. Blood pools in my mouth as I realise I've bitten the inside of mouth at the prospect of coming face to face with someone who killed my dear little Hugo.

'No Ayda…out of here…out of these four walls.' He donnes his coat, and following suit I pull my fur wrap tightly around my shoulder.

'Go change.' Johanna's voice comes from the entryway. 'Blight is with Haymitch…there is more people out there than I know what to with.' She complains. As she comes into view, I know why I'm being told to change. She is wearing the tightest of leather pants matched with a blood-red blouse that has geometrical cut-outs that shows acres of exposed flesh; even the shoe are sky scrapers, to say the very least.

'Come on…' Axel sighs, standing and offering his hand. I take it and stand, winking at Johanna as our path cross. Once in the confines of the bedroom, Axel throws his hair up into a messy bun and gets to work on my face; something is different I can feel it, vibrating through me like an electric current.

'What's wrong?' I whisper, as the brush dances over my cheeks.

'I don't know.' He admits, the brush slips slightly- just for a second but it shows me everything I would ever need to know.

'You regretting it now?' I whisper, my heart is breaking in my chest as I try and imagine not having him by my side; in the madness he is my calm; though for so long I pushed him away, locked him out he was never far from my thoughts…I was just consumed with pain- but these last few weeks have shown me that I need him, that I belong with him…just like he always knew.

'No!' He says quickly, reaching for my hand. 'I just…these games are different.'

'In what way…'

'The ones who are left…one career and three from low lying districts, and then a girl who doesn't have a scratch on her its just feels so different.'

'No baby its not.' I sigh, turning to look at him. 'You've just never been this close to the drama before.'

We finish my makeup and hair, with fleeting chat; he has made me into the capital queen that I arrived as. My eyes are heavily made me and my brows arched and dramatic; my face has been powered and puffed with contour and highlighters so that my cheekbones look all the more defined and gives the illusion that my face holds a million secrets. My hair is heavy around my face, curl upon spiral curl so that I look a little bit like I have that weird pasta stuff they serve here coming out of my head. He dresses me slowly, his hands lingering on my body as if by touch alone I can remove his pain. In in a pair of tight leather thigh high boots, that are like a second skin; the heel seems to made me grow into someone above all their pettiness. He puts me in a little mini skirt, that looks like the weaved baskets from home, I gasp and run my finger-tips over the material softly.

'You like?'

'I love.' I press my lips to his, when we break apart its only for him to lightly press his forehead to mine so we can both catch out breath.

He slips my arms into a sheer shirt that clings tightly to the bralette that matches my skirt. Looking into the mirror, I look like something that has come fresh from the street of the Capital and not from the fishing district. He clips some heavy earring into the holes that are in my ears, before attaching a cuff to the top of my right ear; it glitters through my hair and gives the illusion that I'm sparkling from within. He rests a heavy mink fur coat on my shoulder, that hangs all the way to the floor; like a cloak and tickles the floor behind me with every step. I look so far removed for me; the darkened lips seem to make my teeth look all the more sharper, the shadows created around my eyes make the green seem all the brighter; all the more caricature, all the more Capital obsessive. I look expensive, I look like a victor who has battled heaven and hell, earth and the moon for their victory and they now do not bend to the simplicity of their district.

Axel changes to, into a pair of tight black pants and a blue shirt that when I run through my finger is the softest of satin. His shoes are smart and formal but nothing like anything I've seen before.

'Snake.' He says as he pulls the first one on.

'Snake?' I ask, but it clicks. The other shoes I'm holding in my hand, and as I run my fingers softly over the material, it all falls into place. 'Wow…' I breathe.

He leaves his hand handing around his face; the dark veil that adds depth to his features and if anything makes him a piece of the Capital jigsaw; with a trench coat thrown on he looks…well he looked yummy…but he also looks ready to face the world.

We wander out hand in hand, I notice both Mags and Finnick have changed to.

'Wow…' Johanna says, eyeing me up.

'Shut up.' I laugh.

'Well at least they wont be looking at me!' She laughs.

The ride in the elevator is short and silent, but as soon as we get into the entry way of the training centre I can hear the tide of capital voices coming in, wave after wave of shouts and cries. I look up and see the board of tributes and their odds; down at the bottom is the girl from five and what sickens me to my stomach is not just her ranking but that fact people are able to bet on when it is she will die. An electronic board has been erected and illuminated there is the odds on when in which she will die that capital folk can bet on.

'That's sick.' I mutter into Axel's shoulder.

'Just keep walking Ay.' He says, squeezing my hand reassuringly; but I can't rip my eyes off the board. The odds are so incredibly tight but as I read more of the boards I realise that betting on the winner isn't just as easy as picking a name. Cato and Katniss are top, with Thresh in a very close third but on the other side of the same screen is an odds list in which Katniss and Peeta reign at the top; the odds of them winning seem to be high as long as they both survive- but as if by a glitch in the system the odds keep flicking; and a little screen at the side displays the stay sleeping forms of Peeta and Katniss; although the blood surrounding Katniss somewhat sickeningly looks to be the shape of a halo…

'Who will die?…Who will win?…' The voice of Caesar Flickerman echoes in the entry way; a recorded constant that is on loop; repeating itself every few seconds. Its haunting, and weirdly enthralling; his voice the mystical master of the games, hypothesising what the future may bring- trapping the Capital in his seduction.

The Capital folk are some of the queerest of people; random and unexpected in their presentation and character- they play a game with the eye, they manipulate their bodies as to draw the most attention; they are a faculty of the imagination; all colour and perception. I cannot blame their love of the games on them; no matter how much the cheering crowd I approach sickens me to my core; they are nothing but puppets of the Capital, programmed to love and encourage the games as, to them it's nothing more than a show. A creation that they celebrate, generations bred to indulge in the 'fun' of the games; to watch as if it's nothing more than the imagination creating an image from a novel…but still as I take the steps leading out of the building I have to swallow back bile that's risen from my stomach at what I've seen this morning, and the smiles and laughter that is alive on their faces.

'Ayda!'

'Ayda!'

'Johanna!'

'It's Finnick!'

The shouts loud and beat down upon us; as voice upon voice over lap so that in truth it's more like a vibration of noise with only the odd word understandable. The high pitched chatter of the crowds echo in my ears, as I walk hand in hand with Axel; as we walk through the crowds I feel hands on me; curious hands wanting to touch my hair and the fur of my coat; the leather of my boots. They not malicious or touching with an criminal intent; they are just like the children back home who like to touch the weaves in the huts; or runs their hands over the soft fabrics of swimming costumes; they are curious, they are excited; all they want is to be part of the drama. They nothing more than innocent children…

'Where we even going?' I say, as a tall man with a flamboyantly orange beard runs his hands along the arm of my coat; I notice his finger tips are also the unsightly shade orange and are like talons: long, curved and pointed.

'To eat!' Finnick says as we manoeuvre our way through the hoard of bodies.

We end up in quaint little place…well I say little…its huge by district standards but from what I know of the Capital its small and…refined. It a floor to ceiling glass structure; the only colour comes from the art-décor flowers that seem to protruding from the glass themselves but as I raise a fingertip to touch the sculptures I find myself only touching air; which makes my gasp and laugh out loud which earns me a couple of curious glances.

'This place is…' I mutter. Taking in the whole atmosphere it seems to vent from its every square inch. The little tables, are all angular and of weird and untypical shapes; that just in any other setting would be ridiculously awkward; but here they just seem to be part of structure. From above my head I see what I can only describe as the sky; but with no even inclination of the glass ceiling- even though I am without doubt of knowledge that it's there; my eyes can't even fathom where in which the sky begins and the glass ends. There seems to be floors just floating in the air, as I look up to the sound of flowing water I notice above me what looks like a waterfall; a picturesque one that that. Cool white rock, aged to the point of beauty; covered in wild and colour filled flowers; and producing a stream of what look to be the clearest of water; although that seems to hover itself in the air; like its defying every force of nature. Things just seem to be hovering the air above us, with no even perception of gravity; for I know there must be strings not one is visible even in the high light- which leaves me in awe of my surroundings, its magical and like something of the imagination. Not to mention the servers, who each and everyone has a quirk; I can't peel my eyes away as I watch them move around. A tall girl wearing skyscraper heels in the brightest of magenta, with hair that seems to have been connected to form of current as it sticks up wildly in every possibly direction; the golden tips catches the light every time she moves. Then a male who has more piercings and alterations that I thought humanly possible; he's like a walking piece of metal; and then when he turns I notice what look to be wings somehow manipulated into his back; near his shoulder blades; they sprout out and hang through the slits in the back of his shirt; I don't whether to be in awe or to gag at the very sight. Its grotesque, it's a manipulation of flesh as even though the gaps of the sheer shirt I can see the skin hooked around the wings; as if by a natural form of evolution, he has sprouted them and that just a total normality- as he walks I watch and see that no-one even gives a second glance at them, which only makes me even more curious as to what else I'm going to encounter now that I've actually noticed. I feel axel tug on my arm, as I look at his face I see a smirk.

'Weird, aren't they?' He whispers in my ear; I nod, raising my eyebrows. 'A new phenomenon, something else they can do. I saw a woman with feathers implanted around her neck…'

'What?' I hiss, thoroughly grossed out.

'Exactly.'

'Promise me one thing…' I squeak.

'Anything.' I replies.

'Never, ever get anything like that.'

'No way baby.' He laughs as we are directed to our seat by a woman who has hoops protruding from her knuckles and hair that is more fabric than actual hair strands.

'Excuse me?' I hear a voice from behind me, its light and airy; like the sound the shell decorations make when they click gently together in the wind at home. I turn expectantly and my eyes widen of their own accord as I take in the figure before me. The girl must be no more than ten…maybe pushing eleven; she is slim and I would like to say naturally pretty but I wouldn't be able to say with confidence. She has eyelashes that slick against her brows, they are long and almost look like the legs of spiders; her hair is the most goriest of pink, the bright and electric kind that almost glow; its far past her bum and seems to be a cape that infolds her; though not long enough to mask the heavy heels that are on her feet and the fact her skin seems to be tinged with blue from head to toe- I register it not to be through aliment but to be a fashion fad; as I notice the woman behind her is sporting a look of yellow which clashes awfully with the aqua hair that's in cornrows, adorned with ornamental flowers and what looks to be butterflies.

'Yes?' I say a little hesitantly.

'Your Ayda right?' The girl says almost faintly.

'Yes…'

'Oh I love you!' And without further warning her arms are enveloped around my neck and she's hugging me tight; it takes me a few seconds to hug her back although I do so with the upmost discomfort; its physically awkward. After a couple, too many moments she steps back, and beams at me; I try and return the smile but its more false, probably as real as her eyelashes.

'And you are?' Axel says from beside me, placing a hand on my knee.

'I'm Onyx.' The older woman says, holding her hand out to me; I take it and she holds on tight. 'This is my daughter, Azure.' The young girl, blushes from head to toe…or at least I think as a bloom forms in her cheeks. 'She is the most grateful of you.' The woman gushes.

'Oh really, may I ask why?' I say, feigning another smile.

'Well she just adores you, wishes she was you!'

'The way you won! The way you made the weapons! The way you killed…you were amazing!' The girl gushes; and suddenly I realise what she is…another Capital puppet.

'Thank you.' I say not wanting to be rude; but although her very words have sickened me to my stomach.

'The amount of times we had her hair like yours!' Her mother laughs, I laugh back but the sound is alien to even my own ears.

'Will you sign this?' The girl asks, handing me what looks to be the size of a book but lights up as she touches the front; and takes a pen out the side.

'Sign what?' I ask, bamboozled.

'Her pad.' The mother says, placing the 'pad' into my hands. It's lighter than I expected, and the pen is literally almost weightless; and as I touch the tip of the pen to the screen I see the dot replicated on the pad; I look up quizzically at Finnick who just regards my amazement with a smirk. With a couple of swirls of my hand, I write my name; loving the feel of the pen in my grip and the easy flow that comes with the pen. With another extraordinarily long hug, and time enough for both Mags, Finnick and Johanna to sign her 'pad', we are left alone. I look around the table, we're all silent.

'Fame…' Johanna hisses.

'Victor.' I murmur.

'At least we're alive.' Finnick says softly as the desserts are served.


	21. Chapter 21

Its been three days, seven hours and twenty-six minutes since the end of the feast and in that time, we have lost one but somehow gained two. I don't mean new tributes I mean new people who have been born from cinders of their former selves; like the coal they mine in their districts to light our fires, Katniss and Peeta have become a team to be truly acknowledged as a contender. By some miracle Peeta looks as though he never encountered Cato's sword and instead took merely a small cut; which is only visible through a small limp when he walks but Katniss is a powerhouse; strong certainly not one to ignore.

We lost five though…the day after the feast. Katniss and Peeta went out hunting for food; unknown to them she was trailing them. She looked very underfed and a small of me cried for her; her cheeks were hollowed and her eyes looked as if they'd lost all their sparkle; it looked as if she was slowly starving to death. She followed Peeta when Katniss took the bow to hunt some meat; Peeta came across some berries…dangerous things, night something…night-lock… he had Finnick shouting at the screen in warning, made me jump and spill my tea! Night-lock is basically death in a berry…before it even has a chance to get down your throat your dead. Peeta had collected a whole bunch of them and had went back for more when she'd pounced on the berries; eating a handful straight off whilst picking up another…she didn't get a chance to eat them. The cannon had fired in under ten seconds of her popping that first mouthful in. She looked so small in death, as if she'd shrunk in the arena not just physically but everything about her was weakened; the mysterious and sly character from the interviews and the very start of the games was gone replaced by a girl almost unrecognisable.

That's the thing with these games, they aren't games…they aren't humane. They take away everything you hold as being human; you are a savage foraging to survive in a strange terrain; you kill in order to survive- it's the most oxymoronic vessel known to man. To help keep the importance of living in peace clear in the districts; each must a send two to live in hell and probably die just to stop a war...how does killing solve anything but make the hatred greater, the need for change all the more potent.

Katniss had screamed for Peeta and ran; she's noticed straight off; Peeta hadn't ate a mouthful. But his eyes had fell on Five and something in his eyes alone had scared me. he'd believed it to be Cato's kill but it was Katniss that alerted him to the true reality; as understanding hit him like a freight train; his eyes seemed to double in size and he paled as in took in small, malnourished body in front of him. They hunted and gathered after; collecting a couple of days' worth before heading back to their little cave. Cato was on the other side of the arena, going after Thresh; They were locked in the tall reeds; slipping away from each-other. Thresh is clever, so very clever; if anything he looks stronger and more powerful now than what he did when he first entered the arena, his body hasn't slackened with lack of food if anything he looks better feed! They have been in slow pursuit of each other over the last few days but the hollowing storm that hit two days back has made the viewing nail biting; I haven't been able to tear my eyes from the scream when images flash on. Katniss and Peeta are happily tucked away in their cave but Thresh and Cato…its building something is building to…

'Your wanted.' Finnick's voice is numb; its dark and cold and…something I can't pinpoint.

'What do you mean?' I ask tentatively, turning in Axel's arms; to look over to the lifts.

'Your wanted down in the main plaza.' Finnick gives nothing away with his voice, its emotionless but held so very tightly that its almost breaking free.

'Why?' I ask, turning fully so that I'm resting on the backrest of the couch.

'I don't know, just got told to tell you that you're to present yourself in the main plaza in two hours.'

'By who?' His face drops at my words, and the expressionless void that he was holding in place slips and I see there something that scares me more than anything…its uncertainty mingled with fear. He licks his lips, and nervously flicks his hair; my stomach is doing butterflies…

'Snow.' It's like I've been physically punched in my chest; my breath leaves me as I huff out all the oxygen in my lungs in a surprised exclaim.

'What does he want with her?' Axel's voice is sharp, but it is only a distant echo in the background. My mind is in shock, I can't comprehend Finnick's words- why does Snow what to see me? The last time I saw that man was when he placed the Victor crown upon my head…

 _I stood in a sea blue dress that hung to my mid-calf and swung out huge every time I moved; it was adorned with beautiful sparkly things that caught the light and bounced off in every direction- it wasn't till much later Axel told me that the they were in fact jewels…diamonds to be exact, from One. The dress clung to me like another skin till it hit my waist and then it flared out; girlish and feminine as if to contradict why I was standing there receiving a crown. My hair had been weaved into an intricate crown; the front of my head was weaved with a length of clear material that held more diamonds at regular intervals; they shone in my hair as if I was already wearing a crown of my own. A huge comb sat snug at the back, where the crown sat; a silver piece adorned with sky blue jewels that also seemed to revel in the light. I was in heels and felt weirdly tall and so unlike myself having been so used to the tight boots I'd had in the games; my feet felt awkward and as if I had two left ones instead of a right and a left. My knees though covered shook as I sat I the thrown waiting on him…Snow…_

 _The thrown was something else, a heavy magnificent creation of the smoothest most subtle wood, carved and moulded so that it's pieces seemed flawless as if somehow made from a single piece of wood instead of many pieces all put together. The back had a metal decoration, an almost homely addition to the Capital-ness that was over flowing from me. A little-known fact to any is that upon winning the games, you get your crown but you also get to keep thrown; mine sits in the little glass room which sits at the back of my house, it overlooks the sea- I keep it to remind me of who I was and who I can be- to me it's not a bad thing, its proof I was strong enough to survive. I heard the drums, the pound of the beaters against the stretched leather; a thud that seemed to echo to the very roots of my teeth. His footsteps echoed along the stone steps, that twist up to the very balcony where the victor is crowned. My crown sat on red pillow, adorned with tassels at all four corners, and a golden trim. My crown shone, a gold piece that seemed to just hold so much meaning to me in that moment. It was smoothed at the edges, but the band was heavily designed, a design embedded into the gold itself…for me it was a promise, a promise that the future would be better. He wore a blue suit, a nice suit: a white shirt, a matching waistcoat and even one of those funny pocket watches…. he even had a handkerchief in his pocket! He smiled at me, a flash of extremely white teeth; his eyes had bored into mine as he'd stood in front and a foot servant probably brought the cushion forward; as if playing to the cameras he slowly lifted it from the cushion so that the light caught every angle. He'd lowered it to my head, it was heavier than I expected and rested at the very top of my forehead._

' _You did well.' He'd said, again smiling._

' _Thank you.' I'd smiled back, my knees knocking so much I was surprised he didn't hear it._

' _You have done your district proud, you have done your president proud.' His smile had been all kinds of chilling, his look had been almost predatory like a bitcher eyeing up a good piece of meat._

' _I hope so.' I'd said, feeling a bloom rise in my cheeks._

' _You are a worthy champion, you are one we will remember.'_

 _His parting words had been the most chilling, the most questioning, the most horrifying._

' _Yes…we will have more of you.'_

 _He'd turned and addressed the crowd with a small nod of his head, with a final smile in my direction that sent a horrifying shiver down my spine he'd left as quickly as he had arrived._

 _His words had echoed in my head that entire night, as if on repeat._

'I don't know.' Finnick admits, shaking his head.

'Just her?' Axel asks.

'Just her.' Finnick agrees.

'Well best get dressed up!' I try and joke, but my laugh sticks in my throat so much so I feel like I'm going to choke on it- I'm scared; deep down I'm terrified that he knows. Knows what I know, knows I've joined their forces…knows I know just how cruel he can be. I fear that this could be the pivotal moment when my future is panned out…or even worse is that this could be me exterminated, taken out like my parents.

'It will be fine.' Axel says, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me close to his chest.

'Come on.' I sigh after a couple of moments of feeling safe in his arms. We stand and wander in thoughtful silence to our room where he remakes me…quite literally. My whole face is erased only to be reapplied harshly and darkened. Heavy brows, statement liner, huge lashes. Highlighted cheekbones, defined features, harlequin red lips. My nails are created and mastered, red sharpened points. My hair is curled so that it bounces around my face and shoulders, hanging to my waist in a curtain of golden hair; Axel braids a small section at the front which hangs weaved with a thin strand of black leather, it's like an eclipse against my bright blonde locks. He helps me slip into a dress, a harlequin red leather dress that is skin tight and seems to hug every one of my curves; the dress is short, the tight leather stopping just half way down my thighs. My feet are laced into a knee-high pair of black leather lace up boots, with a peep-toe; the heel is high, a skyscraper in itself- making me look so much taller than my normal frame. On my shoulders a black leather cape is placed, it touches the floor behind me; it will caress the ground with every step I take. Around my waist Axel secures a black wide leather belt, sculpted to my curves, highlighting the curve of my waist. On my left leg he stencils a black flowered pattern that twists its way from my knee to wear the dress comes to my thigh; its erotic and intricate in ways I never thought art could be. Around my neck is a choker, a ruby, hangs in the very hollow of my throat; as he attaches matching studs to my ears. I stand and look at my reflection as Axel bustles over to the other side of the room doing something, I don't watch him I just look at myself, at how different this place makes me; how disgusted my parents must of be of what has become of their daughter. I wonder if they will like my relationship with Axel, they met him once…the morning of the Victory tour…I squeeze my eyes such that memory is too painful. The last time I laid eyes on them; mum with her wide smile and glitter in her eyes and Dad bemused by the whole charade but more than happy to watch with an open curiosity the camera crew set up. I'm so far removed from that now, not even the same person I was back then, I have been dealt a hand of cards that have the potential to ruin me but I will not let them; I may have been dealt some blows but I will like a phoenix from the flames be reborn…I will live for them all, all who have died and all who I love…

'Hey Ay…' Axel's voice comes from behind me, its like he's unsure of himself. I turn bemused by his voice, to see him nervously run his hand through his hair.

'What have you done?' I laugh.

'Ay do you love me?' His question makes me laugh, but one look at his face tells me he is utterly serious; he isn't just asking, he is asking with a purpose.

'Of course, I do and have done for long enough you should know!' I smile.

'Good…' He breathes, he runs his hand through his hair once more before looking into my eyes; I smile at him and for some reason it was like he was waiting on that smile. As if in slow motion he lowers himself down onto one knee, shock emancipates from my body; as a gawp at him. He reaches out and snags my left hand in his, the red of my nails catch the light; he looks up at me; his eyes bright and alive.

'I couldn't not do this now, I can't let you go to him again without doing this. I love you Ay…I really do; since the moment I walked into the remake room, I was a goner to you. This may be weird and sudden and ridiculously un orthodox but I think we were put together for a reason and that reason is that nobody could ever love you more than I; I will follow you anywhere, into the pits of hell if I have too because if the time we've spent apart has taught me anything it's that I don't want to live without you, and I won't. Say no and I'll just ask again and again until you say yes; Ay I watched you battle to survive, I watched you become a shell, I saw you scream for your parents but for me that is not enough because I want to see everything; I want to love you till my last breath and I want you to be my wife…will you?' In his hand, he produces a ring box, that before I hadn't seen. He flips open the lid of the little satin box and inside is a ring. A beautiful ring. A big clear stone, that glitters in the bedroom light; my heart skips a beat.

'Will you?' He says again, looking me full in the face.

'Yes.' I whisper.

His smile is radiating, as he takes the ring from its box and slides it onto my third finger. A feeling builds inside me, one as beautiful and perfect as a soap bubble but just as fragile…it's a hope, just a little bit; but its effective in letting the substantial fear inside with draw enough to let me feel that not all is lost. He stands and takes hold of my right hand as well as my left. The ring feels so right on my finger, and as I look up to his face I feel a feeling blooming inside of me; it's one I have long forgotten, one I don't let myself indulge in…it's the love of a family…His lips lower to mine and I get lost in the moment; as his mouth fits so perfectly to my own and I feel totally and completely happy.

My knees are knocking, and I feel like I'm going to be sick at any moment. I am in a town car that was sent to collect me and take me to the main plaza. The ride through the Capital feels like a lifetime, its feels like I have been trapped in the confines of this car for an eternity; my heart is pounding and my mind is in overdrive.

Why does he want to see me?

Why does he want this done away from the training centre?

Why do I have to come here alone?

What is he going to say?

The words circulate around my head, in a constant repetitive cycle that makes the confines of the car all the more suffocating; I feel like a prisoner walking to the gallows.

Is that what I'm walking too? Am I signing my own death warrant by making this journey?

I can't keep my fingers from touching the ring on my finger; and that alone is enough to possibly break me because I can't leave him. I can't have alone in this world…

The car pulls up, and I want to puke. My stomach is rolling and it's all I can do to stop myself from heaving. My heartbeat is irregular to say the least, as I step out of the car and make sure my cape is flowing behind me. The heels feel all the more precarious as I take the steps; one foot in front of the other has never felt as hard; I concentrate on trying to breathe and walk without my fear being all too evident. The Avox who opened my car door, walks in front guiding my way through the expensive corridors of the main plaza. The Carpets are so soft my heels sink in, as if I'm walking through sand; the only noise comes from my breathing and the brush of my cape along the carpet surface. Frame after golden frame line the heavily papered walls; each holding a face unfamiliar and Capitalised. I'm led into a room at the very top of the building, the east wall leads out to a huge balcony, that overlooks one of the main squares in the Capital; it's a glorious view, all colour and quirky architecture. I stand watching the Capital bustle underneath me; like the queen bee watching her swarm in the hive; they are so small from all the way up here and to an extent pitiful. Its only as I hear the door handle click that I look away and walk into the room again. I stand and let myself watch as he enters, even though I expect him my heart pounds when he steps into the room.

President Snow has not changed, he was young when he got the throne and to still have it after so very long shows him to be either a very good leader or a manipulative bastard. His face has been so capitalised, that his lips appear even puffier than they did when I last cast a close eye to him; his cheeks are plumped and volumized in rouge. He walks with a confident air, that pulses from his every pore. As he comes closer to me, the smell of the roses attacks my nostrils; the closer he comes the more poignant it becomes.

'Ayda my dear.' He greets me, as we stand opposite one and other.

'Present Snow.' I greet, swallowing and trying to find some much-needed moisture.

'You have made the show this year.'

'I'm nothing but a mentor.'

'Alas I think any formalities can be disregarded; you are news.'

'I wasn't aware.'

'Don't lie my dear.'

'Honestly I…'

'And you'll be even more so.' He says, looking at my left hand and without as much as asking he takes it into his; bringing it close to his face and pressing his lips to the top of my hand. 'Yes, even more news; young Axel does know his diamonds.'

'It could be anything…I'm not akin to precious stones.' I say softly.

'I suppose not.' He chuckles softly, a very natural sound.

'Not much a chance to learn in four.' I smile.

'I should have realised…you love young Axel.' It isn't a question but I nod my head anyways. 'He wants to move with you, wants to live in Four…such a waste…'

'Such a waste?' I question, before I realise I've spoken, 'Sorry.' I stutter.

'Do not worry young Ayda, in answer to your question it is alas a waste as he has the potential here to bloom.'

'Bloom?'

'Bloom like a rose, if he is tended to well and given the opportunity.'

'And he could have that?' I ask softly.

'Very much so, his purity and intentions are what I would favour in my highest of prized citizens.'

'And me marrying him would make that an impossibility?' It's all becoming clear as to why I have been summoned, he wants our relationship ended; wants to keep his Capital pawns on his own side of the board. 'You want me to call off the engagement? Give him a chance to 'bloom'.'

'No, I don't want that. You have earned yourself the privilege in those games to be safe and to be happy; you are the little piece of hope that keeps the people sated.'

'Then what are you saying? Why did you call me here?'

'Follow me out, and then we shall talk.' I follow him out onto the balcony, where he leads me to a wooden bench, covered in padded cushions. He is silent for a few moments.

'You were not meant for the districts my dear.'

'Excuse me?'

'Your beauty, strength and will; you are worth more than any district.'

'I…'

'Young Axel sees it and as do I.'

'What are you saying President?'

'I am talking in riddles.' He smiles, showing a set of perfect pearl white teeth. 'I am saying no to Axel leaving the Capital to reside in your district.'

'What? No!' I whisper; my heart feels like it is breaking in my chest. I can't see through a sheen of tears that I try my hardest to blink back; and that is it…

'He has too much to give to surrender to a life in the districts but I am willing to offer you something I have yet in all my years of power offered. You are a white rose, still not fully in bloom; your purity rivals his and you my dear Ayda have come to be in my favour so it is now I present you a one-time offer. A chance of change, a chance of love…that is if you will take the leap.'

'Which is?' I breath, not daring to talk higher than a whisper.

'I'm offering you citizenship.'

'What?'

'Capital citizenship.' He clarifies.

'I don't understand.' I stutter.

'I am offering you the chance to stay with the ones you love; you will return to Four but only to collect those items that you prize; upon then you will return to the Capital and there you will live; only returning for the yearly reaping if your needed to act as the female mentor.'

'So I live here?'

'You live here and get your prince.'

The odds still aren't in favour, cause now I will be on his side of the board…a black pawn right next to the white king…because I have no choice but to agree.


	22. Chapter 22

**Very soppy chapter but just go with it! Reviews…**

'He said what?' Axel hisses through his teeth.

The ride back from the main plaza, was a silent one. I couldn't breathe properly, as the information seemed to finally filter through all my numbness. We'd had tea, he'd smiled at me and kissed my hand before he'd dismissed me. I'd stumbled through the tribute training centre and into the elevator, my knees shaking and vomit rising in my throat. I'd barely managed to get to the couches, when my knees gave up and I just began to sob, surrounded by my darkened cape I wept; hearing voices but having norecollection of whose; feeling a pair of arms envelope me but not caring whose. Axel had carried me to the couches, and held me tight on his lap as I ruined one of his shirts with my constant stream of sobbing and tears; I don't know where the tears came from but it was like I'd found a dam in myself and I couldn't stop. It took a long time for the sobbing to subside and be replaced with the hiccupping of unsobbed tears; two teas later I'm still huddled on Axel's lap but I seem to have some form of control on my emotions, enough at least so I can recollect what was said to my family; because that's what they are. The moment I'd saw all their faces, the pieces clicked together and the idea of leaving Four was like being doused in an ice bath; it would be like leaving the only connections I have to Four behind, leaving the only two people who nurtured me like parents; but then I'd saw Axel's and the whole cycle got worse because the idea of leaving behind is like the fear I felt upon entering the games, an unimaginable pain…that's only comparable to a painful and slow death.

'He said that he isn't going to give you passage to the district…' That's as far as I've able to say, the first words I've uttered and they've destroyed the calm embodiment that is my Fiancé.

'He can't do that!' Axel shouts making me jump.

'He's the President, I think he can.' I whisper.

'But what does that mean? I'm not going back to what we were! We're engaged for fuck sakes!'

'You're what?' Mags interrupts.

'Oh…' I smile, holding up my left hand.

'My pretty, pretty girl.' She smiles, clasping her hands together and beaming at me.

'Did you…' Finnick says.

'He knows but that didn't change his mind but…'

'But nothing! Ayda I'm coming with you…'

'Will you listen to me?!' I shout, taking them all by surprise.

'Are you changing your mind?' Axel asks, looking at me with wide fearful eyes.

'No…Jesus no!' I say quickly. 'I will never change my mind! He didn't just take me there to say that.' I say softly.

'What did he say?' Finnick prompts.

'It would be more potent to say 'what did he offer' because that's what it is…' I correct quietly.

'Baby what did he say?' Axel breathes.

'He offered me citizenship.' I hear Mags gasp loudly.

'What Capital citizenship?' Axel gasps.

'Yeah…'

'And why would he do that?'

'Control.' Finnick answers Axel's question.

'He's never offered that before… to no victor…no-one born outside of the Capital…ever…' Axel breaths.

'Yeah I know…' I mutter.

'Why did he offer this Ay?'

'Because he thinks it would be wasting your talent.' I whisper.

'What?'

'Oh and apparently I'm not meant for the districts, I'm yet in full bloom…'

'So what does that mean?' Axel says, gripping my chin between his fingers, so I can look no-where but at him.

'It means…' I take a deep breath and looking into his eyes. 'it means I have no choice but to move here.'

'I can still…'

'No you can't.' I interrupt him. 'He has said no, and he means it. Our only option to be together is to take this olive branch.'

'I don't like it Ay.' Finnick sighs; I turn to look at him; his face seems somewhat pained; as does Mags'.

'Either do I…but I'm not leaving him behind.'

'Ayda…' Axel tries.

'No you listen to me, I won those games and I want what I was offered as victor; happiness and safety! And your my happiness and my safety; I pushed you away because I was scared but I know this is where I belong and I can't go back to being isolated little Ayda; I won't.' I lick my lips, as I watch my words sink into those surrounding me. 'I love Four, it's my home but I have to realise that what I want are two mutually exclusive things- I can't have home and Axel and without Ax I go back to being that pathetic excuse of a victor who lives each day in fear…' I turn my head so I'm looking purely at Finnick and Mags. 'You got me home, you got me out that arena; you became my mum and dad; my friends and everything in-between…'

'You don't have to explain Ay…' Finnick says softly, letting his eyes trap my own. 'You've found your Annie.'

His words make my eyes fill with tears, because its acceptance it wholehearted knowledge that this is what is best for me. It's him giving the blessing that this will be okay; and this can be a happily ever after…or as close to as I can get.

'I just don't know how to say goodbye to home…' My voice catches in my throat. All I can see are my parents' graves. Our graveyard at home is a calm and beautiful place…some people get taken to sea but others are buried…if you can afford it. My parents were buried because of my _status_ , I'd spent a solid two days at their graves as soon as I got home from the victory tour; just looking at the nets swung over the top of two large grey stones that marked their place. I go most days when I'm home, the yard is not far from the Victors' Village, and the smell of salty water is lazy in the air as it hangs over the sparse scattering of memorial stones; each embellished with a scattering of seaweed and stones and the oldened net that is cast over them on the day of burial. It's a good place to think, I hadn't went on the morning before this reaping because Axel had turned up but in fact I kind of wish I had now…because my visits will now be numbered.

'You don't have to.' Axel says.

'Well yes I do.' I counter.

'Ayda if anything I should be the one to move you've already been through enough; this is just me asking too much of you.'

'What you on about?'

'We've been kidding ourselves that this can work…'

'Don't you dare!' I hiss.

'Ayda I'm not letting you leave all that you love behind.' He says standing and sitting me on the couch.

'Yeah well I ain't leaving you behind.'

'We're just going to…' Finnick says as he and Mags stand and move off towards the elevators.

'You think your being a gentleman letting me go home but your not…'

'Ayda think about all you'll have to leave behind.'

'I can't leave you behind!'

'What is that supposed to mean? Your strong…you got through this last year without me…'

'You're my Annie!' I shout.

'What?' He puffs out, as if all the oxygen has been pushed from his lungs.

'You're my Annie, you make it okay.'

'I don't get this Annie thing!' He says, which makes me smile which in turn makes him smirk until we are both chuckling softly.

'The Annie thing?' Finnick laughs, and its then I realise that they didn't leave; they'd stayed just to make sure I'm okay.

'The Annie thing? I like it.' Mags laughs.

'The Annie thing is a private meaning…' Finnick explains, sitting on one of the chairs.

'So this is about you and your Annie?'

'Yes; me and my Annie.' Finnick's voice goes soft at the very mention of her name. 'See I fell for my Annie, and in that moment I knew she was the only girl for me; as tortured by the games as she is and as damaged as some may see her to me she is every piece of perfection; if you believe in soul mates believe that she is mine; she completes me; makes me feel happy and like I have a meaning. She saved me.' Finnick plays with the necklace hooked under his top. 'So what she is saying Axel is that you complete her; you make it hurt that little bit less so that you can see the good in life; you make each day bearable and hold all the pieces of her together when she actually feels like she's falling apart.'

'I have seen it son.' Mags says softly; walking over and placing her hand on Axel's arms that are crossed tightly over his chest. 'She was losing herself, living with all the fear; here I have seen the Ayda I haven't seen since before her parents died; I thought this was going to break her but son you've weaved your magic and you need to accept that she isn't just doing this for you…her moving is for herself because when you said you couldn't live without her when she was in the arena…she now feels the same and she is taking this leap of faith because it's good for her…'

'You said that?' I breathe.

'Say what?' Axel asks; still looking at Mags.

'You said you couldn't live without me…' My heart is pounding, a million miles an hour.

'Yeah…' He says.

'But you hardly knew me…' I murmur.

'I knew you enough to know I loved you, the moment I saw you Ay.' He turns and smiles at me; the bunched-up muscles in his arms softening. 'You bewitched me…'

'So why try and send me away?' I urge.

'Because I don't want to force you into a life, I love you enough to let you go.'

'Yeah well, I'm staying, I love you enough to leave it all behind; I want to be your wife. I'm eighteen and been through enough shit that I know what I want; I'm not some kid and neither are you. We're young and we both know that life is short; my life could have been over two years ago but it wasn't and now I want to spend the rest of mine happy with someone who loves me; so as long as your proposal is honest and the way you feel is true I'm staying right here; where I belong because this is my home.' It's like Mags and Finnick disappear because the words flowing from my mouth are the ones I hold close to my heart, the ones that are the card you play last. 'At home, all I have are my memories, and I loved that before I came here; before I realised that you were the part of me that was missing. You make me feel, with you I'm almost whole again and my heart isn't as broken and I have hope that there is a future that isn't as torturing or as petrifying as the world I've seen.'

'I'm a victor Axel, you saw me win. You saw the broken mess that came out of that arena. You saw the girl who couldn't come to terms with what she did or even who she was because all she could see was the girl who was a murderer; then you stayed with me the night that my world fell apart and I lost the two most important people to me, you made sure I didn't break…then you made sure that I was still in one piece every day after that on the victory tour…my life is a dictatorship of what Snow says I can and can't; and always will be but he can't dictate who I love, where my heart lies and who I know is capable of making each day that little brighter, showing there is something better for me then what haunts my dreams and harbours at the edge of my every thought- and that's why it's not as much a decision I ever had to make it's a leap of faith and I trust that you will catch me so I don't fall. Axel this isn't just about you, this is about me…this is about me trying to find the life I was promised…the life of a victor…'

'Ayda I…' Axel starts, before taking a long breath. 'So, you'll move here, for me?'

'Yes.' I breathe.

I don't know who moves first but I'm his arms; and the world is spinning as he spins us in a circle.

'You sure?' He asks.

'More than I've ever been in my life.'

And its those words I utter now, that make it all fit into place. The capital may be the place my nightmares began, but if I hadn't of been reaped I would never of came to know just how I could be; and what I could have. I would have been a woman, married and working- who too must send her children to a reaping…yet now…yet now I feel like I may finally be tasting freedom…

'What about the…you know other 'victors'?' Axel breathes, loud enough for Finnick and Mags to hear.

'I didn't say I was doing this because of him.' I whisper.

'What do you mean?' Finnick asks.

'Well he doesn't know one thing…' I smirk.

'Ayda…' Finnick laughs.

'I'm the eyes, right inside the capital.'

He may be forcing my hand, he may have made me choose love over my district but he doesn't know that one day I hope to see his little kingdom destroyed and I will do anything to make that fact…

He's a murderer.

He's a dictator.

He's unworthy of his title.


	23. Chapter 23

My world has become disgruntled, a haze of unnerving futures that never seem to be set in stone. The idea of leaving home haunts my every move, and I have registered nothing of the last couple of days but shadows of people and their words that seem to be just background noise to the theatrical production that has become my life since that very moment my name was plucked from the reaping ball, and uttered from Kizzy's lips. Axel is trying, for many a times he has tried to debate with me any turn of possibility but fact is…there isn't anything to play all our cards are on the table and in truth we have no choice but to cave. I know I can do a lot from the Capital, see a lot but the idea of being alone here without any flicker of home weaved into the tapestry is one that fills me with a hollowness that nothing seems to be able to fill. I know in my head Axel is my new home, and nothing in me will deny myself the ability to be with him but the idea of not being able to look out my window and smell the salty tang of the sea or hear the waves crashing into the weathered cliffs -that give our district that feeling of security- fills me with an ache that resides nowhere but in my soul. A piece of me belongs in Four, as that girl who was loved by two parents and swam in the sea for fun not as an outlet for pain; the girl who held the innocence of youth and didn't know of pain, hurt and sacrifice. The girl who wasn't a killer; the girl whose name had yet to be reaped from that ball. A hallowed part of me craves to go home, to that life that I've accustomed myself to…the life of a victor that has lost everything…but the thing is…the one thing they never tell you about losing everything is that when you do find hope, just a little is effective- just a little bit is enough to ease away the pain.

Like a drug.

My own personal form of therapy.

Like now I sit in front of the mirror looking at my face, made-up by Axel. I don't know how long I've been looking at my reflection; noticing just how bright the green of my eyes is against the black contrast of lashes; or how my face holds a depth that is all powders and liner. My hair is up in a big intricate knot…lots of singular curls folded together like origami to create something that looks so very delicate to the eye but has the easy familiarity of carelessness. My lips are the feminist of pink, a soft glitter of rose only adding to the femininity of my face and giving me a glimpse of the girl who once lived inside because everything that was rosy dissolved into nothingness…I was not so long ago living a life in a state of non-being; I was trudging water, being taken into a whirlpool of quick sand that I could fight; the will in me to live gone only to be replaced with a need to survive- and trust me to just survive is to live a life without essence. Axel dressed me in a soft dress, smooth to the touch as I run my fingers down the material that caresses my body with its waves. I do not know which of me I am; I am now a mix of that girl who can hibernate in the sea and the one I see before me immersed in the Capital's games. I am no longer my parent's daughter, I am not the girl they nurtured; but I'm not the girl Axel fell in love with either. My scars are buried deep and for some unfathomable reason he still loves me…despite all my fucked-up traits my fortune has dealt me.

'Ayda!' I hear Axel shout, he left some time ago…I don't know why but words don't seem to be coming as freely as they did to my lips; it takes two swallows and a large intake of breath before I can even force a single word from my lips.

'Yeah?'

'We need to head off soon?' Somehow it comes across as a question, without my conscious though my eyes flicker back to focus on my reflection; I can't take my eyes away from the mirror, I wish I could look into my very soul and take it apart piece by piece until I find what is really best for me…but as I look into the mirror I can't see past deciphering the difference between the old me and the one who sits before me. I don't know how much time passes, I can't rip my eyes away from my own reflection; can't seem to find it in myself to turn my back on what I have become. I only realise time has passed when I feel a hand on my shoulder, I look up and see Axel reflected above me in the mirror. His face is unreadable at best, but as my eyes find his I see something there; something I didn't see in my own…

I have no control of the tears that seem to just be flooding from my eyes; final free of some dam I never knew existed- I don't have the strength to stop them, and I can't find any reason to try because it's like final ripping the band-aid away; like resurfacing the water and taking in some precious air.

In Axel I see what can be…instead of what should be; and for once I'm not going to over think this. For once I'm not going to analyse it.

I'm going to just jump, and hope he will catch me…I don't doubt he will.

'So, this is where you live?' I ask perplexed. The place before me is extreme to say the least; a random affair of colour. Pastel coloured buildings on a modern street, in the very centre of the Capital.

'Yeah, why?' Axel laughs at my expression, which I must admit must look somewhere between sheer amazement and outright surprise.

'Look at it!' I enthuse. I am not one for materialism but even I can adore the beauty of the place; a quirky building with an air of expense enthused from the foundations.

'Whatever!' He laughs. 'Want to see inside?' He asks with an almost nervous note.

'Sure.' I breathe, squeezing his hand which is interlaced with mine. He opens the main door with a gentlemanly flourish and if I was impressed by the outside the entryway of the apartment block is a small part of paradise; in the centre of the room (although I feel slightly ridiculous calling it a room because its HUGE!), there is what seems to be a… a water fountain, complete with stone structure and what looks like glass seating areas flecked with colours…

'I know…weird, isn't it?' Axel laughs, pointing to the elevator in the corner; a pure glass structure like the one in the training centre except more well used…but still impeccably clean and modern- so very far removed from anything we'd even dream of having in the districts. I stand mesmerised watching the outside world zip past us and become smaller and smaller as the glass structure takes us further up the building. I look up and find Axel watching me; a blush blooms in my cheeks as I look back into his eyes.

'What you looking at?' I smirk.

'The view.'

'It's a beautiful place.'

'You're a beautiful person.'

There is no more time for talk, even of the sweetest fashion. The lift stops and as we step out I notice just two doors on a huge landing way; complete with a couch, an empty fireplace and what looks like a huge screen. I think my eyes show my surprise, that this could be someone's home. It's funny because my time as a tribute and this year as a mentor have been a harsh look at capital life but I've always believed that most of the glamour in the training centre is purely for the reaction but in fact it's not because even the entryway is bigger than most people's entire homes. Axel leads me to the furthest door and seems to produce a key card from nowhere, the door way is huge complete with what seems like an indoor porch! The click of the internal locks, brings me back to the doorway and I'm hyperaware of the Axel's hand in mine…this feels like a very important moment one that I should lock into memory forever more…

The door opens at Axel hand and I'm frozen, my entire body alive with electricity unable to move. Every nerve ending in my body is alive and on edge; hyper aware of what is to come. I take a glance at Axel's hand in mine, and feel a soft smile trace my lips; a sense of tranquillity overcoming my frazzled senses. This is Axel the boy who loved me when I didn't love myself, the boy who fell when I was in the depth of the games, the boy whose heart is the crux of beginning. I feel my body melt and the electric current dullen, I take a step over the threshold and hear Axel let out a very long breath.

'Welcome home.' He murmurs close to my ear, as my eyes scan what seems to be the entryway of a ginormous apartment…bigger than my home in victors' village.

'This is all yours?' I gasp, stepping further into the apartment, looking into doorways seeing a sprawling kitchen complete with a huge open-plan dining room, the apartment seems to be sprawling, each corner emitting more doorways.

'What do you mean?' He asks looking at me with a worried frown.

'All this is yours? You live here alone?'

'Well yeah, I did… at least I hope I did…' He adds nervously.

'This place is huge!' I look up at him, trying to telepathically explain my sheer disbelief at what I'm seeing; that this huge place, big enough to fit at least a handful of people's homes in the districts, is… or was only homed by one. One person in all this space.

'It's not compared some of the places!' He says, as if embarrassed.

'Really?' I ask with evident incredulity in my tone.

'Really.' He confirms.

'I don't even know what to say…' I stumble over my words, in shock at what is clearly just the norm here; how the general folk live…all made up, in flowing oversized apartments full of expensive furniture and all the modern twerks that are merely dreams in the twelve districts that sit dormant at its borders- only used for the purposes that they are destined to be nurtured around.

'What's this then?' I ask, pointing towards the furthest door; the only one to be tightly closed.

'Oh well it's my studio…' He blushes, a soft colour blooming in his cheeks.

'Do I get to see?' I ask, raising an eyebrow.

'If you really want to…' He murmurs, moving towards the door, and placing his hand on the sleek handle; pushing it open. Before I've even took a step, I am overcome by magnitude of the room. It's huge, like really huge- big enough to probably fit a few families in comfortably. The walls are draped in what looks like an array of every possible fabric known to man, embellished with an assortment of accent accessories and an array of random tit-bits that seem in shimmer even in just the normal light of day. It's so very far removed from the clean-cut rooms that make up the rest of his home; it's got a personality, like it shines with the sheer attention to detail and quirky traits Axel radiates. I run my finger across the strip of fabric closest to me, feeling the silky-smooth material caress my fingertips.

'I know it's a bit…'

'Wow?' I interject.

'Mad was what I was going for, but wow will do.'

I wander over to the mannequin sitting half dressed in the centre of the room, high up on a platform. The material encircling its upper half is what seems to be the roughest of cord, but somehow subtly dissolves into a soft sheer fabric.

'So what's this for?' I ask, turning to look at him. He looks down at his feet, picking at a none- existent piece of lint of his pants.

'Ax?' I ask, stepping forward and placing my hand on top of his.

'It was for the tribute.' He whispers, looking into my eyes.

'Tribut…' But then it all clicks into place. 'Oh…' I breathe, my lips making the perfect 'O' as my lungs seem to release every scrap of oxygen stored in my lungs.

'Yeah it was something I was playing with before the reaping…'

'So, what about the dress she wore?' I ask, looking at him with a confused expression.

'Well I had a lot of time on the train…' He laughs without humour.

'Why…how?'

'How? Well that's an easy one…you know what I can do…' He laughs pointing around the room, at the sketches hung haphazardly around the room. 'And the why…well from the moment I saw her I knew that…' He points to the half-made dress. '…wasn't what she needed…that last night I wanted to give her something to remember…' He shrugs, but I feel a tremor go through his hand.

'Your amazing, do you know that?' I whisper, squeezing his hand with my own.

'I just didn't want her to be forgettable…'

'Well she certainly wasn't that.' I smile.

'Come on, I'll give you a tour of the place…' He smiles, leading me out of the room.

'I think I'll need a map!' I laugh, which in turn makes him chuckle.

The apartment is huge, is like a dream. Apart from the studio the place has no personality, and is more than anything else just an assortment Capital glory and expense. The kitchen has utensils I would never imagine, something I'm told is called a Micro-wave in which you can heat up pre-packaged food… like even pre-packaged food is available here, how is that even possible? The bathroom is a copy of the one in the training centre; complete with: both a hot and cold water tap- along with an abundance of water, a bath the size of a swimming pool, a shower complete with that technical , a working toilet and sink, one of those ridiculous technical dryers and even a huge floor to ceiling mirror; the whole place had the same vibe my Victors home did when I first moved in, as if it was nothing more than a structure…so very far from being a home- the only place here that held any type of personality was the studio complete with colour and a sense of belonging. The whole place has a vibe of being more of a show home, than anything else; no little belongings or personal touches apart from a single picture in his bedroom…placed almost un-belongingly on a beautifully, skilfully designed side table. It a photo of me and him, one I never even knew existed. It is caught off guard and my outfit alone tells me it is from the Victory tour in the Capital; we are sitting alone on the outcrop of seating and we aren't touching, not even the tips of our toes touch; I remember the moment, the intimacy of it- being close enough to touch but just enjoying the closeness; our eyes are locked together, and a soft smile is gracing my lips. The picture brings a smile to my own face, one I have no control of but I sense rather than see Axel smiling too; I turn to see him watching me with something unfathomable to me in his eyes…a look of need, a look of hunger, a look of longing.

'So this is it?' I ask, with a smirk.

'This is it.' He laughs.

'It will do… I suppose.' I giggle; turning my back completely on the photo and wandering over the room to the door where he stands.

'It will do? Does that mean what I think it does?' He asks, biting his lip nervously.

I look around the room, survey the plain expanse of expense and then turn my eyes back to Axel.

'Without a doubt.' I whisper, with my lips only centre-metres from his…

But just as he begins to close that very small distance, a noise seems to echo in the room; like a dullened alarm. My eyes seem to flicker of their own accord to the surroundings but to my horror I find nothing and my heart begins to soar…

I turn to look at Axel to see him…

What is he doing?

I look closer at the small device he has next to his ear, he seems to be talking into it….

Who is he talking to?'

'…Right…we'll be there now!'

'What is…'

'No time for that…' he cuts me off. 'Look we need to get back now!'

'Why?' I ask with what even I can hear is ill-disguised fear.

'The beginning of the end.'


	24. Chapter 24

I run with a purpose, run so fast I feel my shoes hit the floor at a thunderous speed. The lift isn't fast enough to bring me to our floor, the normally quick ride feels as if its dragging on my very soul; as if it knows that I am so very desperate to see the screen. I won't go back to the Hub, I won't watch on the main screen; they are gathered in the apartment and I too will sit and watch in the comfort of our own quarters, where we are at least slightly less destined to be spied upon. The doors upon with the silky smoothness that all corners of the Capital seem to possess.

'What's going on?' I ask, swinging off my black cape with little regard for where it falls, the heels on my feet seem to be aware of my urgency and the normal concentration I need for stumbling around in them is lost, to the dire need inside me to come face to face with the screen, and what is happening in the matrix that is the arena.

'They aren't that far away…' Johanna's voice sounds uncharacteristically soft. 'They are pushing them together…' She sighs.

As I look to the screen I see exactly what she means, the terrain is a fearsome collection of tortuous Game-maker creations that scatter the arena; that is being thoroughly, and horrifyingly battered by a thunderstorm of pounding rain, ear slitting cracks of thunder that are whipping through the sky, and a fearsome wind which is making the already deadly wheat fields slippery and unidentifiable to map. The whole screen is filled with a mix of both Cato and Thresh pushing their ways through the expanse of land, trying to search out one and other…the play is very easy to see, as a fork of lightening somehow manages to strike a patch of the wheat; starting a tongue of fire, that begins to caress the wheat and cleverly bring the two into closer proximity. The fire's path is all but natural; its lavishing tongue is weaving a dark magic over the weak; pushing the two closer and closer together so that a fight is undoubtedly going to take place; even with the heavy sheets of rain the fire is growing; becoming more and more fearsome and unholy.

I sit down, my legs just seeming to give way. I feel Axel sit beside me; but I dare not look in case I miss something on the screen. I doubt anyone would understand but I can't help but realise that for the Capital this will be nothing more than show; all smoke and mirrors. For them this will be the highest level of entertainment and they will be on the edge of their seats just like us; except where we are cringing and watching in personal pain; they are watching for amusement and entertainment.

The fires torture is weaving both Cato and Thresh closer and closer; they are mere metres from each other but even through the screen I know that neither know just how close the other is. The towering wheat is an ever-changing maze; all in a constant state of change and development. The smoke coming from the fire smothers the air; making both Cato and Thresh cough loudly; but the noise is merely lost in the whip of the wind; that howls in the air. A moment passes but its long enough for all hell to be broken lose. They stand frozen, framed in wheat strands; drenched by the rain and blinded by the wind. It's a standoff, neither moves; their weapons are tightly gripped in a white-knuckle grasp at their sides; they both have never looked more towering and fearsome but nor have they ever looked like what they are…children- children battling to survive. Cato takes a step forward, just a single step; that Thresh mirrors- it's a slow dance for a few moments- each peppering steps so that they are rounding upon each other in a tightened circle; the air clogged with the thick cloud of smoke, emitting itself from the flames; that have stopped short of the two; but have almost caged them in like animals. With bated breath, I know that the game makers will be gleeful at what they have produced, the two fighters, the two dominant males enclosed and ensured on battle.

'You killed her.' Cato's face is carried in the wind, but Thresh must hear; he lifts his head up more defiantly and glares through the lashings of rain; a definite smirk plays on his lips.

'She killed the girl.' Thresh's voice is harsh and flat; void of any emotion; all he is doing is playing for time.

'What that little pathetic excuse?' Cato sneers. 'She didn't! But you killed her! You don't even deny it…and now I'm going to kill you.' His voice is pure fury; the emotions overlapping at the edges show only the hints of what we all saw when he held Clove in his arms as she died.

'You can try Two.' Thresh states.

And again, they start the dance; the mirroring of each-others movements- except this time they are fierce. The weapons move; they are held ready and waiting; but as if the Capital cannot bare to wait any longer; they repeat the sinfully shameless attack they pronged on Katniss. A fireball seems to appear in thin air; and it is far too clear who they want to win; but instead of killing Thresh the ball of flames caresses the top of upper arms; the one that holds some long sharpened knife- His scream pierces the air as he gasps in pain and Cato starts to move forward; as sly as any hunter, he makes the most of his opponents weakness. I gasp; I can hardly contain the whirlwind of emotion that is taking place in me like an extraordinary form of weather; its making my breath come fast, my heart is thundering…

'Oh God…' I breathe, moving my hands up to cover my mouth in horror.

With the blade edging closer, I want to close my eyes so I don't have to see the inevitable but I can't; for some reason my eyes will not close; will not allow me to hide away from what is happening all to real in the arena.

'Come on Thresh…' I breath, and I don't know why I'm saying it; because fact is f Haymitch to get back his victors Thresh needs to die.

The blade is inches from Thresh when through some miracle his senses come back and the hooked knife-edge that is in his other hand flies through the air; and with some force it hooks into Cato flesh; just below his neck. The blade seemingly get stuck; the hook not giving way to the skin that's entrapped in its barbs. Cato's shout of pain, is as human as you get, it's the pain of knowing death is coming and whether it be that realisation or his urge to avenge Clove's death; Cato rips himself from the blade blood spatters in the wind and decorates his face in splatters of red. Thresh moves his way back, leaving some space between himself and Cato; he takes a quick glance at his arm and in this movement a nearby camera takes the chance to do a close-up shot.

I can't help my gag.

The skin is thin and wisped; the blood is already dried under the intense heat of the flame, and blister upon blister is already appearing on the ragged tissues that all show a definite sign of blackening. Thresh with some strength looks away from the wound and tightens his grip on the weapon in his abused side hand; pain courses through his face; and I can visibly see him gritting his teeth against the pain that is pushing from within.

I can't help looking down into my lap, feeling nausea swirling inside. I don't know how much time passes but I look up at the noise of blades clashing. In the time, I have been swallowing back my nausea the two have again charged and now the fight is coming in thick, trolling waves; another fireball slashes the air; making both Cato and Thresh move closer together in order to escape the flame. They are like cobras striking; quick and sharp. The blades clash again and again; but are littered with cuts and blooded wounds. Cato strikes fast at Thresh's weakened side and catching him off guard Thresh in reflex to the pain drops the long knife to the floor; as he gasps in agony as the wounds on his arm must be screaming in pain as Cato's blade has managed to puncture some of the just formed blisters; Cato moves again tighteningly fast and brings the blade down again on Thresh's weakened side; the blade slices so very cleanly and Thresh makes a sound that is gut-wrenching and in the same movement brings his blade me slicing deeply into Cato's thigh; in a sound of utter anger Cato slashes the blade…I'm unsure what he has achieved but Thresh falls down to his knees.

'Holy…' Finnick gasps.

'That's…oh my god.' Johanna breathes.

I stare profoundly at screen, and its only as Cato flicks his blade in an arc so that Thresh is sprinkled with his own blood and Thresh raises hand to his throat that it all clicks into place.

'Oh…' I choke out.

Thresh with a resigned look in his eyes tries to stem the blood flow; with his hands but they do nothing to stop his life blood escaping.

'He cut his throat…' Axel murmurs.

A few moments pass; and Thresh slowly lowers himself to the floor; the blood pumping all too freely from the cut in his throat. Cato stands and watches; as the fire surrounding them ceases to exist and the battering weather continues its beatings on the terrain.

As I feel an urge to look away; Thresh closes his eyes. They flutter shut; and in less than a moment the cannon fires. He looks so small in death; so much utterly a youth. Cato stands and observes Thresh; the look on his face is murderous; with a quickened step, he rolls Thresh roughly over; and pulls with no care the packs attached to his back. Emblazed on the largest is a number 2.

'Cato's pack.' Finnick breathes.

'What does he desperately need...' I wonder aloud; turning to look at Finnick.

'No Ay…what did they desperately need.' Johanna corrects me.

My eyes flick back to the screen; where the battering weather seems to be ineffective in stopping Cato. With rough movements, he undoes the latch of the pack; and pulls out what looks to be a large strip of material…or two large strips of material. As he holds one of them up the shape seems somewhat obscure…

'What is that?' Johanna questions.

'Non-detectable armour.' Axel breathes, and there is a slight detectable awe in his tone.

'What?' Johanna asks; I think we all turn and look at Axel.

'Exactly what I said; its hellishly expensive but that is two whole body suits…'

'So that's serious sponsors, isn't it?' I ask but I think I already know.

'They were premium, premium at the beginning of the games let alone now…and for two…' He lets his words hang suspended in the air.

We watch in silence as Cato steps into the suit that covers him from ankle to neck and like Axel said its undetectable; apart from a slight shine where the water clings to it.

The night quickly quietens; and the hammering of the weathers stops as abruptly as it begun and Cato makes his way into the forested area; setting camp near the very entry way; in full view. In the quiet Axel and myself excuse ourselves and we return to our room. So much has happened today, so much is still to happen and if in honest truth I feel defeated almost; deflated. An Avox runs a hot bath; in the tub that is honestly like a swimming pool; Axel and I climb in on opposites sides, the Avox comes in and puts some weird goo into my hair which she lushly massages in to my scalp and washes out with the gentlest of care before leaving. I lie with just my head resting on the edge, letting the water lap over my limbs; trying to let all the troubles of the day pass by me and be replaced by the relaxing sensations of the water drifting over my skin; with my eyes closed I could be lying at the very shallow end of the sea.

'Your quiet.' Axel comments, I hear the movement of water and then I sense before I feel his presence beside me.

'Long day.' I murmur.

'You sure that's all?' He asks, taking my hand in his.

'Positive, why?'

'I just worry.' He laughs with no humour.

'You ain't getting rid of me!' I laugh, which makes a smile play on his lips.

'Well I'm glad to hear that.' He whispers, as he moves his lips to mine.

As I lie in bed, cocooned in Axel's warmth as the morning light shines through the window; a sensation of tranquillity comes over me as I listen to the beat of his heart mingled with his slow dreamy breaths. I don't know whether it's because I've made the decision or just because I know it's the right one but deep down I think I always knew I had no option but to be with the one I love. I turn my head and snuggle into Axel's side; feeling his heavy arm envelope me, making me feel absolutely safe and totally secure. I don't know how long I stay wrapped in his warmth before a knock startles me. Axel's eyes flutter open; and with a yawn he sits up raking his hand through his hair.

'Yes?' I say tentatively, the door opens and its framing a truly spectacular woman…although it's a woman I know without a doubt I have not met. With a squeak, I pull the covers up to my chin; and stare at the woman with wide eyes. She is sight to say the least.

Her hair is aqua, like glow in the dark aqua; twisted into a random array of twist and curls and what looks to be knots… Her lips seem to be the main attraction on her face; outlined in a vibrant orange, but yet coloured with a truly magnificent shade of magenta- clashing horrifically! Yet that doesn't mean the rest of her face doesn't scream something originally wow. Her eyelashes are so very long that they graze her face every time she blinks, and are the same colour as the orange that glows in highlighting the shape of her lips. She dressed in an assortment that is quirky to say the least. A very tight long skirt that clings tight to her calves, in a cluttered pattern of stripes differing between the horrifically bright orange and magenta; topping off her outfit is a blouse with so many layers of fabric layered together, I'd struggle to find the head hole!

'Can we help you?' Axel asked rather bluntly; pushing his hair off his shoulders and sitting up in the bed.

'Actually yes.' The woman said in a very strong Capital accent. 'The president wishes to see you.' She announced with a flourish.

'The president?' Axel says.

'Wants to see us?' I add.

'Yes, and yes.' She smiles, which sends her makeup into a rather curious arrangement.

'Why?' I ask, feeling something like nerves bubble inside of me.

'How would I know?' The woman laughs; I smile sheepishly and fiddle with my engagement ring as the awkwardness in the room grows and the fact I'm naked becomes an elephant in the room.

'Okay…' Axel sighs. 'When?'

'As soon as you are ready.' The woman says, going to sit down on the love seat in the corner of the room.

'Can I help you?' Axel says, with slight annoyance in his tone.

'Oh, I'm too wait for you both.' She smiles.

'Well you can wait outside.' Axel says pointing towards the door.

'The president said…'

'You can wait outside.' Axel repeats, the woman stands and smooths her skirt and leaves with a rather haughty expression marring her face; as the door shuts I turn to look at Axel, only to find him looking right back at me.

'What the hell?' I say.

'I have no idea.' He sighs; reaching for my hand, we lace our fingers together. 'All I know is we're going to find out soon.' He kisses my hand and climbs from the bed.

I'm dressed in layers; fashionable layers according to Axel. I'm in a pair of tight leather pants that are a standout red; with a black top that shows acres more flesh than I truly feel comfortable with; Axel has stencilled flower patterns on my torso that is not hidden by the top; I have a shimmery slip over the top that glides over me but is made of more like scraps of material that flutter out and catches the light every time I turn; it falls down to the flow along the floor. My feet are in heels that are higher than any I've been in before; they are a glittery pink like the shimmery top and even in the dull morning light they sparkle. My hair and make-up too are dramatic.

We wander down to the living room, where the weirdly bizarre woman is sitting nursing a cup of tea off the nearby Avox.

'You ready?' Axel says, dangerously polite. She stands without saying a word and the drive down to the plaza is a quiet one. We are directed into the same room I was in where the president first gave me the ultimatum; I just hope this isn't round two.

We are seated at a little open area, outdoors on a balcony. There is a beautifully antique table set up with three chairs, and a full breakfast. I sit in a chair as a _servant_ pulls out the chair and lays a napkin on my lap. I raise my eyebrows in question at Axel who merely shrugs back. We don't have to wait long; President Snow arrives with a flurry of people around him; as soon as he sees us his face breaks into what I can only describe as a smile.

'Thank you for coming.' He says, sitting in the remaining seat; he says it as if we had a choice; I smile politely, not wanting to taunt him.

'What do you want?' Axel asks, raising a teacup to his lips.

'Your all about business!' He laughs, taking a sip from his own cup. No-one speaks for a couple of moments.

'Very well…' Snow sighs. 'I have been thinking and for your own safety and as I'm feeling in a very charitable mood I feel it would be best for you both to take up chambers with me.

'What?' I ask before I can stop myself.

'I require you to come and live in the mansion.'

'Why?'

'Like I said I'm in a charitable mood.'


End file.
